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Monday, October 30, 2006
Agent Zero and his zany wayz mentioned extensively on NPR's gameshow "Wait Wait Don't Tell Me" !!!!
First time a Wizard made NPR since Obinna Ekezie got glowing reviews for his "pompous irreverence" in the role of Pastor Ingqvist on Prairie Home Companion!!
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 Labels: Agent Zero, Gilbert Arenas
posted by wizznutzz
OUR FAMOUS MOTHERING HUT T-SHIRTS
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Sunday, October 29, 2006
ENORMOUS AGENT ZERO INCITE 2
SO it was just 2 weeks ago when Esquire had the greatest article ever about Agent Zero that stone cold blew our minds and just as we gathered our wits around us like 2-pair of Terry Davis gameworns Mike Wise delivers a very special Agent Zero profile that is maybe just the greatest sports writing ever written. Its even greater than More Than An Athlete, or Manute, Center Of Two Worlds, or Thing's I Learned From Jahidi or The Devil Wore Fubu and EVEN the Steve Buckhaantz Memoir "I Moved Your Cheese"
Its a big, ambitious, stunning, emotionally compelling incite supreme. The prose is turgid, even pliant. The tone is nuanceful. Even Tom Knott would have to lift his bloated face out of the bowl of soup and exclaim "Mike Wise can write like a possum baptising a thesaurus!"
Its a moving story about the bravery of a young Reagan-era crack baby who rose to the top with self-determination and the love of a father and its also the story of as young woman broken by addiction and regret. These arent the kind of things the wizznutzz make japes about. Ok well i guess we do, but when you think about your own mom doing "snow" or someother drug with a spooky 80s name and not being there for you well it just hangs in our guts like last weeks pom noisettes.
But are are some lighter moments to be found in the piece.
Including:
-We find Gilberts Dad was know by the soap set as "GIL THE THRILL"!!
-Gil was at the birth of his daughter! It wasnt a tom cruise scientology "Silent brith" but Gil did put his Halo game on mute!
-We finally meet "The Others", Gilberts mom of course and also his babys mama whose part Hawaiin and part litigious, and Gils Cuban cigar-rolling greatgrandpa called "Hippolito" which means Little Hippo, and Gilberts crazy Half-brother "BLUE" who wants to be a detective. A steel handgun in your jean-shorts pocket does not a Tubbs make. Keep an eye on Blue. Seriously.
-Gilbert spent last year ducking and weaving to avoid his girlfriends lawyers and the organization went ALL IN to protect him including recalling Gheorge Muresan to act as a suit spotter and giving Donnell Taylor a roster spot just so he could act like a Saddam Hussein style body double. Now I understand whay happened in the playoffs last year when Lebron slapped his hand on gilberts chest and gil blew the free throws he can normally make eyes wide shut. He missed em cuz he thought he was being served!!!
Like a dozen canadian burgers, its alot to swallow.
And we have already waited too long to comment on the Gilbert Arena ESquire article for some days. We just were not ready. You dont go into the Mothering Hut until you have burned your family photos and taken salt tablets. But now we are. Like Mike Wise looked into Agent 0's heart, we have looked into his mind. Everyones saying oh Gilberts plain crazy, hes HALO's Howard Hughes, but as wizards trainer and alternative healer Steve Stricker revelaed last year, Gilbert is an Indigo child, a WAYSHOWER and to understand his ways takes time and takes professionals, so we consulted mental professionals called "Analists"
"Oh I kow what an Analist is you say, thats like Tim Legler is a TNT Analist!!!! "
Yes maybe thats true but thats one kind of Analist. TLegzz is an Analist for sure!!. But Tleggz is also an orange and chino noise shark and he must use circular breathing and greenies to make nonstop noise for if he stops is his fear that he shall be forever silent. He is the anal wind floating in a bubble on the bathwater of Cable pre-gamezzz. TLegzz analisis is a relentless mating call into the void. Who is the mating call for I dont know and i dont want to know but I know that whatever it is it probably had 7-elevens Big Bites for lunch.
But the analists I am talking about are called "Psychoanalists" and follow from a man called Sigmund Freud.
WHo in Great Grevey's Ghost is Sigmund Freud?
Well hes only the father of psychoanalyisis which means he talked to his own penis ands his penis told him of the mysteries of mans desires. And he was the first ever "MILF Hunter"!!!
SO we talked to PsychoanalistsTM and they helped us break into the brain of Gilbert Arenas and when we got inside gilbert had left out a plate of canadian hamburgers and vitamin water for us because gilbert himself says "IM NOT QUIRKY!" and to prove it he handed out "No Quirks" necklaces made of Alphabits cereal at his weekly puppet show.
This is what we found:
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
He wants nothing more than the familiarity of running the stairs in his home arena--the skit-skit-skit of his feet on the cement treads, the bass line of his own breathing, the deep ache of muscles tested once more-until the hours have passed. He doesn't care what the clock says.
ANALISIS:
HYPERINTENTION
This means he wants to succeed so much and overcome his snubs that he is just trying too hard. He wants always to be better, so he trains and trains and doesnt even sleep and plots The Takeover and he is an insomniac and he even trains his dogs too hard because he suffers also from Hyperintention By Canine Proxy
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He is simply dealing with time. There is so much of it in the NBA. It's the thing that surprised him the most when he came into the league. There's practice at 1:00, there's a game at night, and that's it. Even though it's late, there are so many hours left to fill until he will find sleep on the couch in his bedroom that night.
The subject has a five-and-a-half-foot-tall safe in his basement full of jerseys of great NBA players past and present. They're all signed, too. Each of them is in a plastic bag, each numbered and cataloged.
The subject harbors plans to build a basketball court made of glass.
It is Wednesday, the day after movies are traditionally released on DVD, and the subject piles up purchases at a local video store. He collects with no particular agenda in mind. He's just hungry for more. He grabs the new releases first, two and three at a time, piling them against his chest like a stack of library books. He is not picky. On this day his haul includes The Libertine, The Matador, Basic Instinct 2, three submarine movies, a dance movie, two romances, and a handful of comedies. As the stack grows higher, he slows. How many does he plan to buy today? "I usually stop when I get to here," he says, holding a finger to his chin. He doesn't know when he will watch them, or even if he ever will. Back at home, in the supremely carpeted media room of his cozy, overcouched theater, he has a hard drive capable of holding more than ten thousand titles. Ask him and he'll tell you he wants them all. All the movies. Ever. "
ANALISIS:
SUBLIMATION
Sublimation is a coping mechanism for refocussing extra hiNRGs to other outlets. Gilbert can only do some much to work on his game so when hes still bouncing off walls he collects, he puzzles, he bowls and finds safety in objects.
