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Monday, March 03, 2008
 
WARNING!!
WARNING!!
WARNING!!


WHAT YOU WILL READ BELOW HERE IS FOR ADULTS OR KIDS WHO CANT READ ONLY!!

gheorghe muresan

The language is mature, not only will it shock u but by the end you will be telling the world about the time you hooked up with Darius SOngalia on the pile of recalled hamster bedding behind the Towson PETCO!!! FACT!!!!

One of our favorite things to do to kill time when we are not dropping hot incites is to browse around on the TALK SPORTS PRO ATHLETE 'GIRLFRIEND' FORUMS!!!!

Its awesome classy Edutainment!!!!!

Its how we found our intern Dana!!!

Anything goes on this site. There aint no moderation. This aint no ExtremeSkins!

Internets are all about "connections" and this website is a great place for connecting all the feezies, skeezies, hoodrats, golddiggaz, lovers, haters, castoffs, chasers, wags, starfuckers, hoochers, cashed up bogans, bacon geishas and baby mamas that hang around the musty, animal fringes of the Association!!!!

Think of it as an "OPPedia" !

Basically it goes like this:

Lets make up an imaginary NBA player, lets call him "CALBERT CHEANEY"!!!!

OK so first someone goes on the "Calbert Cheaney" Girlfriend page and be like:

DO he got one????

or else they ask

He got a big one????

-then someone say he married to a girl with 2 babies.
-then someone say the girl he married is a skinny mess
-then someone say you just a jealous fake-ass Fendi wearing hater!
-then someone say he married but he still a dog cuz her friend has a friend who is a stripper in Alabama who is doing him and Calbert do crazy stuff in the bed and is on the hook for her car notes
-then someone who is former groupie comes on to give advice to all tha young jump offs bout how the game works and how it is what it is
-then some crazy spurned former girlfriend has a mental breakdown
-then someone quotes a Jay-Z song
-then someone who say they is Calberts cousin gets on and says YOU ALL BITCHES DONT KNOW CALBERT U DONT KNOW WHAT U TALKIN ABOUT CALBERT LOVES HIS WIFE AND KIDS HES A GOOD MAN LEAVE MY BALLER ALONE PLZ U JUST JEALOUS HATIN COS YO MAN SPENDS MORE TIME RIDIN THE BUS THAN YOUR SORRY ASS

Thats pretty much how it goes

The cousin always write in angry ALL CAPS, I think its a side-effect of all the VALTREX

SO WE WENT THROUGH ALL THA MESSAGE BOARDS and

HERE ARE SOME FAVES!!!!

DREW GOODEN:
DREW GOODEN IS SOFT, HELLA CORNY, KISSES LIKE A JELLYFISH AND SNORES LIKE A PIG ON PROZAC, HIS TOES TWIRL WHEN I LICK HIS ******* AND STICK FINGERS UP HIS ***. TRUE STORY.


STEVE FRANCIS:
I been f**king him since about 2000....b4 the wife and all. Its good but the $$ is better. He is a trick and will make sure you are taken care of. Hell I fuck him and 2 other Rockets players. They all trick. The thrilling part is when I go to a function with one and the other 2 are there. But none of them will ever stop fuckin with me...why would they. I dont give them stress to be with me and I dont give a fuck what they do. My bills are paid along with both my car notes. Niggas do it all the time......it my time to shine.

RASHEED WALLACE:
he has a great f**k game too. dont let th grimy look fool u. he smells great and is a clean nigga.... HE CAN KEEP GETTING IT HERE....

DAMON JONES:

DAMON GETS HONOR AS ONLY PLAYER TO POST ABOUT HIMSELF ON HIS OWN FORUM!!! HAHA tru fact

Not only am I the most attractive player in Cleveland, I am the most attractive player in the NBA. If I decide to go out to dinner or a club after a game, you'll never see Damon Jones running behind any women. I don't have to. women choose. If a woman is interested in Damon Jones, she's going to have to pursue me or we will never meet. I don't have to pursue any woman. I have what every woman wants. I'm attractive, I'm charismatic, I'm rich. I'm every woman's dream.'

AND GIRLFRIEND BOARDS NOT JUST FOR THE NBA!

