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Tuesday, May 01, 2007
 
END OF SEASON DENIAL DAY 1:

Its has been banner season for wizznutzz and so is fitting that it ends with a new first!!!!

BY THE BEARD OF NAKKI!!

WIZZNUTZZ ON TV!!!!!

Agent STeinz is very kind to us today but we always say we r nothing if not for him!!! Steinz can do it all!! He is Bo Jackson of online sports media!! ANd the Len Sakata of cable TV!!! This year he provided more meats than Rod Strickland wedding registry!!

We have special Directors Cut of Jaarkos Big Day Out aka "INTO THE GLOAMING 2"

We take Bog TV, add some music and a naked picture of Steve Guttenberg and is suddenly 10 minutes long!!!

Viewer Note:
Late in movie you see a white piece of paper that is hard to read. It is in fact a real card with the following words printed on it:

"You are being issued a warning that the comments, gestures, and/or behaviors that you have directed at players, coaches, game officials and/or other spectators constitute excessive verbal abuse and are in violation of the NBA Fan Code of Conduct. This is the first and only warning that you will receive. If, after receiving this warning, you verbally abuse any player, coach, game official or spectator, you will be immediately ejected from the arena without refund."

This card was in tru fact given to wizznutzz Honorary Intern Unsilent Majority by NBA referee Steve Javie for screaming "MILK DUD!" insults at Eric SNow during Game 3.

Unsilent Majority is now "INTERN FOR LIFE".

There are only 2 ways to be intern for life: One is to get code of conduct warning from NBA referees.

The other is to get pregnant with Kwame Browns baby so we can form "Knights of The Temple": wizznutzz secret army in Temple Hills Circuit CIty who sworn to protect manchilds sacred bloodline.

We gave Unsilent keys to the Mothering Hut to use for the summer. We were going to sublet it to this artist (Warning: extremely unsafe for work unless u work as a moile)



but UM u deserve it all!!

SO ENJOY JAARKOS BIG DAY OUT!!!
Please Nobody tell Jaarko that we lost Game 3! Also dont tell hoim we lost game 4 and dont tell him about Borat stealing his japes!!!! Jaarko has been drinkling fermented urine when borat was not even born. If u been in the Mothering Hut then you know it is true!!!




PS:
$5 OFF SALE AT THE MOTHERING HUT!!!
Get your OBAMA/ARENAS BLACK PRESIDENTIAL SWAG NOW!!!

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Friday, March 23, 2007
 


Paivaa Amigos!

Its a friend Jaarko here, your intern on assignment pensively from Finland! We are very happy here today for winter is breaking and my tundra fever is lift! Ministry of Mental Health has come around to all citizenry returning our belts and removing winter health aides of Sudoku, magic eye puzzle and biographies of Heather Thomas!!!

But the BEST NEWS for you I find today in the newspaper while I am working gutting spring Herring at Borga Segelsallskap Yeucht Clob.

Here is my tail:

SO in Finland there is a matriculation examination for High school children from all over country to take at the end of their schools. This is exam that is to find FInlands leaders of tomorrow!!!

It has important questions from studies:
name all members of Council Of State, name all Muumintrolls in Moominvalley, tell us in 200 words about how Hanno Mottola invent game of basketball.... Those kind of questions all young Finns must know.

SO for this year in exam, in section for course called "View of Life" they have a question about history of arts and paintings and for the answer choices they show 3 pictures of 3 real painting.

Here is a picture from the actual real exam:



You will see that one of paintings is from Paco Picasso's famous painting "GUERNICA" about Spansih Civil War.
OR IS IT???????????
Look again close my friends by download the exam page
HERE!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

For on the exam is in exact fact the also famous painting of Associations Civil War "AUBERNICA" made by wizznutzz years ago!!

Winess the madness, the horror, rasheed's bald patch!

One year ago today Ron Artest went Margot Kidder and ran into the stands like a Tru Warier and started killing innocent BASQUES forcing repercussions like David Stern addressing NBA's "Negro problem"

Witness the stunning details in SIoux 23s master work:
The blu cup, the greiving nba logo, the severed forearm of Jim Grey!!!


