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Wednesday, February 11, 2009
 
Salieri

Today we introduce a brand new feature:

"WIZZNUTZZ CLASSIC" !!!!

Think of it like ESPN Classic , or as they call it on ESPN Deportes "Basquetbol de los Pantalones Cortos" !!!!!

We have been around along long time, When we started players could still smoke on the court during timeouts! And we have collected so many many incites on our Colecovision hard drive.

So for our new readers we thought from time to time we will share again some of our favorite incites we did from the past in case you did not see them the first time around. If you did see them the first time around and hated them then you will feel trapped in a bad dream you cant wake up from. Welcome to our world!!!

First up is a "classic" incite about the sacred cash cow Michael Jordan who, came out of retirement and forced himself upon the Washington Wizards franchise in a desperate quest to secure an unusual career double-double: points scored and bible commandments broken!

People always ask us: "guys u love the DC ballers so much, is there a player u love most" and our answer is no there isnt one we love most (pssst: Tyrone Nesby!) , but there is one we love the least and he is the only dc baller we ever hated and boy do we hate him good!!! And his name is Michael Jeffrey Jordan but we call him "SALIERI" after the Amadeus dude because he was a washed up and bitter player who got consumed with envy for the young manchild genius kwame brown and set about to poison and methodically ruin him.

Ahh it feels great to hate again. Thanks Salieri!!!!!

So here is our "classic" post that catches up with MJ in retirement, living out the last years of his sponsorships as corporate hollowman. We explain why MJ introduces himself as "Leroy" to potential mistresses, what it takes to become MJs friend, and secret details of his divorce stellement!!!


READ IT HERE!

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Also: Salieri was kind of in the news again this week because his sister Deloris says their dad James Jordan raped her for five years when she was a child but you wouldnt find it on any of the big sites or TV because they buried the story like a cheeseboot.

Now this kind of story is serious business and breaks our hearts and we understand privacy and have of course no jokes to make, or sides to take, and dont think this is even the business of the media or our website but the fact that the mainstream news stayed away is a little odd to me. Maybe they said "well she says her dad raped her but she has a book to sell" yes true but it isnt a Sudoku book its a book about how her dad raped her, or they say "well its a family matter" yes tru but u know what else is a family matter: incest. Or more likely it was because they were too busy writing stories about Mike Phelps hitting the pipe, or about "The Mannish Inquisition" aka Peter Gammons exclusive interview with Alex Rodriguez's fantastically moist lips! Talk about performance enhancing substances, someone should test ARod for STrawberry Lip gloss! It's got Americas scorekeepers in a moral frenzy. The self-appointed stain resistant sports police r getting their gem mint panties all in a knot again about the integrity of portly men running around bases with giant webbed ball catching baskets on their hands. Enough already! Dear baseball players, if you wear a belt, and your name is not bruce lee, then you r not an athlete. Hey u know what else ARod cheated at? Marriage! Like MJ did and like 25% of men do but i guess that institution isnt so sacred in this country.

Update:
Deloris Jordans book "In My Familys Shadow" was actually published in 2001 and is very very out of print and hard to find. All the reports this week about the allegations come on hip-hop forums and small-time entertainment sites and blogs and they all source this website, a site you are not going to confuse with BBC news anytime soon, which recently posted excerpts it claims are from the book. However, the book jacket, pictured here, does reference sexual abuse at the hands of her father. But how could we have missed this in '01, the very year Michael Jordan returned to the court in DC??? Are we crazy? Anyone remember hearing about this? If you know something, go on the comments and make like JayZ and Blow tha WHistle

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