In fact Gilberts entire basketball career is the product of sublimation. SInce first time he picked up a basketball and said "Are you my Mother?" gilbert has refocussed his energy from his pain into hoops. All his success is built on the broken ruins of his childhood.
A man called Frankl wanted to be a Mascot for the Roanoke Dazzle, but when team doctors discovered his allergy to flame-retardants he had to "SUMBLIMATE" his desires and so he became a famous psychologist and he believed that when we rush to do all these things at once its hiding attention from the "existential vacuum" and that we all fear the meaninglessness, the hole, the huge zero in our lives so we try and fill it with things and hobbies. We are all trying to fill our time. Frankl called it the "SUnday Neurosis" and Phil Chenier calls it "Breakfast"!!!
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Lately I've been dreaming I'm playing basketball on a desert island.
That's all there is on the island-just the court, water lapping right up to the edge of the blacktop. It's just water all out there. Deep. Then I notice there are fans out in the waves, circling us.
I was so depressed that I wasn't playing that I didn't want to go out. I'm gonna stay and do sit-ups or jumping jacks. And I'm not gonna come out. Not till morning. There's nothing out there for me. I don't know those cities. I don't know where to go. I don't have any people. Other guys will be out, the steak house, the clubs, just rollin'. Me, I'm fine. Time is falling off. Sun's coming up. I'm doing more sit-ups than the night before. I'll watch three or four movies. I'll watch infomercials.
ANALISIS:
SELF ESTRANGEMENT
Gilbert built his tent and made his couch and now he wants to sleep on it. He is Private Zero, he texts, he watches Bambi II, and if youre a lady keep your chips to yourself when the dealings done - don't be bringing those forced cuddles his way!! Some say this is strange but we say its ESTRANGE.
SO why then is Zero sequestering himself??
Its like he is quarantined but unlike Rod Strickland this quarantine doesn't involve Baileys Crossroads Center For Disease Control and a Chinese pork ban.
Why is Gilbert hiding himself away deeper than Calvin Booth in a box score???
Well for one thing he has been hiding from his girlfriends Lawyers.
But if you asked a man named Heidegger, who invented a magic 8 Ball you don't EVER want to shake, he will tell you that "self-estrangement" means agent zero is confronting the fears of an unauthentic life. An "unauthentic life" is when your have a public ego which is like the big billboard version of yourself outside the Verizon center, but inside you are wrestling with lifes banality, which is like wrestling with Awvee Storey but in your brain instead of the team bus.
Maybe you ask: what does "Banal" mean?
Well think of it like this:
Banal is to "Anal" what BMitch is to "Mitch".
Its is boringness and irrelevancy and bland.
Mister Freud's penis told him all men have 2 drives going on at same time fighting each other. There is THANATOS which is drive toward breaking apart all life, and there is EROS which is drive to stop that drive and live like a TruWarior. And then there is RAMOS, which is the slow pointless drive back to a Roanoke Best Buy.
The good newz is that by alienating himself Agent Zero is discovering and saying "yo whats up Malfoy"to the vanity and banality and zeroness all around him so that he can then return to an authentic full existence. And then he will GO ALL IN and dive back into the vagina and be reborn! (Sweet, I hope Chick Hearn does a Wizards Magazine on that!!!!)
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
It's the Cavs versus the Wizards all over again, except this time Gilbert has the Cavs. He knows every kink of NBA 2K6-and how to exploit it. He has shifted LeBron to guard and put his team in a game-long full-court press. He is playing against his video-game self and doesn't like the way John is using him. "You gotta get me square to the basket," he says as the Game Gilbert misses a shot from twelve feet. "You gotta get two point guards in there." There's a minute and a half left, and Real Gilbert is up by 191. Then Game Gilbert gets a steal and throws a long pass-only to have LeBron pick it off. "Sorry, Gilbert," says Gilbert. "You can't stop the King."
When I get a new cell phone, first thing I do is turn it off and call from my house phone and leave stupid little messages to myself. Like: "It's me." "It's me." "This is Gilbert." "It's me." "It's Gilbert."
ANALYSIS:
DISSOCIATION /
STOCKHOLM SYNDROME /
INVERTED NARCISSISM
There is more to choose from here than the Livestock Registry at COnstable Hayes' wedding!
Gilbert seems to have split off from himself. He talks to himself in third person and plays against himself in NBA 2K6. Dissociation is sometimes part of a personality disorder, like when there are many personalities in 1 body. This isnt the same as Jahidi Whites disorder which is no personalities in many bodies.
Why is Gilbert splitting off like this?
Well first clue is that he plays the role of LeBron james and torments himself. We all know from their last meeting that Queen james is a Crimson King and a nasty whore, and the dead baby that was still born into the toilet of A-ME!ME!ME!-RICAN consumerism and he is also a ritual abuser. Queen james slapped Agent Zero about and gave him LOW ALTITUDE ESTEEM and then gave him a flaming case of STOCKLHOLM SYNDROME.
Stockholm syndrome is when you sympathise or admire your tormentors. Its also known by other names as "Stolen bride Syndrome" and "Capture Bonding" and "Steve Blake".
As we say before, we have a Scandanavian intern Jarkko Ruuto and he says in Stockholm its just known as "The Syndrome" or "Anstalt Krakas" (Homesickness) and that the most popular holiday in Sweden (after Christmas and Last Day of the Ponies) is "Forkommen Sjal", a week "of stolen souls" where kids around Sweden line up to wait for department store Plagoande, who is a beloved skinny captor figure in olive trousers and black hood, and when your turn in the line comes, Plagoande takes you and blindfolds you and takes you into a back room and leaves you for a week at end of which you leave HIM a present. Happy Holidays! HIT ME!
Its just a survival strategy from Darwin days, like Manute Bol grew 8 foot tall so he could spot lions on the horizon and Mike Ruffin developed a fear of squirrels so he wouldnt play on electric lines, so gilbert attaches himself to the nearest powerful person thinking even if he is humiliated he will be protected
This behavior could also be an example of something they call "INVERTED NARCISSISM" this is someone who craves the company of narcissists and LeBron James is narcissist second only to Salieri Jordan. Wizznutzz have our name for "invereted narcissists" as you well know:
MULES!
