Sunday, November 26, 2006
What happened during our holiday break???? Did the Wiz run the table? AWESOME!! While Bullets were proving to the league that they are a 57 win team, Wizznutzz made festive centerpiece and feasted on BLack Thanksgiiving, scarfing a huge, deep-fried wilturken -- he's tasty once you cut off the fat!!!
Then WizzNutzz interns spent Black Friday in the Circuit City stockroom, smuggling PS3s and Wii's out the back door. (Ken accidentally took repeated utterings of "I'll have a Wii" to be an invitation to urinate all over the place, and his bright yellow shrapnel hit a stack of Clipse CDs!!! Now Hell Hath No Fury is not only long overdue, it smells like rotten celery!!!!)
But we managed to screen grab this shot & blowup of Agent Zero's latest tattoo: But we can't read what it says, but that due mayeb to fact WE CANT READ!!! Read this out loud because there's a chance someone close to you can't. THANK YOU, now give me 10 cents so I can get off at Wheaton station!!!!
It looks like it says "Shorty" or "Invitro", but maybe it says "AGENT ZERO" but maybe that's wishful dreaming. Or maybe the tattoo says "I will buy WizzNutzz.com for One Million Dollars so I can control the Takeover, my pain, my gain, my brain on fire with desire to roll a tyre, british spelling is so hottt. And I will throw in 2 pairs of Gil Zeros (size 12)," but maybe that's just wishful peeing!!!!
(A nice change it is too for all these years the broadcast controlled us! Whenever we did take one look into big blank stares of Phil Chenier and hear his hypnospeak and next u know, we are in the office with blisters on hands and the mysterious 7-ft pile of mulch on the floor.)
But now the clowns have become the ringmasters and we are the puppetmasters!! and realize our long dream of having our arms way up the backside of Steve Buckhantz putting our own things in his puppet mouth! He is like Senor Wences but with a weaker chin!
Look, we know we have showed great influence on Wizards community before:
like when when we got Mace Webber freed
or when we get Civil Union legislation to include Mascot provisions:
or when we get Christopher Hitchens to drive Duckwagon on edutainment charity stops (i know u say it was "community service" but edutainment is edutainment son)
and sometimes were even a bit underhanded like when we got word of fight between CHico DeBarge and Rod Strickland and we got examiners office to change official explanation of Rod's badly bruised buttocks to "slipped in shower" (NOT SAFE FOR WORK!)
But even with all these this new power is most intoxicating, we feel higher than SkyDog!!!!!!!
The takeover is going so fast we have to catch our breath, and then we call emergency meeting of our takeover team and we gather "Financial""Legal" and "Penal" and they tell us to hold our mules because this is 2-edged sword and the takeover is at a delicate stage right now, "like a half-smoke balancing on a razor's edge" Penal says to us.
They say that when Gilbert went all Robin Hood with the TSHirts that he did 2 things:
he gave major boost to BRAND profile but at same time by flooding market with 20,000 free cheaply made Agent Zero Tees he dramatically undermined the brands commercial futures!!!
aka NO HONEYMOON IN HAITI THIS YEAR, NO BIG BITE OF THE MONTH CLUBZ, AND SORRY GARBOT 2000, NO TICKLE ME ELMO EXTREME, shaved or no shaved!!!!!!!!
But we are calm bcuz this isnt the first time WIzznutzz hjave had to deal with severe product oversuppliez.
In 1998 world cheered when we introduced a Boot That Makes Cheese and soon we get email from a man called "Qusay" who says he represent a foreign governemtn and is excited to spend 10 million of humantiarian aid on buying Ike Austin cheeseboots for every sinlge one of his countrys people so they may all have dignity and breakfast. He was very friendly and we were excited to see dream of solving world hunger through our podiatric miracle "one step at a time(TM)". Qusay told us he is definitely good for the money and of course we trust him because his IM name is "CourtneyalexanderManskillz27"!!!! OMG right!!
