"Arenas First Athlete Ever To Have Likeness Created In Wax, Ice and Bacon"
DC Madam:
"Statue's Public Hair: 'Ethically Sourced',
Wax: Free Trade Carnuba, Cuban."
V.I.P. VOLTIVE!
"Tussaud's Taps 'Sculptor To The Stars' For Arenas Statue, Best Known For Groundbreaking Lionel Richie Heads. Celebrity Waxman: "I Always Do The Nipples Last."
"Corcoran Agent: Wax Version Of Phil Chenier Bought Property in Chantilly, VA"
All In The Family:
"Gil's Cousin 'Jaavy' Cheered As 'Agent 28' At Local Games"
Gil's Cousin 'Blue' Cheered As 'Agent StuffsPocketsWithMini-TinsOfDintyMooreSoupWhileHisFriendCreates ADistractionByTheComicBookRack' At Local 7-Eleven
UN-VALED!
"JaVale McGee Sex Tape Leaked To Internet!
First Celebrity Sex Tape To Be Filmed In IMAX!"
"MARK PRICE: WE CAN CURE PLANTAR FASCIITIS IN OUR LIFETIME!!!!"
