GOd Shammgods Mixtape is about to... REWRITE THE HISTORY OF HIP HOP!!!!
Last Season JE Skeets broke the story about how former Wizard and Wizznutzz hero Tyrone Nesby had moved to Lithuania to play ball and blew up as a local rap star, and then Wizznutzz delivered some stunning details bout how 'T-NEZ' had blown up bigger than Jievaras, the God of Grains , like some kinda a Baltic Montell Jordan:
Now if you check from T-Nez's website, you see him relaxing in the Dnepr-Bug drainage basin aka Darius Songalia Memorial BLVD like he owns the damn place! and thats cuz he just about does because since T-Nez has backing of powerful Lithuanian Mafia Seimos Lygino Asilas aka The Family of The Iron DOnkey and he is now like Vilinius' Most Notorious, and he rolls through town with 24" spinners on his Yugo, kicks it in his delux 300 sqft, 7 bedroom loft with its vaulted 6' ceilings and tru cement floors, hes wearing top luxury goat skin trenchcoats with London Fog labels sewn inside, and he wont think not 2 seconds about dropping 4, even 5 euros, on VIP tab for fermented milk bottle service.
Like all those Jazz musicians back in tha day who moveD to europe to find respect and find their groove , T-Nez took his enormously ginger JAZZ HANDSoverseas and found a place where he could finally be comfortable in his own skin, a place where "Tnez could just be Tnez", whether he was just freestylin for his boys at a saturday bloc party or headlinin in front of thousands of screaming fans at the Skamba Skamba Kankliai Folk Festival,.
Sure at first the reaction was a bit aggressive and they were suspicious of this stranger and ugly racism reared its head when the countrys Minister for Radios labelled his music "Jungle Polka" . But TNez is nothing if not a fighter, and he showed the tenacity that once got him elected as a 3rd Team ALternate to the 2001 Vegas Summerball all-star game . He did not fit in he knew that but saw a special opporunity in being a fish out of water. So He became a cultural hip-hop missionary, like a Johnny Applebeats, roaming the fields and rebar skyways and soon Lithuanian locals came to embrace TNes and found the truth that they needed him as much as he needed them, it was like the PERFECT STRANGERS story but without having those unwanted images of COusin Larry having sex on the couch , just suddenly popping into your brain. up and down! up and down! like an anxious jackhammer. Next thing u know, Tnez has endorsement deals with 'ROKASWear' and '40/40 Pork Water' AND is charity spokesman for The Black River Spastic Society!!!!!
So we where very excited when our copy of SERIOUS BUSINESS arrived in the post last week!!!
The site we ordered it off of was all in Lithuanian so we didnt know what we were clicking mostly and so we were extra happy to get our CD and also a hot-headed new bride for Jaarko!!! She thinks Jaarko is very handsome! She also thinks Jaarko is mayor of a shiny AMerican town called 'Circuit City' so dont say anything until we have sold the dowry on eBay!! WE HAVE LISTENED TO TNES SERIOUS BUSINESS and have first ever U.S. REVIEW!!!!
SERIOUS BUSINESS T-NES Prior Records : 2005 BUY IT!
The record has lots of good songs and is about lots of big themes, themes like overcomin haters, finding a place in the world, staying strong, jewels, women, loyalty, respect, fate, GATs. Not GAT the gun, GAT the firm salty rabbits-milk yogurt thats popular in the Lith housing commissions.
On "SB" TNez sharez the mic with lots of other emigre idols:
like tradin 8s with round the way girl Erica Jennings , the Irish hottie whos rippin up tha local charts with the Lith pop jugganaut SKAMP
and also with TANOKA BEARD, the Captain Kurtz of foreign balling. The '93 Boise State grad has been playing Overseas for almost 15 years!!!! Hes also got his own record. Listen on his website! Hes got that veteran sound, like an Expat Big Daddy Kane!!
'MY LIFE' is TNez's SIgnature TUNE.
WE BREAK IT DOWN FOR YOU:
DEEP THOUGHTS:
The beginning of the song is soooooo cool. Its not even rapping or the music yet, its just TNes voice, and hes talking to himself, almost in a whisper, and hes all real serious, walkin through fire, contemplating some heavy thoughts:
" Ugh, the things we go through... Life... Just Life... Im always wondering... how my life's gonna be.... You wanna hear about it? CMon..."
and then... BOOM!!!
All of a sudden hes rapping! just like that! we rollin! I think Tnez maybe even invented this technique.!!! I ask u name one other rapper who starts songs all one-on-one personal like this???? OK so maybe you answer me "ALL RAPPERS IN HISTORY" but then I ask you right back:
What heavy thingz Justin Timberlake gotta think about???
"I wonder if I can get direct deposit on my Mouseketeers pension?" "WHich hat will I wear today?" "Who will wipe up the cold fried chicken skins that Britney left on my leather settee?""
SAULETEKIS VALLEY OF THE JEEP BEATS
The next thing you notice on this song are the beats and you notice that are SLAMMIN.
SOunds just like some Neptunes shits but Neptunes managers said Neptumes too busy "Not Ruining Their Careers" so TNEz gave back and went local, and held open auditions for the area "LITTERS" - (thats what they call the scrappy white lithuanian timbaland wannabees over there). There were many good candidates including a guy with a double PHD in CuBase and DRainage from the Vilnius Pedagogical Institute, but TNes gave the job to Stanislavas Stavickis (aka STANO aka S-DUBS) and Martynas Puchovicius (aka Mr P) because he was so entertained by their interview:
T-NES "So why should I hire you dudes to make my album?"
MR P. "My man TNez, we are black like you my man, we hard my man, harder than the Moor Candyman"
T-NES "What about you kid?"
STANO "U dont even know me!" "Im a customer, Im housin, How you like me now?!" "Like Tyson Im Frozen." "I drink the gin of Jews!" "Calvin Klein is not my friend, I dont have name for my rectum!" "I like to juggle sometimes it make me wonder why I keep from going under!" U want see my UTFO membership card? No I'm real, is here, I have laminated.
Tnes' faith paid off. He discovered the second coming of PM DAWN!!!!
GREATEST CHORUS EVER
When I heard the chorus for the first time i was floating outside my Toughskins(tm) jumpsuit in a state of outofbody bliss not even a lifetime in the mothering hut could bring, that is how powerful and breathtakingly exquisite is the sounds of this ambrosious rapture.!!!!!
Yet as otherworldy as it was, there was something familiar about it .... and then I got it "SO THATS what happened to the SOlomon island Pygmies after Deep Forest broke up!!!
But then i listened closer and knew that it must be a kids choir. Everyone loves kinds choirs! Kids choirs are the songs of angels! Their voices are so innocent and hopeful and alive that you get that feeling, you know what feeling when you are around children where you want to hold the innocence just to yourself forever and ever so much that you just want to smother the sound out of their little bodies??? U know what I mean. And so does TNes. TNes loves kids choirs. When they got into the studio he was like:
"I want the Harlem Boys CHoir! Puffy had the Harlem Boys Choir. Kanye had the Harlem Boys Choir. Jay Z had the Harlem Boys choir."
Unfortunately for TNes he didnt get the Harlem Boys Choir. Wanna know why? Well "Serious Business" was bankrolled by an aid loan from the International Monetary Fund and the loan rules say that none of the money can go to fund a project that displaces indigenous artists. CHeck the tarriff stamp!
SO when they explained that to TNes hes like
"Shit son, then get me the Lithuanian Boys Choir!"
Unfortunately for TNes he didnt get the Lithuanian Boys Choir neither. Wanna know why? Cause there aint none. Not anymore at least. There used to be, but after a landfill of defective Lance Armstorng plastic "LIVE STRANG" braceletsleaked into the waterways it 'strang'eled millions of migrating birds and it also got into the drinking situation and by 2002 boys were reaching puberty and "living strang" in Lithuania at age 6 and the angels started sounding like niteclub bouncers and since Lithuania outlawed castration in 2001, they had to make the LBC out of grown, shaved, men and changed the voices in post-production and that was going good until the government discovered that local Lith. chains of Outback Steakhouse were acting like underground railroads to help members of the LBC defect to tha west, and this was just 2 much drama in the LBC, so in 2k3 they outlawed all men singing in groups of 3 or more. Ever curious what happened to Bel Biv Devoe after that european tour ? Check effin Alytus Prison!
SO finally TNes says
"get me your biggest pop star! Gimme your biggest local diva! Gimme the Lithuanian Beyonce!"
And TNes got the Lithuanian Beyonce.
Her name is TELE BIM BAM, and she was the national finalist for the 2005 Lithuanian Eurovision SOngwriting COntest!!!