SO we fill order and next thing we know ew get visit from man called UDAY who says he is brother of Qusay (but is not nearlky so nice as his brother) and UDay says to us "I belive that my brother made an arrangement with you that he did not have an authority to make. When he tells me of plan to "squish curds under our heels for good" there is a misunderstanding. There will be no order for the boots and there will be no money for you. Is that a mothering hut? Very nice. I have the new model. The interior - very terrifying."
SO now we have 40,000 Ike Austin CHeeseBoots in warehouse with no home. How do you get rid of such things? Then we remember man we meet in ladies bar in Tiajuana, and Australian man called "Vince" who says he disposes of things. He was very aggravated for an aussie, like a young disturbed Lindsey Gaze, and said he was a boat Captain and showed us steely eyes and steelier hand gun. SO we call Vince and he says "no worries you blokes pay me and Ill take the cheesboots off your hands".
Next thing we know: dead bottlenose dolphins washing up all over the place with noses stuck in waterlogged cheeseboots!!!!
they say conatiner of boots "accidentally" fell overboard and next thing we know girls from PETA are throwing raw CHUM at Ike Austin during complete package spokesperson appearance at The Donyell Marshall Autism Benefit Golf Game (Slogan: "Hey guys, I damn told you I dont have autism! (TM)")
But its all good. Because We love Gil. Hes our goddamed Hero!!!
We been here a long long time and seen alot a things. We were here for Brevin Knights first steps and Steve Blakes first (forced) kiss and we were here for Llorenzo Williams last steps. Losing years on years makes you feel like the dumbest soldier in the the bunker when everyone else is running out but they told you to stay and wait to pay the Atari repair man, and when that bunker is the Cap Centre and your dreams get blown up and then from the ashes rises a new baby bird of hope and hes in the nest with you and you watch him get strong and when its time to fly he jumps out of the nest you yell: "FLy ! Fly! Remember to always fly high and dont trust the squirrels!"
and he turns to you as he wobbles brilliantly over the hedge and he yelled
"BUT WHO AM I??"
"You are AGENT ZERO and you are a mighty sparrow!!!!"
And then he is gone. ANd We cant follow. We will never leave this nest. Not even though we know the ground down below holds in it the bacon that wriggles. Butr we always will be by your side , even if no one notices us. Like Philip Bailey next to Phil Collins because
Yeah, Zero is a wonderful thing. In fact, Zero is my hero!
How can Zero be a hero?
Well, there are all kinds of heroes, you know. A man can get to be a hero For a famous battle he fought... Or by studying very hard And becoming a weightless astronaut.
And then there are heroes of other sorts, Like the heroes we know from watching sports. But a hero doesn't have to be a grown up person, you know, A hero can be a very big dog Who comes to your rescue, Or a very little boy who's smart enough to know what to do.
Meanwhile, we are trying to think what to do with 20,000 Agent 0 shirts!! We could ball em up and stick in the high school fence to spell stuff, or we can use to strain pruno, or to muffle cries, or to make fake teen preganancy baby for panhandling, or to wipe deer blood out of Duckwagon upholstry.
Hop on the comments and tell us what u r doing with your Shirt!
Monday, November 20, 2006
HOLY TROUBLE WITH TRIBBLES!!! >UPDATED VERSION!!!! >>BACKBREAKER EDITION!!! First honorary intern Unsilent Majority has brill idea to have his Chinese peasant farm stop making low grade polypropelene G-Wiz costumes for one day in order to make da real bossman a personalized hoodie with AGENT ZERO declaration!!! Nice 1/2 megapixel photo, Unsi!!
