Thanks to Washingtonian Magazine for featuring us in their "Best In WHite People 09" Issue!!!!
Its a great honor!
ALmost as excitng as when they featured us as one of "Wheatons Eligible Bachelors" in 02! Sure it wasnt "most elegible" and there were only 9 of us : the called us "The Nine" - but eligibility was strict that year: no drugs or diseases, no wives, no gang members, no goths and no confused elerly people abandoned by their familaies at wheaton plaza.
And now we even forgive Washingtonian for rejecting our investigative piece we wrote on the health code violations at Michael Jordans Steakhouse which they said was "journalistically meritless" and "too malicious" for their subscribers and that "the aged meatstink of past-prime vanity" was not even a real health code violation!!!! And they said that the busboys wearing Air Jordans was also not a violation and was actually a "nice touch" in their words but they obviously stopped reading because otherwise they would have seen the part aboput how the busboys HAD to wear air jordans because they got PAID in air jordans, not money! If thats not a violation of something then I dont know what. These are men not strippers they shouldnt have to wear their pay! Plus they would have seen the part how we said that these busboys have families back home that rely on their sending money and you cant buy food or pay the bills or build a house out of air jordans but then we found one busboy whose mother DID built a house in Honduras from the air jordans he sent her: luckily they were velcro models (defective Retro Lows) and easy to stick together but still while u eat your 23JumpSteaks just think how you are around the world making the story of "the Little Old Woman who lived in a shoe" come to life from a fairy tale to tru fact but in the fairy tale the old lady "didnt know what to do" where as this old lady knew what to do: get sued for 2 million dollars for brand infringement by MJs company and then die of asbestos poisoning from the tainted shoe-house that her own loving son paid for with shoes that his own brothers made for criminally low pay at a Honduras sweatshop only half a mile from the dying old lady: globalization is scary folks, and its real, realer than scott skiles
