The Breakers have finalised their roster for the coming season, signing former NBA star Awvee Storey to fill the import slot vacated by Dave Thomas...
The 32-year-old Chicago native is an athletic 1.98m forward who played his college basketball at Arizona State and has 60 NBA regular season games for the Milwaukee Bucks, Washington Wizards and New Jersey Nets to his credit. Most recently he played the 2008 NBA pre-season with the Nets before heading to China, where he averaged 23.3 points and 7.1 rebounds across the 44-game season for Liaoning.
Storey's on-court CV is impressive but he does not come without baggage...
Our regulars know we have a special place in our game-worn larry blackmon codpieces for ex-Wiz reserve and Gilbert Arenas Man Friday AWEVEE STORY.
We are so fascinated by him that our very own intern Rex Immensae Majestatis Chapman once wrote a four-part, epiphanically minimal prose poem about Awvee and Connie Unseld, a work that PEN America managing Editor David Haglund called "an assured and keenly felt debut by one of America's most promising young retarded writers."
So we were thrilled and amazed to read that Awvee will be playing out his golden years in the New Zealand Pro League!
We were also thrilled and amazed to hear him described as a "FORMER NBA STAR" and that he is "1.98 METERS" !!!! Is 1.98 tall??? Hell, it is in NewZealand which is full of the hobbits. The average man is New Zealand is 1 meters tall, but has a sized 15EEEE foot so Awvee should have problems getting a shoe contract.
Celeb-crazed New Zealanders have followed Awvees every move since he touched down.
-GawkerNZ reporting: "Awvee Storey 2:30PM downing marmite sliders at Phil Keoghan's Pit Stop cafe in Christchurch" "Awvee Stroey 4:45PM buying Flying Nun EPs at Real Groovy Records" "Awevee Storey Dunedin bus stop 11:25PM practicing Haka?" "Awvee Storey 9:35PM with estate agents touring exclusive properties at Bagshot Row - MUCH taller in person!!!"