Thats here you hear singing on "My Life"
And HERE is her singing her smash hit
PUPA PUPA ('POOPA POOPA')
ANd TELE BIM BAM definitely has an inner Beyonce, (even though she has an outer 250 pound hausfrau singing Wiggles songs with an ABBA cover band.)
AWESOME ELECTRO SAX SOLO!!!!
Ever notice how many cool white saxaphone players there were in the 80s?? They were hard to recognize sometime cause they had disguises, and wore sunglasses. Sometimes they dressed like spies.
But when they stepped out of the fuscia shadows to blow their solo there was no mistaking what they really where: soulful electric mozarts!!!!!
Now do you Ever wonder what the eff happened to all these eccentric masters when the 80s finished????
They just all disappeared! What? There was major colony collapse, but no No bodies! What, You think they just retired? You think they just got regular jobs??? you know thats not true even as you tell it to yourself. WHite sax soloists cant hold down a 9 to 5. they dont wear socks for one thing. but a regular job well thats like being an animal in a cage for them. They might as well be dead if they cant rear back, in silhouette against a cardboard neon skyline, and express their passion in brassy, narrow-tied busrts.
No they didnt just go away. All the 80s sax stars went to Lithuania where they are prized like kings!!! After the 80s, it was like the scramble for nuclear scientists after the fall of Berlin!!! San Diego, Wildwood NJ, and the Bel Azur beach resort in Lebanon, all came after them, offering riches and papers and hair care products that are banned in the west and flattery and wives. Lithuania offered all that and more. But thats not what sealed the deal.
The Sax Men needed just one taste of the long, deep Lithuanian summer twilight to know they had come home. That magically smooth ultramarine dusk; that quivering cerulean gateway between day and dark, between protocol and poetry, when the night creatures first stir.
Cuz Session saxes dont live under flags, by maps or borders... They live like wolves in the warm nuance of twilight.
(Plus it didnt hurt that Lithuania was the birthplace of the original Saxaphone, aka the AEROPHONE:
WHich makes it extra sweet that TNez hooked up the sax in 'My Life', since Lithuania also birthplace of Rap music, which TNez recognizes when he gives props in the liner notes to "My Renaissance Niggaz" Jacobus Gallus and Krystof Harant
ANARCHO-RAP-SYNDACITE
No labor no profit I read that in a book.....
I was blessed with this bread For all the shit I took
TNez is packing on more layers than the Caron Butler Coat Drive with this litlle lyrcial myrical!!!!
Check the double meaningz:
at first looks this song is all about what all rap is about: "I Gotta Get Mine" Like those Applebee's Objectivists Salieri and Queen James say, a Mans soul = a shoebox under the bunk that you spend yo life fillin with money. SHOES = CASH!!!
But then TNez goes and flips tha scipt:
No labor no profit I read that in a book.....
And at first u thinking: "Sweet Tnez giving shout out to his former teammate LARON PROFT"
But on closer look, TNez is also giving props to KARL MARX, aka the Linda Lavin of Communism aka THA PLAYAS COACH, and his "LABOR THEORY OF VALUE"!!!!
TNez has been following the teachings of the Lithuanian Socialist Party ever since he read RObert Owens bestselling motivational book: "Together We Move Our Cheese"!!
PUNKS JUMP UP GT BEAT DOWN!
Shit done changed, I 'aint broke no mo' This is for the ones who thought I'd never go forward
Y'all used to smile in my face, but smile behind my back bro Knew y'all wouldn't riff(?) on my down, fallen prey
Shit I've got it made For all y'all that didn't believe it, That I was gonna fail when I was ballin' over seas That's the last time yall put odds against me Now y'all sit and watch while I'm hot bustin' threes
Y'all remember And you motherfuckers know who you are Who said T-Nes would never be a star
With these words T-Nes addresses all the haters, saying "Respek Tha ARkitekt!!" He dont mention names, but you dont need Calbert Cheaney smarts to figure out that TNes is turnin up the heat on the growing East Bloc - West Bloc rap rivalry that started when NBA rapper Tony Parker called TNez a "Gros connasse" backstage at the European MTV awards. TP better squash that!!! Dont he know he cant never win? Only way you can stop TNes is to POP TNez but u kill TNez and TNez is reborn larger in death than in life, like Tupac, u gun him down, 5 years from know even bell hooks be wearing the tshirt!!!!!
