The media is going crazy about HAYWOOD and LEBRON aka CRIMSON and CLOVER aka GOOD TOUCH and BAD TOUCH, acting like suddenly Brendan Todd is Sweeney Todd, somekind of crazed enforcer. CMon now LEBROn v Haywood is Rourke vs Schwimmer my friends we arent blind. IF BTH is ruffing you up, making ya cry "THEY TRYIN TO HURT ME DANNY!" then u know u soft. ALmost makes me wish we were back playing against ANDRES 'DIRTY WAR' NOCIONI. He might have been a filthy Argenitnia whore but at least he could take a kick in the Falklands.
This isnt hard ballin, this is a goddamned Pillow Fight we say! We say its not physical enuff!!!! U r playing for championshoips, not posing for a Ann Geddes calendar!
U want pain try 2 weeks in August in the Mothering Hut with Ken Beatrices night terrors and your forie in a cracked Greedo Pez dispenser !!!!
Verizon Center staff place playoff pillows in arenas seats:
We say Punks jump up get beat down! We say go Cronenburg on they asses, corruption of tha flesh!
We say no more scared pawing at loose skin, cuz U aint no Dwayne Wade and they aint no Star Jones.
Cuz right now Queen james is having his way in the lane, like a bull in a vagina shop.
When he drives lane, its like the goddammed video for "OWner fo a Lonely Heart" by YES: a dude having seizures while a bunch of big eyed reptiles sit around and stare. Cuz Queen james is owning us right now, hes not even owning DeShawn hes just leasing him cuz he doesnt want to be responsible for the oil changes.
And what happened to tha TREACHOROUS THREE???
Twan and Tuff Juice gotta step up, cuz thats what leading men do. Theres a reason they called them books The Hardy Boys Mysteries and not 'The Mysterious Chet' cuz Chet was a role player and his role was to "breathe a sigh of relief" not solve crimez DW DIXon stlye. You dont Die and Get Rich Trying in this league, making your dollars donating at the Sigh bank! And yes Caron was hot at All Star but have we learned nothing from the tragedy of Tim Legler??!!!
And DeShawns not helping things with his talking. Doing the "Cant Feel My Face" gesture when we down 16, that was the most ill advised taunting since Darius the Third of Persia made tha "ARABIAN GOGGLES" gesture to Alexander the Great !!!
We gotta help ourselves right now because the Leagues sure as hell not gonna help us. You ever think with DC hoops like there is some one up above messing with us like they have a giant voodoo doll??
Well thats cuz iuts true, DAVid Sterns up there in his suite with a magic GAMESHARK punching in his special cheat codes, codes like: 23EATWHISSLE, INFINITESOFT, DCMADAMS, PUPLIST, LORENZOSOIL, UPPITYFINEZ, NOMASCOT....
Thats right 'NOMASCOT' cuz ever notice what the hell happened to NBA Mascots? D Stern trying to get rid of em is what. Name me 3 NBA mascots! No Gheorghe Muresan dont count! D Stern got it in for the mascotmen, cuz bottom line is money for D League now, and G Bush came up with his plan for stopping Global Warming and the whole plan is based on reducing global footprint of sportsmascots by 2012 and all other leagues have made changes, like reducing flame retardants, and now The PHilly Fanatic got silver rating for sustainability cuz they remade him out of recycled concession grease, wheat grass and animal hair and he uses his costume to store his own greywater waste which he recycles to power eco-nuetral t-shirt gun but no david stern doesnt want to pay short term cuz he just wants to line his pockets and seek revenge on Abe Pollin for the time back in camp when Abe and Yitzhak told teen counselor Rabbi Cassidy about the possum and the tube of ben gay he had stashed in his sleeping bag. Wiz in 3 M**Therf*kerz!!!!!!!!!!!!