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Sunday, November 23, 2008
 




SCREAMING HEADLINES
!!!!


WIZ: ONE AND TON!
"FALL TO KNICKS LINEUP OF ROSE, ROBERSON, JARED JEFFRIES' ROOMATE, KENNY KRAMER, TWO 7 FT HASIDIC STOCKBOYS FROM B&H CAMERA!"

Nate Robinson Dominates Glass:
"Analyst Frazier Quips: 'It's Not the Size of the Ass In The F**K, It's the Size of the F**k in the Ass' !!!"

KA-CHING!
"Wizards Facing Priciest Rebuilding Year SInce Andre Rison, '94!"

"Gold Urinals: Naturally Flame-Retardant"

GRUNFELD:
" 'Lonelier Than Ted Turner' "

"Dreaming About a Shithouse In Your Own Backyard?
Build It and They Will Come!!!"

"REPORT: Grunfeld Signs 4-Year Lease on A Hooters In Bali, Declines Firebomb Insurance"

Crisis Talks On Hill
"Big Three: Paulson, Abbott, Pollin Expect Low 4Q Numbers, Slump In Songalia Plasma TV Credit Index, Warn of 'Deep' Recession, Seek Bailout"

"DC Backcourt of Brown and Dixon Dubbed 'Subprime' and 'Black Friday' by Leading Economist"

TOONED OUT
"Gazo The Pranksta To Layoff 44,000 Animators!"

STENCH PRESS:
"Blatche Stinks On and Off the Court: Pulls, Points Finger:
'I Think Gilbert Swapped My MetRX with Sea Monkey Powder!'"

'Juan Being Juan'
"Coach Jordan To Experiment With Existentialism To Boost Production"

FLIP THIS HOUSE
"Arenas Declares: Throw This Season, Draft Franchise-Changing Player Like Duncan, Roger Mason"

Monsieur Zero!
"Arenas Cast In Wax By Madame Tussauds!!!"

Triple Threat
"Arenas First Athlete Ever To Have Likeness Created In Wax, Ice and Bacon"

DC Madam:
"Statue's Public Hair: 'Ethically Sourced',
Wax: Free Trade Carnuba, Cuban."

V.I.P. VOLTIVE!
"Tussaud's Taps 'Sculptor To The Stars' For Arenas Statue, Best Known For Groundbreaking Lionel Richie Heads. Celebrity Waxman: "I Always Do The Nipples Last."

"Corcoran Agent: Wax Version Of Phil Chenier Bought Property in Chantilly, VA"

All In The Family:
"Gil's Cousin 'Jaavy' Cheered As 'Agent 28' At Local Games"

Gil's Cousin 'Blue' Cheered As 'Agent StuffsPocketsWithMini-TinsOfDintyMooreSoupWhileHisFriendCreates
ADistractionByTheComicBookRack'
At Local 7-Eleven


UN-VALED!
"JaVale McGee Sex Tape Leaked To Internet!
First Celebrity Sex Tape To Be Filmed In IMAX!"

"MARK PRICE: WE CAN CURE PLANTAR FASCIITIS IN OUR LIFETIME!!!!"

Save The Feet!

BUY THE SHIRT!!!!!!!!



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posted by wizznutzz
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