Christian Laettner, MULE!
Coach Collins, MULE!
Charles Oakley, MULE!
Leonard hamilton, MULE
Ty Lue, DONKEY!
Gilberts disconnectedness may also be the result of his close relationship with his Pops. They are both a bit nutso and competitive and their lives together are a "follies a deux" (madness in twosome). Gilbert says he is his dad and his dad is him and dad gives him love but man is it some tuff love:
Since I was small my dad and I have always been friends. He was never really hard on me. He never really pushed me to basketball. It was like, "Dad, can I play?" And he straight told me, "You suck. You're not good enough for this team! You can sit over there and be my assistant coach." So I used to get teased all the day, and when he leave I used to go practice by myself. And then one day I had the opportunity to prove him wrong and I did. From there, it's always competition, no matter what; video games, dominoes...
The first name he brings up every time: Dwyane Wade. "Well, did you see what Dwyane Wade did tonight? Dwyane Wade has four dunks, three reverse lay-ups, if you was talented like him..." and I'm like "Man!" And I'll be like, "Dad, are you going to come to any of the games?" He's like, "No. You guys are playing the Bobcats and the Grizzlies. I'm gonna come when Dwyane Wade comes to town or Kobe."
Hamslam! You think when Gil Sr. tells his son about how he hit a dinger in the weekend softball game that Gil Jr is like "Big deal, I bet Pat Morita hit 2" or when Sr. invited Jr to his wedding thats coming up, Gilbert is all like, "Maybe Ill come. is Phillip Michael Thomas gonna be there? You call me when you are getting married and Tubbs is gonna show"
Gilbert idolizes dad so much and wants to follow his examples. just look at how now Gilberts having kids of his own and hes breaking his back to make sure they are raised properly by 2 single parents! And Sr is jealous i guess since he has always been in his sons shadows, even when Gilbert was only two, he would still help dad get handouts and hand___s from strangers!
And now dad is playing adult-sibling rivalry but even worse he compares Gil to Wade so its Adult Rival-Rivalry! No wonder Gilbert is confused.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
FREUDS PSYCHOSEXUAL STAGES OF DEVELOPMENT
aka
AGENT ZERO AND THE PLAIN BROWN WRAPPER
Dr Freud was most famous of all his incites for his Five Stages of "Psychosexual" Development (though if he had lived long enough to see Wes Unseld he would have added so many more.)
It is like Gilbert is going through all these stages at once right now:
On the road, I eat hamburgers every day. The team tries to get me to eat differently, but no. Burgers, burgers, burgers. I like burgers. McDonald's burgers. Wendy's burgers. Burger King burgers. There's this one place in Canada--I even look at the schedule to find out when we play there--best burger I've ever tasted. Real soft and sweet. I ate twelve of them in one night.
ANALISIS:
STAGE ONE: ORAL STAGE
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I'll watch infomercials. The last thing I bought was this colon cleanser. I just got talked into it. I'm like, Man, he makes it sound so good.
ANALISIS:
STAGE TWO: ANAL STAGE
Freud was an assman no doubt, but anal stage is about actions not satisfactions. When a baby is learning to use the potty he has to learn to control his urges and so if you are an adult you are "Anal" if you are trying too much to control and are fussy and organised and uptite which Agent Zero is Mister TidyBowl in this way. But buying a colon cleaner could mean that Gil suffers from something much scarier:
SHIT SHAME!
Shit shame is a very serious condition. Lots of celebrities have it. They clean ass like no ones business. If you live in LA its how you deal... your character got written out of Joey? Call the plumber! What are reasons for this fecal loathing? Some think its cause caca reminds man of his mortality and that he is rotting and decrepid and they get "corporeal terror" . Maybe they have point. I mean we all like bacon but have you seen bacon after its spend hard time in the Bacon Tomb??
And Some think it reminds us of our impurity and badness like gastric smut.
For celebrities like Howie Mandel or janet jackson the unwelcome reminders of privy netherpongs threaten to collapse the very simulacra that is fame and fashion.
Gilbert wouldnt be the first Washington baller to be worried about his bowels.
In the late 70s coach Gener SHue was super obsessed with his teams bowel movements. He would run about like Dr kellogg himself and made everyone eat fiber and prunes, and was determined to get all the players "regulation size and weight".
On recent Classic Sports feature on Gene Shue Bobby Dandridge said:
"People would say coach was a fanatic and he was a little crazy, sure. During road games he would come into our hotel rooms first thing and check the toilets for stool purity. He would carry his lineup card with him and if you moved a healthy stool you would get your minutes. After practices, he would make us all run wind sprints and we couldnt stop until Wes Unseld produced a robust turd on the sideline. Even in the offseason he wouldnt let up. He would scout colleges looking for a "Natural 2" and he would take all the big men on these weekend retreats into the woods to bond. They called themselves "The Brotherhood of the Low Post." But we were winning and in sports if you are a crazy man who wins they call you a genius."
But I dont really think Gilbert has any of these worries. He says he just got talked into it. And I believe that. Who talked him into it? Ill tell you who. Does anyone remember the infomercial about 5 years ago for a product called "Fat Absorb"??? In informercial, is a fake interview with a spokesman for Fat Absorb and this man looks like the blood has been drained out of his body he is like a pale cloaca ghoul and he says that Fat Absorb binds to the fat in foods meaning you dont get fat in your body but the fat comes out the back in lipid stools aka you get BUTTA drawers. Just so wrong all about.
This mans name????
ROGER MASON!!!!!!
and now his son ROGER MASON JR plays for the wizards!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
You know how I always throw my jersey into the stands after a game? In Washington, they just go crazy for it. So in this commercial, that's what I'm gonna do with my shoes. I've just hit a game winner, and I throw these shoes. Everyone starts to react, and you see everything in slow motion. Everyone's pushing, shoving, doing whatever it takes to try to get to these shoes. People from the 400 level, they're jumping off the ledge, they're missing the pile, hitting nothing but chairs, and you can just see in people's faces like, Ooooh, that hurt. While all this stuff's going on, one of the shoes pops out of the crowd, and a little girl gets it and she takes off. A couple of people see she has it, and they start chasing her, and she's looking back running-and then she gets clotheslined by a kid in a wheelchair. So he picks the shoe up and says-he's gonna have the only line in there-"They said I couldn't get it. Heh. Impossible is nothing." And then he rolls off.