Then during Saturday night's blowout win (aka The Night Cleveland's Shannon Brown Drove Ol' Dixie Hayes Down, Till the Bells Were Ringing), we couldn't believe our eyes: AGENT ZERO t-shirts were everywhere!! Or at least on pasty white people!!!! The Takeover has done taken us over!!!! What in the name of Abe Pollin's prostrate is going on here?!?!?! DIdn't Verizon Centre check with David Patton office before printing up copyright infringements for all the world to see?!?! WizzNutzz trademarked that name in a late night, under the table deal with Gilbert at City Place Mall video arcade, sealed by a cutting session and bleeding all over Silver Spring Astroturf Park. Granted, Ken was already at park lacerating himself with no knowledge of Gentleman's Deal between Gil and WizzNutzz primaries -- "I think the new name is Agent Zero. Oh that's hot. Whoever made that 'Agent Zero' up gets a percentage" -- but a bloody deal's a bloody deal, even if Ken's haemoglobin levels are so low that his blood is more a muddy chartreuse than crimson red!!!
Can somebody who went to the game explain this outrage? Our lawyer, Lionel Hutz, is standing by!!!!
Meanwhile, our sincere best wishes go out to the good Constable Hayes, whose annual RITE OF FALL was just that tonight. It was a scary sight to see you lying there, and then taken out on stretcher -- and yes, we saw you wipe away tears. To answer your question, "If I started crying, would you start crying?" Yes, Jarvis, yes. In fact, Ken was crying well before the game even began because his cilice belt had slipped into his crotch (again).
Lying there, you must have felt like a piece of the past was caught in your throat -- and then you choked. But here, it's more than love, it's less than love -- it's what the WizzNutzz give to you: moisture, good touches, bacon.
It's been a tough two years for the Wizard's finest officer of the law. He's been caught in time so far away from where our hearts and cracked knees really wanted to be, and he's reaching out to find a way to get back to where he'd been. But oh, if summer left him dry, with nothing left to try, this time.... Jarvis, we have learned sometimes a need can run too deep, and we throw away the things we most wanted to keep, and inside we lie over and over again... If you don't know, you'd better learn to believe us when we say we're going to build a wall around this town, around these hearts and hands -- and you shall heal.
Be well, Constable, be well.
Update:Jar Jar released from hospital, bruised butt healing with help of Dana's magic balm: 1 leaf of aloe plant, 1 can of bacon puree, 1/2 cut of spit, 1/2 cup of "secret sauce."
Friday, November 17, 2006
A Postcard arrived for US today at Circuit City!!!!
Hullo to my friends!
I miss you so all and when Im seeing that you are all so well and have "exploded" so big like a Big Bang Dana always talking about would happen!!
Please be sure and hit my friend Ken with the steel brush for me!!! Please to see Wizards playing hard like statue erections of Sïnebrychøff Museum. But why now Ronaldo Balkman allowed all the points he has for our defense? I love him in band "The Cameo", he is "just like the candy" when sold all the tickets on one day because FInland magazine tells people of his shiny cod piece and for finland only best talents allowed cod flesh on costumes. But playing basketball?
For me and life it goes on many ways since I wave you off on the 2:15 RîdeOn bus those months away now. From being the intern for an American internet, it opens doors and possibilities I cant even expect!
This summer I help as "counsel" at Jyvåskylå 'Mixed Pickles' Youth Camp where our motto was for english mouths "Tomorrow's Ennui Starts Today!" I even play in camp band. I blow my mouth on the biggest shiny fagotti in whole band!!!
Then when camp finish after summer I go back to Kokkola to help my uncle with his fishing. It was tired working! It is because Finland has ban for net fishing now to let fish come back and fill Baltic like mice babies in my beard. Is MUCH harder to catch fish with my hands! I remind me of Calvin Booth with my head in ice feeling for groupers!
But then I get wonderful job with people of theatre calling them the "Tap Dogs"!! They are from "Oz" and are men, not Wallaby! Haha! They dance with energy and in denim and dance in leather boots with no laces! WHo hears of such a thing, is more exotic even than spaghetti for me! I have important job of rubbing the dance boots with seal fat to turn them supple and willing like emotions of young child.