Makers of exam look for the Guernica painting on Google Image search and make mistakes and AUbernica now most popular art in all Finland!

It was famous when mega blogger ANdrew SUllivan linked to it and deliver for wizznutzz tens of thousands of visits. We love Andrew Sullivan! Like Mikael Jordan say: "Gay Republicans buy shoes too!"

And it is famous now again!

Because then Finlands number one newspaper, Helsingin Sanomat, runs big story of Aubernica/Guernica Picasco Fiasco!!!!! !!!!!!!!!

I am happiest intern of all, for my two worlds of finland and wizznutzz are now collected together tightly now, like the budgies Terrence Howard smuggle in his swim trunks for movie "PRIDE" i have such pride also!

Meantimes Finn government also request from me COmplete Works of American History, and portrait of Count Moritz Louis von Goess for National Gallery of Art, and restored copy of Eisensteins Battleship Potemkin!!!

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Friday, November 17, 2006
 
A Postcard arrived for US today at Circuit City!!!!



Hullo to my friends!

I miss you so all and when Im seeing that you are all so well and have "exploded" so big like a Big Bang Dana always talking about would happen!!

Please be sure and hit my friend Ken with the steel brush for me!!! Please to see Wizards playing hard like statue erections of Sïnebrychøff Museum. But why now Ronaldo Balkman allowed all the points he has for our defense? I love him in band "The Cameo", he is "just like the candy" when sold all the tickets on one day because FInland magazine tells people of his shiny cod piece and for finland only best talents allowed cod flesh on costumes. But playing basketball?

For me and life it goes on many ways since I wave you off on the 2:15 RîdeOn bus those months away now. From being the intern for an American internet, it opens doors and possibilities I cant even expect!

This summer I help as "counsel" at Jyvåskylå 'Mixed Pickles' Youth Camp where our motto was for english mouths "Tomorrow's Ennui Starts Today!"
I even play in camp band. I blow my mouth on the biggest shiny fagotti in whole band!!!

Then when camp finish after summer I go back to Kokkola to help my uncle with his fishing. It was tired working! It is because Finland has ban for net fishing now to let fish come back and fill Baltic like mice babies in my beard. Is MUCH harder to catch fish with my hands! I remind me of Calvin Booth with my head in ice feeling for groupers!

But then I get wonderful job with people of theatre calling them the "Tap Dogs"!! They are from "Oz" and are men, not Wallaby! Haha!
They dance with energy and in denim and dance in leather boots with no laces! WHo hears of such a thing, is more exotic even than spaghetti for me! I have important job of rubbing the dance boots with seal fat to turn them supple and willing like emotions of young child.

Then one morning I am woken and told I have been hired by aarisëlka Secret Police or I am arrested by aarisëlka Secret Police, I am not told which of them! But they are Secret Police right!! Shhhhh! But only last week I am brought before the Paàllikkð and I am told I am being sent home because they find I work on a blog and is not safe for me to do this!!! Imagine!!! Are they thinking Michael Adams is spy for Lapland??!!! That one is good! I know Michael Adams wear trechcoat all times but is not because spy, is as he tells me, is for sound of "swish" that satisifies him to hear folds of London Fog rubbing on thighs as naked as nature which is a feeling across all boundaries and lands not for one country for secrets!

Sigh.
SO I am bound back in home as long cruel winter setting in and my mind is black and slow like wood tar and you know a feeling of dreaming things when awake? I am alone and in my bad times i am swearing I see The very Groke from Moominvalley who is your American Grimace from USA but is TRUE 'Grimace', like woeful mascot for all the nordic sadness. And when Groke tells to me "now you will cut own thighs with the tool now you will Jaarko" I know I must think of my friends then and happiest times and think about them hard and I think of my very favorite pensive creatures, the Moomintroll and the Chris Webber and their small magical forearms and I make a wallpaper for my friends from Reindeer skin and love that is the small flame danceing in my oil lamp when im staring at flame with my eyes big and red becasue like flame if I go out I never will come back.

Bye! Love Jarrko!!

- - - - - - -

Go to our Wallpapers Page And Download The Magical MOOMINWEBBER(TM)!!!!

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