I just started sleeping in this bed after three years. I used to sleep over there... I trained myself to sleep on the couch... I don't like women all up on me, touching me. So I get up and go.
ANALISIS
STAGE 3: PHALLIC STAGE
The phallic stage is when your penis gets angry and tells you to give beat downs to other guys. This stage is what happens in a famous thing called "Oedipus COmplex" where you secretly want to sleep with your mom and stab your dad - yeah weve all been down that road, but for gilbert it was flipped upside down on its head cuz his mom abandioned him he wanted to hurt his mom and sleep with his dad in his dads mazda.
This Hos down Gs up attitude is for girls called ELECTRA COMPLEX and is whats going on when gilbert rolls away from his lady onto the couch so he can dream about being a cripple who decks a young girl. And its whats happening when Gilbert gives his dad a Maybach from Memoirs of a Geisha but he gives Maggie Foster, the woman who raised him, the Toyota from Bumfights!
Electra Complex is not to be mistaken with Medusa COmplex which is what Marv ALbert had when went about biting the prostitutes.
Gilbert also might have a problem called
THUMPER COMPLEX
We all know Gilberts favorite movie is Bambii, because he probably identifies with Bambi losing her mom and being alone but the pain is so much he imagines himself not as Bambi but as the hyperactive purple rabbit cackling safely in the bushes
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
We have a couple of players who are very aggressive, like Awvee Storey. You know, when you have aggressive people, they have to relieve some of that. And I'm one of those people. I don't care--I wrastle. Wrestling. Hurting. I'll bite, punch him in the side. I'll say, Look, you punch me in the stomach once, I'll punch you in the stomach once. We'll see who falls on the floor first. It's like: No punching in the face. No chest and ribs. We don't hurt each other. I mean, a couple of rug burns here or there. I remember one day, he laid on top of me and was pinching my nose so hard that it bruised. For two days, it was just burgundy. He was calling me Rudolph. Me and him, we can't be in the same room. Our personalities clash because he's a bully and I don't like being bullied by anybody.
ANALISIS:
STAGE 4: LATENCY PERIOD
Freud said this stage of Latency is when boys are getting sex thoughts and repress their desires by putting all their energy in nonsexy things like sports and man wrestling. Its a very healthy way of burning out your steam. Imagine if George Bush could just get in the cave with Osaama Bin Laden and just wrestle it out? When Li Peng manuevered tanks into Tianamen Square he might as well have been writing "Hold Me" in shaving cream on a Grevey's rest room mirror. So its very natural to have some Argey Bargey with another boy, or hose him down in the stall. Its just the slow, open, turgid dance of the machosensual.
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and that brings us to Freuds last stage:
STAGE 5: THE GENITAL STAGE
Ding DOng! This is the healthy good stage Gilbert is growing into now. Its the Final Boss. Its is the stage where you dont focus just on you but on everyone around you. Its looking to pass the rock. Its All In. When Bill Walton says its important "to get your teammates involved" thats the genital stage. In fact Bill Walton is such a supporter of the genital Stage that he got that loving nickname "Dickface"
Thats the end of the Analisis!
Im sure there will be more to come since gilbert is patient Zero when it comes to the brain studies since he has more layers than an onion and they are open and still warm like a Bloomin Onion.
The mind is an amazing place. Like sociologist Chalres Cooley said
"It is indeed a cave swarming with strange forms of life, most of them unconscious and unilluminated. Unless we can understand something as to how the motives that issue from this obscurity are generated, we can hardly hope to foresee or control them."
I know he was only talking about the Capital Center but its true for brain also!!!!Labels: Agent Zero, Gilbert Arenas
posted by wizznutzz
OUR FAMOUS MOTHERING HUT T-SHIRTS
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Friday, October 27, 2006
Steinz's Sports Bog turns up another gem!!! He went around asking people what they thought of his synthetic balls from the NBA that he was carrying around & asking about, and he turned up this GENUINE QUOTE:
Former Bullets cheerleader Susan Colbert (1983-'85): I've been knocked in the head by enough balls; we say the softer the better.
WizzNutzz intern Dana Von Postgame Call-In Show Girl says, "AMEN! Though occasionally I like a hard ball upside my dome because it reminds me to tell my man to get his sack checked for goiters and shit."Labels: Agent Bog
posted by wizznutzz
OUR FAMOUS MOTHERING HUT T-SHIRTS
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Thursday, October 26, 2006
Gott ist tot! Dio e morto!
LONG LIVE GOD!!!
WizzNutzz miss the Manchild, aka He Who Shall Not Be Named. He was the savior of the Wizards, the divine mule who defeated the demon Salieri. When Jehovah was expelled from the holy land, it brought fear to our hearts, and as much as we love and squeeze Tough Juice, nobody can compensate for deicide.
But hope is not lost, for when the beautiful brown Hyacinthus was killed by the mustached Apollo, a flower sprouted up from his blood. That wounded flower hath been reincarnated in the shape of young Andray Blatche. Regard his heavenly box score from the Wiz's last pre-season game. In 32 mins, the Manchild Nouveau had 4 pts., 0 blocks, 6 johnny rebs, and 7 TOs. That's right, Andray dropped Terrell Owens SLEVEN TLIMES!!! That sign was exactly as the Book of Revelations prophesized: "As dark clouds hover and vegetation wilts, as floods destroy and winds howl, as wars are fought by berserkers and slaughters drench the soil in blood, God will return with vengeance, smelling of shrapnel and butter. Let him lift and drop the dark soul of a cowboy 7 times, breaking open his rounded, orange, synthetic head so that the rancid bile flows throughout the lands, killing the devil which hath infested itself in the capitol."
WHOA! Our very own Lady of Fatima moment!!!
Welcome to the new lord ubermench, Bhagavata Blatche!!!!!
 Labels: Andray
posted by wizznutzz
OUR FAMOUS MOTHERING HUT T-SHIRTS
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Wednesday, October 25, 2006
AND NOW Wizznutzz Are Over On ESPN.com Wizards Preview answering question:
What would it take for you to get a tattoo of the Wizards' logo on your chest?
Tim Legler's body picks Wiz 7th in conference!
What would it take for you to get inked? Give us some comments!Labels: Press
posted by wizznutzz
OUR FAMOUS MOTHERING HUT T-SHIRTS
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Eminmem asks Wizznutzz some questions over at:
SLAM'S WIZARDS SEASON PREVIEW
For the commenter who asks "wtf? how can a guy b pregnant?" well when it came to the Abe Pollin Eugenics Farm, their slogan was the same as Adidas new Agent Zero campaign: "Impossible Is Nothing"!