Then one morning I am woken and told I have been hired by aarisëlka Secret Police or I am arrested by aarisëlka Secret Police, I am not told which of them! But they are Secret Police right!! Shhhhh! But only last week I am brought before the Paàllikkð and I am told I am being sent home because they find I work on a blog and is not safe for me to do this!!! Imagine!!! Are they thinking Michael Adams is spy for Lapland??!!! That one is good! I know Michael Adams wear trechcoat all times but is not because spy, is as he tells me, is for sound of "swish" that satisifies him to hear folds of London Fog rubbing on thighs as naked as nature which is a feeling across all boundaries and lands not for one country for secrets!
Sigh. SO I am bound back in home as long cruel winter setting in and my mind is black and slow like wood tar and you know a feeling of dreaming things when awake? I am alone and in my bad times i am swearing I see The very Groke from Moominvalley who is your American Grimace from USA but is TRUE 'Grimace', like woeful mascot for all the nordic sadness. And when Groke tells to me "now you will cut own thighs with the tool now you will Jaarko" I know I must think of my friends then and happiest times and think about them hard and I think of my very favorite pensive creatures, the Moomintroll and the Chris Webber and their small magical forearms and I make a wallpaper for my friends from Reindeer skin and love that is the small flame danceing in my oil lamp when im staring at flame with my eyes big and red becasue like flame if I go out I never will come back.
Team getting burned by half-man half-vaginasailor pleather threepee bricks...
and even Someone is cheating on the Hustle Board (OK I know when Rod Strickland cheated it was "The Torpor Board" and he wuz erasing Calbert Cheaneys steals using pieces of salami, but its same thing basically)
But one thing is gathering fresh steam:
The WIZZNUTZZ/AGENT ZERO TAKEOVER!!!!
AND NOW TOPPS HAS FALLEN IN LINE!!!
Wow! like Dana when waking up sore in the trunk of Bram Weinstein's Fiero we r excited but not suprised!!
We were more suprised to see Topps on board for our earlier, less successful grand plan:
"THE GREAT JEJUNE"
"ENCHANTED HANDS"!!!!!!!
I couildnt believe it when it flashed on my computer from August Strindberg's special RSS Feed!!!. The Stringberg Feed is like other feeds except that it also turns your computer into a 1982 TI-994A with counterfeit Soviet motherboard that smells of sour dairy and attempts to poison itself every 15 minutes!
Sunday, November 12, 2006
Intern August Strindberg has never felt close to anyone in his life -- until tonight. His beloved Steve Buckhantz had a meltdown at the end of the game this evening: yelling about the 5-second rule on the final inbound play, not to mention his conniptions over numerous calls or noncalls that didn't benefit the Bulletz. Plus, Buck's despondent "BACKBREAKER!" scream when Vinpenisity hit the 3-pointer as time expired -- even though there was a whole overtime session for the Wizz to pull out the game -- gave August the second boner of his life. (The first came when his mother, Ulrika Eleanora Norling, placed him in a dry well and washed him with hot bacon fat.)
We would have video excerpts to support Strindberg and Buckhant'z depression, but the game was shown locally on NewsChannel 8, which Wheaton Circuit City bans due to excess frontal nudity during 2004-2005 season, so we have no TiVo tape. Instead, read our old tale of The Brothers Grimm and please view the photo below from the first game of this 2006-2007 season -- this was shot before the game even started!!! This image perfectly illustrates the violent darkness that pervades the mulched souls of the Wizards' annoucers: Phil is even giving Buck the finger!
Now, on to August's incites!!!!
Dodsdansen!
When they say Christ descended into Hell, they mean that he descended to earth, this penitentiary, this madhouse and morgue of a world -- this phone booth of death. For murder does not come from a phantomous 5-second call on a 7-second inbound -- ah, 7 seconds is all it takes for an atomic explosion or a New Wind to blow our bones to dust.
Nor does sweet release come from a gratuitous man-slap in the paint while in the act of lifting one's balls to the rim -- for gratuity is all a man can ask for when two palms of dilapidated flesh wrap themselves around an orange latex orb, thrusting toward a puckered hole that is small and angry, with no gliding force to ease its transition from light to darkness, to pleasure and pain, such pain, such pain....