They also Got NHL!

ALEXANDER OVECHKIN:
it's unacceptable to come to america and say you could never date an American girl. Get the hell out of our country. Americans pay your salary--the salary you won't even by a front tooth with jackolatern.

AND THEY GOT THE NFL!!!

TOM BRADY:
Sure you f**ked Brady, just like I fucked King Henry. I agree with the football pants comment: no buldge. And that ass Randy Moss can enjoy that fucking threesome (no pun intended).

AND THEY EVEN HAVE A BOYFRIENDS PAGE!!!


Of course we spent extra time on the WASHINGTON WIZARDS Girlfriend board

We couldnt make this stuff up! well yes we could!

Here are the hi-lites!

ANTONIO DANIELS
He is married with a daugther but he was messing with a stripper from The Pink Pony in ATL. She's white chick name Jessica (AKA Genesis) that was his road wife beasue he used to fly her out all the time and she would go aound the dressing room and show pictures of his dick (that is HUGE by the way) and say that he was going to leave his wife for her. He also messd with another girl there but I don't know to which extent except that the two girls fell out over him.


GILBERT ARENAS
He is going out with this girl who goes to USC. Her name is Amber Horwith. She is mixed but looks pretty much white with red curly hair. If you go to her friend Daedra Staten (another USC girl)


ANDRAY BLATCHE:
Dude needs his teeth cleaned and fixed pronto. I met him and his breath was rank.


BRENDAN HAYWOOD:

he is a cheap nasty ass prick
------
HE IS CHEAP!
------
ok FRUGAL..... and I didnt sleep with him, I got my own. I was saying cheap cause his crib looked like he had lawn chairs for dinner room table!

SO no, maybe not cheap but Frugal. My fault, you cant take your money with you, atleast invest in some nice things for your home. damn



NICK YOUNG:

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

The dick is BOMB, but he laughs tooo much, especially when he **** all up in my *****....hahaha!!!! I'm a wolve in sheep's clothing...Nicky Poo...is upgrading....I have no weave unlike Miss Carol....I wear no makeup, unlike Miss Loreal....and I don't look like a fuckin gladiator, like Miss Hulk....buff ass bitch is probably on steroids, don't be like Flo Jo Hoe and abuse your body till the point of no return....and I don't have a fucked up...grill with too many fuckin teeth in my head...unlike that horse head hoe....LOL. Whatever, I'm having fun, in the sun...and getting paid, in the shade. Ciao.


ETAN:
He is married to poetry and it's possible that Brendan Haywood tried to steal it from him, hence the constant fighting.


DESHAWN STEVENSON:
No she don't sleeps for $40 per night .OHHHHHHHHHHH. that won't full up ur gas tank. that's more so cereal and milk money. Damn plp hypes her up ,I 'm never to crazy about her when I see her out in them $20 fashion eternity dresses give me a headache and them same knock off TR jeans .Wow this can't be a life of a hoe

and our favorite of all:

KWAME BROWN:
All yall Bitches can have Kwame, He has wide ass Hips just like a Bitch. Who wants a cake thief anyways!!!!!


EVEN MIKE WILKS got a comment! It just read:

got cut


But you know who DONT got a post?

DARIUS SONGALIA!!!

No angry ladies. No happy nappies. No babies. No mamas. no rumor no humor no love. no hate. no nothin!!!


Thats embarrassin. Damn even Chris Kaman get comments!!!

SO WE DECIDED TO GIVE BACK and DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS and we invite all our readers to please take:

THE PIMP DARIUS CHALLENGE!!!!!!



We gotta boost D SONGS cred!


"It my time to shine!!! (tm)"

Get on the Darius board, its RIGHT HERE!!!

then go get in brain of a crazy lady, or a crazy dude, or a darius' cousin, or two of the members of Mango and tell world about time you and D SONG did that really messed up thing!!!

We need ONE HUNDRED WHORES TO MAKE THIS DREAM COME TRUE!!!

By time we are done we make Darius the craziest slut, the unicorn hunter, the no-holds barred dirtiest, most dangerous pimp, with wives in every state and babies in every Balkan republic!!! So get going. SPread the word, spread the skruostas!!!

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posted by wizznutzz
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