But RIGHT NOW go to this espn page and vote for the name AGENT ZERO!
The brand is everything! Labels: Press
posted by wizznutzz
OUR FAMOUS MOTHERING HUT T-SHIRTS
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Tuesday, October 24, 2006
ENOURMOUS AGENT ZERO INCITE NUMBER ONE
The Agent Zero preseason confessional just keeps going and going and going like Energizer bunny and Dana backstage at the DeBarge reunion show!!!
Agent Zero hops on his NBA Blog aka Gods Jaberwocky and mite as well have drilled a hole in my skull and scooped out my mind like so much Lik M Aid.
To review some of the amazery:
-Gilbert buys Geisha Wagon for his dad.
What were they all out of "Remains Of The Day" Bentleys?
-Gilbert meets with "financial" to discuss master plan for world control he calls THE TAKEOVER.
Dont be afraid tho, its a benevolent powergab, u may say its facism but its some George Foreman Facism
"The TAKEOVER" includes three key steps:
1. Opening restaraunts.
Zero's Bacon Bowl? Masterchiefs? Couch Burger? Twitchies? TGIMadness?
Put your suggestions in the comments box!
2. The Annexation of Wheaton Plaza.
Lord & Taylor converted to prison camp renamed "Wheaton Velodrome"
Spencer Gifts mounts fierce underground resistance, distributes edible panties to hungry jews!
3. Political Influence
I want politicians coming to me and asking me for advice ...
I know nothing about politics, but, hey. So if I can control the people in D.C., then they have to come talk to me.
I love this! How would this work?
Would Gilbert flip his special coin and play "Two-Up" to decide the fate of condemned criminals?
Would Anthony Williams drop by to ask how to find the plasma grenades in the ROlling Thunder level?
Would power brokers bring by rare Darvin Ham Talk n Text Phone Pals road jerseys to curry favor?
Would Senators drop by Gilberts hyperbaric tent seeking wisdom, like Agent Zero was some sort of Low altitude oracle?? WOuld they come into the tent and gil's manservant Awvee storey asks them to remove their shirts out of respect and they would sit with Gilbert, and the air would be thick with canadian hamburger but thin in oxygen and then they would have to complete one piece of Gilberts giant puzzle as an offering and then they would ask their question and gilbert would pause and then say a cryptic proverb with his eyes shut, like:
"you cant wake a person who is pretending to be asleep on the couch"
or"
"Bambi. Quick! The Thicket!"
And then a feeling of pure enlightenement and clarity moves over everyone aka brains begin to asphyxiate, and two months later DC council breaks ground on dogs-only Metro!
But most awesome thing about "The Takeover" is that the WIZZNUTZZ can relate to it, since, yes, we had our own TAKEOVER plan (The Bacon Reich), when we first started 4 years ago, but fate had a way of changing our plan:
TAKEOVER PLAN A:
When we first started our blog we had nothing but some Gheorge Muresan floating heads javascript and a dream...
... we wanted to get Llorenzo Williams' jersey hung from the rafters of the Capital Center.. But team president Susan OMalley insisted that they would first have to remove the jersey from Llorenzos body, so we killed the petition.
TAKEOVER PLAN B:
We then decided on way to give back to community by helping others help themselves with a program we called:
"UGGS FOR DRUGS"
First we provided venture capital for podiatric cheese-making technology that ended up being an extraordinary product we call THE Ike Austin CHeesebootTM that uses what u call "The Foot" but we call "the thermodynamic wonder" to create delicous cheese product while you just walk around for only pennies a day !!!
Then we are eating some foot cheese one day with Ike Austin aka "The COmplete Package" spokesman and Ike says, "You know Im very much against poor people and crack stabbings" and a light goes off on our heads and we launch "Uggs for Drugs" where we offer an exchange program: you bring in your drugs, and no questions asked, we exchange to you a brand new pair of australian sheep fleece CHeezeboots "As worn on Oprah" so poor drug types can trade in their self destructive ways for self-Productive WHEYS! and make a new start going into business for themselves so where they had despair they now have pride.
TAKEOVER PLAN C:
Uggs for DrugsTM was going awesome and we thought we had found our purpose but all that changed in a big way one rainy october night when something stumbled into the backyard. It was a naked man but not totally a man , we knew that because of the unformed nipples, and no neck and little possum arms that were clawing at its face and it was yelling "No Fatha ouchies, no fatha ouchies!!!!" And the creature had a shiny medical bracelet on its wrist that said "Ledell Eakles Prototype 3BETA. Nonviable. Destroy At Maturity." And we realised THEN AND THERE that when Abe Pollin talked about "Breeding A Winner" at the Capital Center that it was a different kind of breeding and we had to do all in our power unmask these genetic crimes.
TAKEOVER PLAN D: THE SAGINAW CANDIDATE
When the Cap Center was finally destroyed taking with it the terrible In Vitro Farm and with Mugsy and Manute and Gheorge in protective quarantine we had nothing to do all of sudden and were vulnerable and were talked into a dark partnership with Saginaw Mayor Wilmer-Jones Ham
Wilmer is mother of our own Darvin Ham is how we got manipulated.
Wilmer is very ambitious politically and she had secret plan to assassinate the president of USA!!! Her plan was to 'Repurpose the Psyche' aka brainwash her very own robot assassin son using hypnosis and punishment-bacon-reward sciences from North Korea. But the plan backfired badly and Washington Wizards had to hire Air Marshalls to stop naked Darvin from storming the cockpit everytime Christian Laettner played the Queen Of Hearts during team bridge games. Wilmer Ham wept and promised us to dismantle her plans but then this summer Lonnie Baxter was arrested squeezing of rounds outside of White House and Homeland security officials report Juice Newton greatest hits CD was found playing in SUV moments before Lonnies odd ways.!!!
TAKEOVER PLAN ZERO!!!
But then our lives changed forever when we fell in love with Gilbert Arenas and we fall harder than Wes Unseld in a Jet Blue toilet and we decide to devote rest of our days to promoting and spreading the gospel of all things AGENT ZERO.