For a fleeting second, when the Sciuridae Fearer took a charge from Tha Carter, I felt something long lost. It wasn't joy -- never. Yet, it was not nonjoy. Alas, happiness consumes itself like a flame. It cannot burn for ever, it must go out, and the presentiment of its end destroys it at its very peak.
So, lo, from the depths of my fetid overcoat, I smell this loss more deeply than I do the rat skulls who have nested deep inside my own. From this recondite view inside Norra Begravningsplatsen, I can examine moss and metal, stone and sulfur, penury and punishment. The rotted rhizomes of this loss will spread beneath this team's frozen soil like a viral death march. Let the season end before it ever begins, is it ever thus.
I desiderate darkness, surely, but on my own terms. Joey Crawford, you of the polished pate, the tempestuous temper, the Oedipal eyes -- you have brought such night to my life, such blackened sky to my soul. When a man has come back from so many points that he must use his teammates' hanging digits to properly count the amount, you should pity him, praise his efforts, caress his hands, and clean his wounds like the nurse maiden who once dressed me up in gauze and lit me afire. But, no. Once the ladder has been climbed, and the abacus put away for all is even, a man opens his eyes and sees...nothing. For you, Joeth, are a blindfold for hope in the waning seconds, a desert for the thirsty, a venomous snake for the perpetually bitten. May you be slapped with a double technical in the game of life.
Why is it so painful to watch a person sink, or a team flounder like this morning's poisoned catch? Because there is something unnatural in it, for nature demands personal progress, evolution, and every backward step means wasted energy.
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Its a long season and the NBA tries to keep fans interested in the early going with novelty stunts like "throw back" nights, where teams don retro jerseys when they take the floor. But this is growing older than half-smoke fridays at the Strickland household. SO wizznutzz propose the league introduce...
"Throw Back Coaches Nights"
where today's sideline sarges bust out the old school duds from back in the day. Lets look at some of the possibilies:
Bernie Bickerstaff
Bernie cut a Bella Figura before he became the Butterstuff we know today! This mod double-breasted number is fitted, cold, cool, continental and was bigger in the clubs than a Salsoul 12 inch!
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Hubie Brown
Since he took a post as a Dementor guarding Hogwarts, most of us don't associate Hubie Brown with hi-fashion. Here Hubie makes hard work look like leisure, with patent leather shoes, black polyester waders and a keen double knit safari suit with vintage tapestry and beige-on-beige overstitching. Is Hubie coaching a team or 'Takin It To The Streets' front row at a Doobie's show?!
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Ray Scott
I didn't know Don Cornelius had a day job! Ray is a sideline soul brother number 1 with his floral print lapels and muscle fit zoot cut from poor man's denim and adorned with fashionable military epaulets. Dig that medallion! You cant see his feet but no doubt Sugar Ray is togged to the bricks in late-model Dingos, the only boot for the trend-conscious black athlete.
[One of those Dingo Kids grew up to be... Washington Bullets own Andrew Gaze! Boom goes the Wallaby!] . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Doug Collins
The Alex P Keaton blue blazer and power tie say "I don't follow the rules, I make them" while the cuban heels and perm tell the world "I'm a greasy yes-man!"
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Pat Riley
Riles' sports the popular early 80s Cuban-American look known locally as "Import/Export." The way the hi-lux chalk-stripe fitted silk dress shirt struggles against his tanned brute chest suggest the shifting fortunes of survival and success for the young immigrant South Beach coke dealer. As an NBA coach, Riley is like Diego Maradona: he has The Hand of God -- and The Nose of Tony Montana!
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Lenny Wilkins
Nobody loved a chicken-skin suit more than Lenny 'Grey Poupon' Wilkins! Its a crying shame the NBA banned them. And assistant coach Kurt Vonegut don't look so shabby his own damn self!
