As much as we love Heath Schuler it was sure hard voting against a man called MUMPOWER. First it was also the name of that old Dabney Coleman mystery show on CBS that we loved, but also becuz 'MUMPOWER' would be a GREAT name to call JaVale McGee! But I know we already call him 'The Vale of Cashmere'. Also sometimes we call him AKIMBO SLICE. We have many names for him because he is so many young men at once. Like Hungarians have all those different words for 'sausage' and JKidd all the words for slapping ladies. JaVale is so young and in Coach Jordans Situationist offense he can be whatever you dream him to be!
We love watching JaVale so much, and lets face it we need to find love in these difficult times because Brenda has left the Peach Pit which moves Etan into the primetime cast but like Tan's fellow poet Mitchell Butler Yeats say, "The backup centre cannot hold", and when he wasnt stealing signs, pitcher Rollie Barthes one time said "humanity seems doomed to analogy" so true and so true for The Vale because when we think of JaVale we can only think of him as the ways he is like other wonderful things, like how The Vale's mind is like the mind of a slippery newborn foal that just dropped from under the horses tail but hasnt hit the hay yet, and how The Vales body is like a wooden puppet brought to life in a toy store one night by the dark magic of immigrants - u have to expect he gonna walk into the glass a few times before he figures out how to open the register, or how watching The Vale going for a block is like being a duck in a pond and seeing a giant goose thats out of control veering out of the sky right at you and then u realize that its not actually out of control but that on the gooses back is a mouse in a saddle flying the goose and that the mouse is a radical extremist mouse and hes trying to crash the goose on purpose and destroy your way of life in the pond forever!!!!
We love The Vale because so far there is not much else to love. Sure it will be fun to watch Nick Young and Juan Dixon grow beards after that bet they made not to shave until someone made an assist. Bad bet Nick! In 2002 Stackhouse passed the ball to Juan and he didnt give it back for 3 months!!!!
Because it aint so easy to replace Agent Zero cuz this team is built around the soul in the hole.
If theres is one girl Rick James doesnt want to miss time from his girl group The Mary Jane Girls its that big butch gal with the braids cuz shes the ladyface of the Rick James francshise, she's the one with the swag, shes the one who would knock kylie minogue out cold with fists of biscuit dough. So until Gilbert gets off the couch again to make love to the buzzer we choose to just look at the glass as 1/8 full and call the rest of this year by the name: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb.