Monday, February 02, 2009
HEy so what do old wine, The Wizards, Filenes and The Gar Heard Robot have in common?
They r all things you FIND IN BASEMENTS!!!!
They been heading there all season in downward lurches, its been like watching a drunk wes unsled playing Dig Dug, but now finally the wiz officially at the bottom of the stairs!
This is the new life living in the "Rump State" that is Ed tapscotts Wizrads. Yes Rump States r real places and we living in one now. (Quick! check the last wikipedia entry on Rump States before fact nazis remove it!!!))
Rump States r what happens in power vacuums, like Bosnia and also the Ham-McZee government of Saginaw.
Rump states mean chaos and reconstruction and the soft basketry of lowered expectations. and thats whats happening here. There are signs if you look for them and the signs are ominous. I mean real signs! Like the giant billboard sign on the scorers table at Verizon Center the other night: it read, tru fact:
Cash4Gold.com will be featured on various Wizards (as well As Verizon Center) assets and will receive exposure on Wizards TV programming, courtside advertisements, online and via the Wizards radio network. The partnership also allows fans who submit their jewelry to Cash4Gold.com to be entered into special ticket giveaway sweepstakes and other in-venue promotions.
Thats right, Wiz are teaming up with a PAWN SHOP!!!!! Trade your dead grandmas bling for a chance to win upper deck tickets!!!
At least back in the day a man could go into a pawn shop and swap his jewelry for a hi-fi and some erotic african-style art. Or if that man was Dexter Manley, some cold hard cash he could later on swap for some crack rocks . What kind of sane man would give up real gold for wizards tixckets when he could scalp em off David Gregory outside Clydes for 5 bucks?
Sure Wiz have had advertising deals before that were pungent with desparation, like when they made Phase 4 Orthotics a VIP partner on 1998 and last year when Olesksiy "Big Oily" Pecherov signed an exclusive endrorsment deal with RobotCut. But this is whole new level of ad slumming.
And its going to get worse before it gets better. We have insider info that Wiz r about to announce a corporate partnership with Mogen David Wineries to supply the arena with their quality fortified products!!! Sure Mogen David isnt a fancy wine. Its no Steven Blake Rusty Bay thats form sure. Its not even "Sh*thead Creek" but these are tough times. Maybe giving fans coupons 4 free Cisco everytime the team scores 90 points seems like a reckless plan to u. Maybe you prefer a Papa Johns pizza but free papa johns pizzas are expensive and free papa johns pizza dont help you forget
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