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Phil Jackson
The Zen Master really knows how to coordinate! The blousy charcoal suit is all business, but the colorful tie is spalshed with tropical happiness, and says "Fun!" Though the trend has moved elsewhere for now, ties likes this will continue to provide a little stripe of joy to our lives, right up until Paula Poundstone uses one to hang herself.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Eddie Jordan
No thats not a gym towel around his neck, it's a giant butterfly party collar boasting Redskin burgundy and gold and the wingspan of Manute Bol at a roadside sobriety test. Eddie has said if he wasn't a coach he would be a school teacher, like a black Gabe Kaplan!
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Jack Ramsey
Loud and proud! Before the NBA had fashion turned on its head by Dennis The Meance, styles ran more Mr. Wilson! Ever since he was a boy, Jack knew what he wanted to be when he grew: an angry old bastard! In these motel interior caddyshack slacks, it's no wonder Parade Magazine once name C.I.L.F. Ramsey one of America's 50 Most Stylish Seniors - when he was only 19!
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Larry Brown
But no one was a fashion pionner like Off-Broadway Brown!
"Oh where did all those yesterdays go?? "
We pulled just a small sample from his magic closet:
Rainbow striped sweater! It's gayer than Tom Selleck in a razor commercial! Larry looks like he's directing a production of Godspell!
Larry dressed to meet Bianca and Liza for the postgame at Studio 54! With his satin mural print shirt, and dramatic Maximo loon pants, Coach is more eager than Steve Rubell snuffing blow off the culo of a naked mexican busboy!
Larry puts the "man" back in Manilow! Sure the broad cloth collar was big with the Yacht Rock crowd at the time, but this practically screams "Ahoy Califonia Vagina Sailors!" And the extra-snug, quilted denim jeans reveal that Larry has always been "under the cap."
Finally, this patchwork Marlo Thomas jumpsuit begs the question:
Brenda Haywood, you insolent dinosaur, you somnabulent horse whisperer, you desperate tragedy wench!!!!!! Ba Ba whines about losing starting job to Jah Jah Etanfari, and then he has his sniveling agent make some wimpering noise about respect and fair shakes and how Hay Hay loves to wear pink panties but that he's still tough and fair and willing to play for the Bobcats as long as Salieri "coaches me up like a mule." BIZZZATCH!
It's time to trade Brenda Haywood for Party John Ramos, no. 9 draftpick of the Idaho Stampede. Party John may not have a North Carolina pedigree or any basketball skills, but he knows where people throw down Long island Ice teas and gyals wine dem waists to dem dutty dutty soundz!!! Plus he's got huge soft hands and the ability to say, "Good Job, Etan" from the third row while wearing a suit. Stonehands Haywood has never said anything nice to Etan other than, "I own a cassette copy of Legend. It's average."
Until Brenda is driven out of town on on the back of a mule named Karla Knapfel, WizzNutzz will endeavor to document every sour puss that the cretinous cauliflower makes while watching Tan Tan put up double-doubles in losing efforts!!!
Here's Pinky Pantyther during the opening game vs. Cleveland, looking like somebody just told him he'd have to shave Michael Ruffins' balls at halftime.
And here's Hay Hay Me Me I I Wee Wee during the Orlando game last night, watching Etan Thomas, the mothereffin' poet, pull down 15 johhn y rebs, score 14 anna kornikovas, and cock block 6 sergei federovs!!!! I think he donated money to 17 charities during the timeouts, too!!! Dear Brenda, Thanks for the support & glowing attitude tonight, you pink child!!! Your 8 minutes of gameplaye rendering 0 points, 0 rebs, 0 blocks, and dozens of turtled penises really helped the team!!!
One final note for the refs: Orlando Magician Carlos Aaroyo has got more flops than Ben Affleck!! In Bill Cosboy "Buck Buck" terms, when somebody hits you lightly on court you should say,"What was that, a mosquito? It felt like a piece of paper" -- and yet Karl Arroyo jumps to the ground like somebody stunn gunned him. FLOPHOSUE!@!!! He's got drunk mickey mouse living in his backside and destitute Donald Duck borrowing money from his soul.