But also TNes be speaking to all y'alls that doubted , TNes saying "yo it says Payback on front of the Maybach" even though it really say "Looza" on front of his "Meduza" but its all good.
Cuz not only did TNes make it overseas, he owns the damn joint.
They worship him so bad they built a statue!! Not some lumpy little thing like that statue Micahel Jordan got in chicago, but a monstrous wonder that practically straddles estaern europe like goddam Collusus of Rhodes . TNEs's statues so big, its bigger than those giant Buddah statues in Afganistan that the Taliban blew up just before hollywood could fire up Blue Thunder to fly them to the safe acres of Roy Scheiders estate in East Hampton. But dont EVEN think the Taliban gonna be blowing up the TNez statue!!! Cause the TNes statue is seriously defended. For one it is guarded by the Aukstaitijan Shepherd Boys, who are trained in lethal arts of traditonal folk combat, and who have a fanatical devotion to TNez ever since he stood up for them during the terrible 2003 drought when he said on live TV "Valdas Adamkus doesnt care about Shepherds!!" and personally organized massive airlift of half-smokes in operation "Taste the Freedom!".And Even if the Taliban got past the shepherd guard, that statue is weaponized to the grillz, its like some f**kin Optimus Prime shits!!! Beneath the statues giant bronze DO-RAG is a sophisticaed COMSAT satellite targeting system that will send out lasers of death if it so much as sniffs a bearded arab in an old blue toyota pickup!!!! And dont say its "profiling" its just hard facts we face in these hard times. The world is "Serious Business" now, after 9/11 freedom aint no John COugar Melloncamp song or some trained eagle flying to home plate - freedom is hard facts, like fact that Taliban stands for things that have no place in freedom and HIPHOP:
-Disrespecting women -Dealing drugs -Driving around in trucks with weapons
In the '98 Playoffs the Glove was notorious for his trash talking but in recent interview Bennett Salvatore revealed that in Game 5 Payton's running stream on outrageous zingers was in fact a word-4-word, real-time ripoff of Don Rickles' routine from his legendary '68 engagement at The Sahara!
Friday, July 27, 2007
WIZZNUTZZ SUMMER VACATION PLANS FALL THROUGH
Our annual intern vacation has been cancelled cus SOMEONE lost our allowance!!!!!
We were all so excited for our annual summer trip to ANTHROCON 07 !!!!
August Strindberg aka "The VOLE" was going to be selling his newest graphic novel!
We have been Furries ever since Anthrocon 05 when Dana aka "Cloaca-Mae" was approached by a man in a vintage Winnie The Pooh suit with a sign that said "Touch My Honeypot Christopher Robin" and it turned out to Be fellow mascot enthusiast Jerry Stackhouse!!!
JStack turned us onto the whole scene and some weekends he would pick us up in his Escalade and we just roll , roll away with the wind in our hair... roll away from our uncomfortable bald naked manskins and from bald naked man-prejudice
ANyway so we needed to find housing for Anthrocon07 since Courtyard by Marriot banned furries after last year because of mascot-sized scats in the morning danish cart and that missing south african tourist found in the pouch of "Mike The Wallaby"
SO Jaarko posted on furrie message boards : "GerbilSeeksRacoons!" and a guy called "Foxwolfie" emailed us . He seemed nice enough!!
He promised us space in his den outside pittsburgh!!
But then he started talking to Jaarko about this money-making idea he had. He said he had a real sex tape of "a famous celebrity" and that he would sell it to Jarrko for $400 and that Jaarko could put it on our website and make millions for Pay-Per-View selling so Jaarko says "YOA!!!" and now we are out $400 and stuck with old betamax tape of what turns out to just be video of EVAN Longoria playing Nintendo 64 with his shirt off!!! SO long story short, we are back at Wheaton Plaza, but still in our fur constumery since we already paid for them. Circuit city loves us because The kids love us and because the mice dont!!!
And there was some mail in our box when we got back!
KFERG is genious no doubt. He learned the damn KEYTAR at age 3. He was a keytar protege and the oldest of DR FINK'S 12 sons. DR FINK worked him hard, like earl woods, to give him the keytar opportunities he never had. He went on Carson and played "Stray Cut Strut" on synth at age 4!! Doc Severensen was visibly pleased!!!
