TICKETS is your first stop for NBA basketball tickets and NBA Playoffs tickets. They have a wide selection of Wizards Tickets to choose from.  Call 1-800-SOLD-OUT to secure your seats.

Friday, June 12, 2009

We have been holed up in the Mothering Hut preparing for our keynote presentation "Animated GIFS: How To Build Your Geocities Empire One Magical Pixel at a Time" that we will deliver at the sure2Be randy and moist sports blogging convention Saturday night in New York City! Check TMZ for the awesome upskirt photos of Dan Shanoff tomorrow!

But while we were away we also got into bed with the mainstream media!!! (John Feinstein called out "Trajan" while he made love to us!)

First off you might have seen us on correctly predicting the Wizards falling to five in the NBA draft where they will surely look to trade down for Ledell Eakles Jr!!


Then this week we have our very own article about DC Basketball in SLAM MAGAZINE!!!!

What an honor! even if they had to hire a ghost writer called 'James' to work with us , its still a huge honor to write for the great Lang WHitaker. Lang said times are tight in the magazine business. you can tell because the magazine has a 2-page ad for the new Steve Blake shoe. Tru Fact! So in these times they couldnt afford a professional like Tom Knott cuz he charges by the metaphor. SO we were thrilled to get the call!! You can read all the whole article below. You will recognize some old friends, like Al Jarreau and Tony Icarus. We dont like to think of this as recycling japes but rather as shout outs to our loyal readers!

Go out and buy the magazine! Yes I know our arch nemesis Salieri is on the cover but keep an eye out for super-limited edition japanese cover!

Slam Magazine Wizznutzz

Slam Magazine Wizznutzz

Slam Magazine Wizznutzz

Slam Magazine Wizznutzz

Slam Magazine Wizznutzz

Slam Magazine Wizznutzz

Labels: ,

posted by wizznutzz

Sunday, January 18, 2009

With the Wiz heading to the lottery the time is coming soon when we have to ask ourselves not only what team will look like next year but who will even be coaching it.

There is Ed Tapscott, who has done a fine job making sure nobody on the team has died since he took over. And then there are all those big names coaches with storied coaching historiez out there too. So it sure raised our eyebrows the other day to read Ivan the Credibles reporting that The Wiz might be "GROOMING WES UNSELD JUNIOR FOR THE JOB!!!"

More specific please! Cuz the organization has been grooming Wes unseld SENIOR for the last 15 years! Not to be coach. Just grooming him. It is DCs least popular intern position! It takes 5 interns to bath wes senior: 3 to hold him still, one to scrub, and one to drive to PETCO to get more shampoo! No we kid big wes cuz we love him and also we love him best when he's retired from coaching

Now We Know Mr Drummond loved Willis most of all, and that Abe has mad loyalty for his adopted 1st son Wes Unseld but unless your last name is Tequila you dont get a trophy for having a friend in this world. Abes mind must be riddled with nostalgia.

What is his thinking, that Wes Unseld Jr can capture the coaching magic of his dad?

The magic of a 202-345 record and a magician who only got the job in first place because he had a school bus license????

Is this part of a master plan to create Bullets: The Next Generation?

Are the wiz gonna blow up the team to clear space to go after Ledell Eackles Junior in 2010???

Hey memo to Wizards, this is an NBA team, not the Muppet Babies!!!!

You cant build a winner by building a team that REMINDS YOU of a winner!

Or maybe we should! !!!
MAybe we should go all in, go get Mitch's boy Max Kupchack! Sure hes only 9 but he could walk on and lead this joint is assists. Make Manute Bol Jr head of Public Relations! Get Nils Lofgren Jr to cut a hit song! Put Juwan Howards 28 year old daughter in charge of player hygeine. her name is "Maxine" - he named her after his contract!

Or while we on this run like Logan, why not just dial the clock all the back????

Move back to Landover!

Get the old boys back, teach Nick Young how real men play Connect 4!!

You know Cheniers itching to play, plus hes already right there courtside, and most nights hes wearing his mesh shorts and Pony hightops under the scorers table. Go get The Big E to trade his badge for one last shot at a title. Bring back the 10 cent half smoke, Hoops the Mascot, bring back Robin Ficker, and the Free Dunkin Yo-Yo Night! Have dudes just playing for their city and for their love of the game and for their per diem.

ANd do whatever it takes to get Susan O'Malley back. Thats #1 priority. Give her a Lord and Taylor Black Card and send her to Alexandre de Paris de Fair Oaks Mall for a championship perm. (Only 3 people get that last joke!! can one of them please explain it to us????)

SO In the spirit of Abe Pollin and His Wayback Machine:

Its "The Fat Lady SIngs"!!!
The Radio Documentary of the 78/79 championship season narrated by Werner "FRANK" Herzog, only available until now on LPs found at Glover Park garage sales!!!!!!

Well we got this record for many years now. When you play it backwards it says "Greg Ballard is an Albino" over and over!!!!!

So we have cracked out our Akai tape2tape and made a smash old school cut, cobbling together bits of the soft-funk that hides deep in the soundtrack like Big Oily in a box score!!

We present wizznutzz exclusive:

"HANGIN WITH THE BULLETS: The Fat Lady's Funk Remix!!!!"

(or is it "TAKE IT WITH A BULLET"??)


Or just DOWNLOAD the whole damn LP right here!

And visit God Shammgods mixtape for Nils Lofrgen's "Bullets Feve"r all the freshest throwback jamzzz!

Labels: , , ,

posted by wizznutzz