So awesome to be back at the Circuit City watching a fresh season eagerly and awkwardly unfold like Manute Bol emerging from a RideOn! I had forgotten they joys of Antwans mouse-in-gluetrap defense, and forgotten how fantastically large is Jarvis Hayes head! Him and Jonas must have been like Punch and Judy in hi skool!
But mostly I forgot how much I hate Cleveland!!! How I hate LeBron clapping mitts in a cloud of chalk like hes at the Gymkata auditions and the perfectly oblong choclaty goodness of eric snows milk dud head and the way Varajeos greasy dog hair tussles to and fro like the tips of a pine tree when you are trying to shake out the racoon eggs (they say racconns dont have eggs but thats why they are so valuiable!) and i forgot how greedy and streaky and scrappy Larry Hughes aka Cold Mountain's game is. He picks up his points cheap n easy like a kid snatching loose change off the street where it was scattered from the pockets of an old man who was just hit by a car.
And i forgot how much i hate the whole city of cleveland. SO you got LeBron james big deal hes only special because you have absolutely nothing else in your city to be proud of. I got a live wombat in my basement since last christmas but im not selling tickets for it. All you got is Queen james and a population of cashed-up box factory managers, and the worlds largest pair of stain resistant khakis and a RACIST rock and roll "hall of fame" that celebrates old cracker rockers that stole their beats strictly cold skool from the black man. Every damn year MC Brains comes up for eleigibility and gets no votes!!!! Do the right thing cleveland, dOnt make MC Brains the Buck O'Neil of rock and roll Hall of Fame!!!
And I love how there is talk of Cleveland making finals! HAHAHAHAHAH. thats like all the talk of Eddie Jordan's "PRinceton " offense. Theres no princeton offense how many years we wtell you that?! YOu show me one video of a backdoor play or a bounce pass in lane or a big man with an assist or a whiteguy and Ill show you a video of Jim Lynam killing a horse with his bare hands! (yes i KNOW there is one already on youtube but that horse was obviously drugged)
Free Darko also said "Gilbert is the cuddliest gunner who ever was, [and] is waiting for the game to catch up to his reasoning" but Free Darko fondles Agent Zero with frontrunning paws - WITNESS: Free Darko tried to purchase the domain name from us "steveblakeupskirt.edu" in 2002!!!
While we wait for Agent Zero to find his game under the cushions of his couch we work hard on WebTV to make...
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
Brenda Haywood is whimpering because Tan Tan beat him out for starting center. Or more better, his pooptacular agent, Andy Miller, is covering for the pink-pantymaster and crapping out phrases like, "I'd like to seem him treated with the optimum level of respect, and that's not going to happen in Washington. I don't know how this situation is going to unfold." And the dinger von corporal klinger, "I don't know. Maybe [Eddie Jordan] has a problem with my clients."
SO TRU!!!
Coach Sharpie DOES have a problem with Chucky Atkins, Jared Jefferies, and Ancient Anthony Peeler -- all former Wiz who did not scarf a half-smoke so much as ssssssuck it!!! AND YET WZZNTZZ LOVE ALL WIZARDBULLETS EQUALLY AND WITHOUT MERIT!!! Come back, Mon Chi Chi!!!
Still... Job extension = EJ. Traded/released = Miller turds. Score one for the in-vitro farm!!!
Agent Brenda Scarn, seeing that his days on Fun Street are numbered like Tom Knott's days on earth (cholesteral + Moonies = BIG ONE ELIZABETH), has started a side business in conjunction with the VErizon Centre's (english spelling!!!) Executive Nachos stands: HAYWOOD'S HAY HAY ROG'S PINK PANTIES. Available in Steve Blake and Grannie panny sizes. Brenda Haywood's... ...favorite drink ...favorite movie ...favorite confession