And we work hard , harder than bees, harder that a 23Jumpman Malaysian seamstresses to get out the word, and we were proudly joined in our mission by loyal friends Jamie and Mr SKeets and Dan Steinberg and DCist and Will and Marcel and more and tireless campaigning of honorary intern Unsilent Majority and then last Friday we finish reading Gilberts Blog and we read these life changing words:
I have a pair of my signature shoes, and I can't believe I got my own shoe. That's amazing! They're the Gil Zeros. I had a thousand names for them.
I think the new name is Agent Zero.
Oh that's hot.
Whoever made that "Agent Zero" up gets a percentage.
Oh.
My.
Shammgod.
All the televisions in our headquarters at the wheaton Circuit City flickered and went silent and blue for just a second. As we read those words a deep calm seemed to fill the air and hearts like all of mankinds souls leaving their bodys and holding hands across the sky. Patrick Ewing's soul left his body and went and got some baked beans but he still held hands while he ate them. Time stood still and endless for just that good moment and a deep warm perfect bliss hung in the sky and everywhere everyone was good and everything was right for just that moment and big , thick salty tears began to run down our cheeks, congealing slowly like bacon fat on morning's first plate and somewhere in a cold Atlanta parking lot intern August Strindberg stumbled out from a strip club, and looked up at the young sun and let his tattered overcoat fall open and welcomed its great warmth upon his face, and then grimaced, leaned forward and vomited on his shoes.
Whoever made that "Agent Zero" up gets a percentage.
Wow when Gilbert's TAKEOVER is complete we could ask him for just about anything in the world that our hearts desire!!!! but NO we dont want anything from you except respect and a smile to know our work has reached you. Sure there are some things we would REALLY like that you could do for us, like some signed Agent Zeros, or maybe to free all the chickens, or if you could fast track our adoption of Ty Lue, or maybe just if you could make "Bullets Fever" be national anthem for Mexico. You could use the alternate finals version so their customs wont be offended.
CJ y Larry, Gregorio, Jose y Mitch
Dirigiram el equipo de la bomba en la zanja!
All men need pride, and all pride needs a song. Even in Mexico.
We don't need rewards because what we did we did for love. You think JC rolled up after the ressurrection and went to the Disciples and was like "Yo Simon, JT, Bart, I been with Financial. SHits blowing up bigger than the Beatles. Heres a little something for your hard work" and stuffed thick enevelopes of sheckles into their sportcoats? "Judas, dog, your cut is down behind the abandoned metalworks by the river. The boys will take you down there tonight so yo getting what you deserve."
We just want to be with you on The Takeover!
We're with you Pleather! Together our combined powers will be amazing. Like Pollin and O'Malley, TC and Rick, Moominpapa and Moominmama.
You have fame, money, influence.
We have a mothering hut and a pair of boxers autographed in cream cheese by Steve Buckhantz!
ENORMOUS AGENT ZERO INCITE #2 COMING SOON!!!Labels: Agent Zero, Gilbert Arenas
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Friday, October 20, 2006
Marketing assassin Susan O'Malley makes hi-dolla deal with Miller Genuine Draft:
WIZARDS UNVEIL NEW ALTERNATE JERSEYS!!!
Brendan Haywood looks like a giant unwrapped rolo!
Family Tough Juice parades new look!
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SOmehting smells at Basketball Jones and its smells like Pultitzer!
BBJ tracked down former DC baller Tryone Nesby aka T-Nes or as they call him in eastern europe T-Než. So Wizznutzz roused intern Strindberg from his fetid bench at Radmansgatan subway station and dispatched him for follow up scoops. This is what we found out:
2 years ago Lithuania traded 300 metric tons of milled grain to US Government in exchange for Tyrone Nesby. The US burned the grain so it wont affect farm subsidies but Lithuania didnt burn TNež, instead he became cultural ambassador aka he blew up so big, hes now Lithuianian Puff Daddy!!! Hes also Lithuanian MLK and Lithuanian Wesley Snipes and Lithuanian you name any black man because T-Než has somewthing all those young white lithuanian hip-hop wannabes, (they callz em "Litters") dont got - hes got melanin and hes got Michael Jordan's bootprints still on his back!!!!
Now if you check from T-Než's website, you see him relaxing in the Dnepr-Bug drainage basin aka Darius Songalia Memorial BLVD like he owns the damn place! and thats cuz he just about does because since T-Než has backing of powerful Lithuanian Mafia Seimos Lygino Asilas aka The Family of The Iron DOnkey and he is now like Vilinius' Most Notorious, and he rolls through town with 24" spinners on his Yugo, kicks it in his delux 300 sqft, 7 bedroom loft with its vaulted 6' ceilings and tru cement floors, hes wearing top luxury goat skin trenchcoats with London Fog labels sewn inside, and he wont think not 2 seconds about dropping 4, even 5 euros, on VIP tab for fermented milk bottle service. ANd of course T-Než always has the finest, flyest, Lithuanian Cheerleadres on his arm.
And btw Lithuanian cheerleaders R way more than just a pretty edutainer.
U think you can just give any girl a pair of reebok pumps, some hair removal aid, and an ankle-length rally cape and she becomes a Lithuanian Cheerlerader?? Hell in a hoop no! Cuz in Lithuania, cheerleaders are like Geishas, and it is their art to pleasure a man and they are trained by tradition on farms and slected for their prized milking skillz.
Check God Shammgods Mix tape (now with sweet new flash audio boombox!!) soon for TNes rap singles since we just dropped some dead czars and bought the disc tho the site is in Lithuania language so maybe we get bride!!!
UPDATE!!!
Lithuania sends ambassador Než.by to Las Vegas to launder aid monies on semi pro team!!!Labels: TNes
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Wednesday, October 18, 2006
Curse O' Les Ex-Boulez!!!!
Other notable injuries once players fled the invitro farm:
-Rod Strickland broke his tibula after slipping on sausage casings
-Jahidi White broke Steve Blake in half during private rugby match
-Salieri Jordan broke his soul after tripping over "YOU'RE FIRED" cake
Tell us of more injuries in commentation below!!!!
posted by wizznutzz
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Tuesday, October 17, 2006
OFFSEASON SNAPSHOT #1
Brendan Haywood!
A few weeks ago Brendan Haywood got invited to appear at edutainment event Sixth National Book Festival and that meant he spent personal time with First Lady Laura BUSH!!!! Never has the franchise had someone so close to seat of power since Abe Pollin was a young vulnerable intern to Grover Cleveland.
Why did they choose Brendan? Because they had Elmo already and wanted someone less threatening!