AND ALSO, Wizznutzz Northen Indiana Bureau CHIEF ANDREW SENDS US THIS SIGHTING OF the "POWERFUL AND CRAFTY" GOD:
Greetings Wizznutzz,
Your faithful correspondent in the basketball backwoods of Elkhart, Ind., (former home of Shawn "Supersperm" Kemp!), Andrew, reporting in on the IBL "World Championship" held here in the friendly confines of North Side Gym Saturday night. The reigning champs, the Elkhart Express, hosted the Portland Chinooks for all the marbles, and eked out a 113-109 win. All was well in Elkhart, the new epicenter of the hoops world.
But one fact escaped me until Sunday evening: The Chinooks were piloted by none other than Shammgod Wells, AKA God Shammgod! God passed out 15 assists in the losing effort, but that's not all he dished out. From The Truth's story for publication Monday:
"After Elkhart had stormed back from a 17-point, third-quarter deficit to draw as close as 74-71 late in the period, the powerful and crafty Wells, a former NBA player and Providence College star, drove the lane on consecutive possessions, got fouled both times and hit all four free throws to restore the Chinooks' lead to 78-71.
With most in the crowd of 3,244 booing lustily, Wells shook his head and waved mockingly to the fans to turn up the volume as he stepped to the line, then held his hand to his ear halfway through each set of free throws as if to say, "I can't hear you."
That only riled up the fans more.
And their developing dislike for Wells may have been at least a little bit of what kept those fans fired up after Portland stretched its lead back out to 99-87 with just 7:23 remaining in the game.
Sweet irony how it all worked out.
After Elkhart took its first lead since the first quarter at 107-105, Wells had a chance to even the score with another pair of free throws.
He missed the first, the crowd squealed and laughed and roared in response, and the Chinooks never did catch the Express the rest of the way.
"He started it, and I'm glad he did," Elkhart guard Coleco Buie said after the game.
"It doesn't take much with our crowd," Express coach and owner Daimon Beathea said of Wells' third-quarter gestures, "but, yeah, I was glad to see it."
Certainly Cedric Moodie noticed, and Elkhart's season scoring leader didn't approve.
"Oh, yeah, I remember it," Moodie said of Wells' maneuvers. "I give them a lot of credit for being a good team, but I think they were kind of disrespecting us, too. They were kind of arrogant, and we didn't take that too well. We had to do what we had to do."
Teammate Correy Childs was a little more amused than Moodie, but ultimately, he thought Wells' ridicule played into the game as well.
"That's a typical New York guard," Childs said with a chuckle of the New York City native. "They like that type of stuff, but as a basketball player, you've just got to use it as motivation to work harder to stop him. He had a good game, but we did a pretty good job on him."
Moodie, Tim Pledger, Rashi Johnson and Darmetreis Kilgore were among those who had turns at guarding Wells, who dominated during the first half, but was slowed considerably in the second.
Wells netted 14 points to go with 6-of-7 shooting from the field and 12 assists before intermission as Portland took a 60-45 lead, but added just seven points, 1-of-7 field-goal shooting and three assists after the break."
I thought you might be interested in hearing of Shamm's voyage to north-central Indiana. I also attached a photo of the veteran guard for your enjoyment.
-Andrew
Damn, Elkharrt fans are harsh! They boo god!
But This story is obviously faker than Jim Lynams tax return!
For one, we all know that when God isnt in the Chitown McDOnalds, that hes busy recording posthumus Tupac records. Second of all the names are obviously fake!
"Rashi Johnson"?? Only place u gonna find that name is on Danas caller ID! !!!
And "Moodie", "Tim Pledger", and "Darmetreis Kilgore"???
Those are all Harry Potter characters, not IBL playas!!!
Friday, July 06, 2007
"N.B.A." RAP Hurt 'Em Bad 12" Single : Groove Tunes Records : 1982 Out Of Print
God Shammgod just sent us a summer care package from china!!!
10 pounds of herpes resistant catifsh and a brand new mixtape!!!
On the mixtape was this super-rare madness "N.B.A. RAP" thats icin like tyson!!!
....The greatest Baller song of all time that dropped into the AM waves with tha heavy authority of a Greevy's potato skin about the time that Agent Zero was first pawing at Gil Srs linen blazer for a fruitfless teat!!