So Brendan Haywood is at the podium with First Lady and wizznutzz obtain scoop of what was exchanged:
BRendan:
"Mrs. Bush, its an honor to meet you. I would love to have a chance to speak to you further about youth literacy"
Barbara:
"Mmmm Mmmm. Well this Bush loves black people!"
Brendan:
"Mrs. Bush, really i came here to speak about the reading program. Maybe we could talk about if you had a favorite book when your were a young adult?"
Barabara:
"Oooh I like that SUPERFUDGE"
Brendan:
"Thats enough Mrs. Bush. Please."
Wizards Awesome Summer Reading Lists!Labels: Brenda
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Monday, October 16, 2006
SAd news on Friday: The Bullets released Party John Ramos, star of the Roanoke Dazzle, shotgun rider during the Andray Blatche carjacking, and Yao Ming's BFF.
As you can see from his tears above, Party John has had a tough time of it. He only started balling when he turned 14 and his ice skates no longer fit. He played 4 years in the Puerto Rico leagues before the Wiz drafted him in the second round in 2004. PJ spent most of that year handing out towels on the Wiz bench and trying to fend off the advances of G-Wiz, and he spent most of last year buying meaty sambucas for co-eds in Roanoke.
But this year was make it or break it off for Party John: He couldn't go back to the NBDL and the Wiz already had 97 players under guaranteed contracts. Party John and Donnel Taylor and Roger Mason Jr. and Randell Jackson and David Vanterpool were fighting for the two open slots, but after a lackluster Camp Lorenzo, the 7'3" hardwood vixen was sent packing.
DAGGER!
After Abe wandered in and gave him an "MVP cake," Party John slipped on his platform shoes, put on his shiny jacket, and took that long walk down Fun Street one last time. He then got sidetracked by the Spy Museum and fell asleep in the School for Spies exhibit.
Adios, amigo, adios. Here's our grief in song....
Download your own Party John Ramos Wallpaper!Labels: mp3, Party John
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Saturday, October 14, 2006
The Oct. 23 issue of ESPN the Magazine of ESPN the TV of ESPN the Radio of ESPN the Former Mobile Phone Provider of ESPN.com has a story on Agent Zero. It's more of the Arenas legend rehashed, the kind of steaming pile of hot chunky hash that a mother bird regurgitates for her young after putting it through her gizzard. But there's a few nice scenes between Gilbert and Gilbert Sr. on the set of The Black President's new Adidas commercial.
Gilbert is shown picking bugs out of Gil Sr.'s hair.
Then he and Sr. are shown laffin' about it!!!! Ha haahaa!!!!
"Philip Michael Thomas used to do that exactly bug picking thing to Don JOhnson on the set of Miami Vice," said Gil Sr., so Gil Jr. started mad mugging!!! Always joking!!!! Good times between Miami Vice stars!!!
Here are the two best excerpts from the ESPN article, typed up by our good friend Mavis Bacon!!!
*****
As the commercials' director signals everyone to take his place, Gilbert Sr. explains his philosophy of parenting. Growing pensive, he lets out a half sigh. "My own father never had time for me," he says. "He was to busy chasing skirts." Gilbert pops up off the cooler. "Sounds like a good idea to me," he says mockingly.
Another thoughtful moment blindsided by the Big Kid. Gilbert Sr. can't get too worked up; he knows he's partly to blame: "I created Gilbert in my own image, a little version of me. [NOTE THE FAMILY'S LOVE OF HAVING CHILDREN AND GIANT BOBBLEHEADS CREATED IN HIS OWN IMAGE!!!!!] And I never want him to be unhappy." If that means sacrificing virtually every Hallmark moment, so be it.
After several takes, Gil lifts up his shirt to reveal an elaborate, stunning [EMPHASIS OURS!!!!] tattoo of a tiger's head that stretches from pecs to naval. A touch of swelling [EMPASIS OURS!!!!] announces it was done just the night before. It stops Gilbert St. in his tracks. For the first time this day, he is speechless. Finally, he musters a disapproving, "What the hell is that?"
"That's the eye of the tiger," says Gilbert.
"Eye, my ass! Is it permanent?" His expression is one of pure dismay as he comes closer to inspect the artwork [EMPHASIS OURS!!!!].
"Look of disappointment on your father's face," Gilbert says, not missing a beat. "Priceless."
The elder Arenas decides its better to turn and walk away. But after taking two steps toward his trailer, he swivels abruptly, clearly hoping the cat has scampered off his son's torso. "What are you going to do when you take your jersey off after the game?" he asks.
"I'll have a shirt on underneath so no one will see it," his son insists. Unconvinced, Dad walks off. As he does, he delivers his parting shot: "Dwayne Wade would never do that." [EMPHASIS GILBERT SR.!!!!!!!!!!!!!]
****
The other main nugget from the article concerns The Assassin on marriage: "I don't want to get married unless they change the marriage laws. You should have to sign a marriage contract for no more than five years, with an option to opt out."
The Stealth's Baby Mama will surely be happy to read those quotes!!!!!
In the final photo from the ESPN article, Gilbert is shown wearing a body suit that he hopes will become the Wizards' third-alternate uniform. But what's up with the Who Farted Dude on the far right?!?!?!!!
 Labels: Gil Sr, Gilbert Arenas
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Friday, October 13, 2006
On his MySpace page, the Black President calls his new daughter "Mini Me" and his giant bobblehead statue "Mini Me 2." Agent Zero has his priorities straight!!!
At some point we'll comment on the Esquire article on Agent Zero, but the sheer volume of INCITES from The Assassin is just killing us this preseason.
DIDI MAO DIDI MAO DIDI MAO!!!
It's gonna take time, peyote, rehab before we can comprehend it all. Gil is just providing too much too fast, much like intern Jarkko on the night that Dana taught him how to become a man in just under three seconds.
The Esquire story is so great, so momumentally revealing, that we're going straight to Freudian analysists to decode it. Really. Right now, our burned-out minds are just blown by the gift of Abraham Pollin, the Tiger Tat of Judah, the Very Reverand GILBERT RASTAFARI.
In the meantime, listen to this short interview with Gilbert by Lang Whitaker of Slam Magazine, who apparently used this tape recorder to document it:
Seriously, Lang, that's WizzNutzz quality audio!!!! Did you use Certron tapes, 3 for 1 at the grocery store checkout line? US TOO!!!!!!