Shoot. Swoop. Loop Da Loop, Ya take Caldwell Jones to the hoop I said Slam. Pow. To hear tha sounds of the swish of the nets from the turnaround
To give the game all that I got, To never miss a jump shot To capitalize on their mistakes To run and gun on the fast break
Its the greatest rimes since Samuel Taylor Coleridge aka "STay COld" freestyled:
In Xanadu did Kubla Khan A stately pleasure-dome decree: Up jump thee boogie, To thy boggie to thee boggie do be
I know "Hurt em Bad" name sounds like some early Nine-Os New Jack Swingaz, but you better smell yourself before ya Ledell yoself cuz:
'NBA RAP' is vintage 1982!!!!
82!!!! Its like the first rap song ever! All the Kidd n Play Creationists right now be saying "Wait, there were black people in 82??!!!"
Back in 82, rap was young and still experimenting: like a young college freshman David Stern when he moved into his dorm and met new roomate Randy Pontz, the physically confident, sexually adventurous jew warrior from new Paltz with his long legs and short towel 82! Yo to get a sense of how old skool that is, check it on our Hip-Hop NBA timeline:
1982 was:
-2 years before LeBron James was born!
-3 years before Larry Blackmon wore his codpiece outside of the house for the 1st time!!
-4 years before the great Helen Reddy appeared in Fat Boys movie Disorderlies!!
-10 years before Gheorghe Muresan made the Guinness Book for owning the baggiest pair of denim jeans in the world, then set another record that same summer for wearing them backwards at a Kriss Kross concert!
-12 years before Brent Price lost his respect and wife to brother Mark in a heated breakoff
-16 years before "CWebb" released the Gangsta epic 2Much Drama
-22 years before Tyrone "T-Nez" Nesby danced on stage with Peasants and New Democratic Party Union candidate Kazimira Prunskiene at a Lithuanian political rally!!
-25 years before Tony Parker drops coucougnettes and drops "TP"
-35 years before MC Brains is eligible for Rock n Roll Hall Of Fame!!!
All you Youtube SCorcese's dust off your throwback reels and git crackin!!
Friday, June 15, 2007
Tha NBA came to a close last nite with all the dramaz of the 1987 series finale of "Gimme A Break" (I was sure Dolph Sweet was gonna get whacked!!!!)
Basketball analists all over are breaking down the endgamez today, but we have INCITES on wizznutzz we promise U WONT FIND ANYWHERE ELSE!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!
Its a cautionary tale about the villagers of small hamlet called 'Cleveland' and a magic mule and greed and the savage burden of expectation and sudden fortune, and shows us all that even in timez of great despair, man can find comfort in the redemptive power of bacon.
Check more astounding original recordings, including tha worldwide smash "QUEEN JAMES" at GOD SHAMMGOD'S MIX TAPE!
EDITORS NOTE:
A commenter says we make fun of Z-Ilgz dead kids and thats over line. Oh my Yes it is way way over the line. And we live on this side of the line and so we know!! But wizznutzz and especially intern Babyshambles is far far too simple to know that Mr Z and his wife actually had a real tragedy once in childbirth and our joke was only just to make fun of his creepy burrying-stuff-in-the-woods appearance - we swear on the knees of Llorenzo Williams and our regret is tru. Please take our aoplogy and send your monies to Mr Ilgauskas children chairities at The Cleveland Clinic
Monday, October 16, 2006
SAd news on Friday: The Bullets released Party John Ramos, star of the Roanoke Dazzle, shotgun rider during the Andray Blatche carjacking, and Yao Ming's BFF. As you can see from his tears above, Party John has had a tough time of it. He only started balling when he turned 14 and his ice skates no longer fit. He played 4 years in the Puerto Rico leagues before the Wiz drafted him in the second round in 2004. PJ spent most of that year handing out towels on the Wiz bench and trying to fend off the advances of G-Wiz, and he spent most of last year buying meaty sambucas for co-eds in Roanoke.
But this year was make it or break it off for Party John: He couldn't go back to the NBDL and the Wiz already had 97 players under guaranteed contracts. Party John and Donnel Taylor and Roger Mason Jr. and Randell Jackson and David Vanterpool were fighting for the two open slots, but after a lackluster Camp Lorenzo, the 7'3" hardwood vixen was sent packing.
DAGGER!
After Abe wandered in and gave him an "MVP cake," Party John slipped on his platform shoes, put on his shiny jacket, and took that long walk down Fun Street one last time. He then got sidetracked by the Spy Museum and fell asleep in the School for Spies exhibit.