But you're a writer pro, Lang, and also our friend and a lover, but if you get a man saying "I cook a hot dog sandwich great!" don't you want it to sound as pristine as Juan Dixon's bathroom, not like you're sitting on a windy yacht in the middle of a sandstorm in a bathroom full of poop?!?!?!?! THINK ABOUT IT!!!!! Have Slam upgrade you to this one for your next chat:
 Labels: Gilbert Arenas
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Didi Mao!!!
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Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Intern August Strindberg checks in from Norra Begravningsplatsen!!!
I have nothing to say, nothing of significance, but sometimes a man must speak, if only to wheeze the death rattle, a moist garlicky waft in the face of the she-succubus. The Wizards' season approaches and my heart spasms like a bird with a broken wing. My loins are bestirred, a damp warmth that I have not felt since my Academy days (when scalding tea was often pouredonto my lap).
And, what is this? -- my overcoat somehow seems slightly less soiled. Perhaps it is the bleaching power of hope -- a rare chemical alchemy engineered by the chemical engineer himself, M. Ruffin.
Ruffin is perhaps the best emblem of this preseason, engineering the chemistry among such disparate elements: Constable Hayes, who has momentarily apprehended his criminal nemesis, the fiendish Kneecapper; Andray, young Bulletproof, the victor of a much-anticipated Slava-clash this summer in Long Beach; Awvrwee Storryy, who plea-bargained with the Miami PD, turned State's Evidence, and is now undercover in New Jersey, cozying up to Cliff Robinson; etc.
The Jimmy Olson of these superfriends is a newcomer, an energetic scribe who has not yet succumbed to the inherent futitlity of the written word (a futility I know all too well). I speak of course of Steinz, a nut-harvester supreme who has already provided more scoops than Gar Heard at Baskin-Robbins. Lead on, Brother Steinz! Send Wizznutzz back to the bleak journalistic irrelevancy where we belong.Labels: August Strindberg
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Friday, October 06, 2006
What a long imperfect summer, but it comes to a cold stop now that the loons have stopped singing except in Wes Unselds head as he stares upon Golden Pond as it forms below his trouser leg. Its awesome to be back even though incites are flabbier that Darius Songailia. Sike we love The Song of the South, Zippity DOO DAH, his PR teams says he loves being here and wanted to get off ona good foot with the media and sent us this publicity foto with writing "We look forward to working with you this year!"
But what a summer for the Wizards, so many changes, ANdray Blatche is embarrassedly insisting on washing own sheets all of a sudden, but also roster changes.
I havnt seen so many slow white athletes since Norway hosted the Special Olypics in 92!!!!
But the wizznutzz have been taking it easy because a genius called DAN STEINBERG is doing our work for us. Dan Steinberg is new blogger who is best writer ever born, even better than Franklin W. Dixon ("Chet breathed a sigh of relief" OMG a genius!) and even better than Tom Knott, whose columns are like a footrace between Self-Loathing and Jealous-Rage and a footrace that has no finish like the Grunfeld honeymoon. DSTeinz awesome blog aka ALL THE BLACK PRESIDENTS MEN maybe makes us obsolete, maybe we are Jonah now and he is Jarvis?? But DSteinz is a Media Assassin and now he has the ear of Gilbert arenas and the rest of the team and maybe we have a powerful friend now cause low and beholy jesus he is pitching our Agent Zero brand to the black president!!!
And Agent Zero? "Ooooh, I like that, I like that," he said. He repeated "I like that" several times.
"I should have named them Agent Zeros," he said. "That's the next name. That's Part Two."
Dan the cheeseboots are in the mail because its all about positioning the brand when its not about rear-loading the product. Get a cheeseboot on Big Oily cause hes like Russia market, a big rustic virgin waiting to be conquered!!!
We took Cold Mountain(TM) public
And now Agent Zero is next!!!
But Gilbert says he has other nicknames on the table, like :
"The Stealth" (WAY TOO JAN MICHAEL VINCENT GIL)
"Zero To Hero" (Much Too close to Kevin Duckworths slogan "Zero To Hero To Hoagie And Back To Zero")
Plus he has already
NEW TOP SECRET ADIDAS KICKS HITTING THE SHELVES:
The ZERO-G!!!
Not BAD, I like the NIL sign logo, it suggests qualities of gils game: the perfect circle, the laws of nothingness, the Hegelian tension between the void and pure being (which Gilbert knows better then anyone since he spooned between PJ Ramos and Kwame Brown his rookie year)
SO far the shoe is popular:
Sarunas Jasikevicius pimped his in powder blue with custom embroidered moomintrolls!!!
And Abe Pollin ordered 3 dozen to his own Zero G special needs!!!
But we need to Push the Agent 0 Line for next year.
we Already got the Ad campaign!!
An NOW We Got THE SHOES prototype!!!!:
2K7 Agent Zero DuckPin Waders!!!
Supple leather knee high uppers protect from Squirrel bites!
This has just been start of One Crazy Summer for Gilbert Arenas.
The Coq diesel has gone CHockity Choko.
Like we warned last year he is best quote in the NBA. WHos a better quote in world even? Maybe Winston Chruchill if he had Tourettes would be better but just you try sending DubCHurch to Best Buy to buy you a rap cd !
HERE IS HI-LITES OF GILBERTS OFFSEASON:
FREEBIRD
Gilbert and Awvee Arrested In Miami.
You read about it here.
But The Charges Dropped Against Agent 0!
But they aren't dropped for Awvee Storey aka Bonnie aka Cousin Larry
Now summers over and the boys are back from summer of love in Miami and Gilbert is acting all cold to Awvee, like in the movie Grease when Danny snubbed Sandy. Before they were so close, Awvee would spray antiseptic into Gils bowlers every night while he slept, but now Awvees all like "Youve changed Gilbert! I hate you I never want to see you again!"! in his worst Andrew gaze accent. But its Awvee needs changing, into leather pants and blonde wig to get his man back
POSTERCHICKEN
giant Gilbert Arenas billboard goes up downtown, with giant slogan that says:
"GO ALL IN"
Which SUperfan Sasha tells us is already a slogan, taken by:
THE HIROSHIMA CARP!!!
NO one should make a joke about Hirsoshima. Because Hirsoshima is like 1998 Bullets: it caused great shame for all mankind and because both had their fate horrifically changed forever by a bomb squad.
The new Gil Billboard was pasted over the old Mitch Richmond one, slogan "Touch The Sky" but rain and dirt had worn | | |
