First of our wizards team have gone into RAUL CASTRO mode!!!! They are trying to find someone desperatly who can fill their leaders shoes. All the Castro brothers are having to step up, even Kevin Castro and Ed Begley Jr Castro. Just trying to keep this shit together til a real leader can get back on the court. Tuff Juice has hurt his womb and Gilbert has had double setbacks of knee injury and having production halted on GAZO THE PRANKSTA series due to writers strike.
Everybody is having their troubles. Coach Jordan says about Rookies: "They are like zippers, they are up or down". Dana has her own saying about zippers but its about balls n' teeth know what Im saying Chantilly Boys Club!!!! Well our rookies are also like velcro - once upon a time they seemed like the next big thing. But there is such unstopping joy in watching Nick and Dominic bandy about with their playful smiles. They are like Polar Bear cubs happily ruffhousing in the snow , and they have no idea what global warming is doing to their world like drowning their mother and terrorizing Billy Joels Sagaponack beach house and making penguins queer. Meantime Andray Blatche is having sophmore troubles. He couldnt be more skinny and bipolar if he was 6 OClock. We should call him PAYCHECK cuz hes just trying to get from game to game. Dray is like a brother walking into an old pawn shop: he's either grinnin and winnin cuz hes about to lay down some packet for an Akai HiFi (auto rewind son!) and hes feeling on top of the world --- or hes slinkin in shoulders down, hoodie up full o shame cuz hes about to sell the family sandwich-maker to buy himself a busticket to nowhere.
Meanwhile The Brown Hornet is hurting. we know how much he likes to throw himself into the fight, he likes the hive, the thrill of contact, the sock potchy makes him know hes alive, but AD has taken so much abuse now and its catching up on him. We all love pratfalls, like Mr Bean, but then Mister Bean walks into an episode of OZ, yeah his funny walks make the inmates laugh at first but by the time the credits roll trust me its a place of shaved eyebrows, broken mimes and lost smiles. Meantime hes a drawing of Darius SOngalia aka NARWHAL THE UNICORN SLAYER!!!!
Meantime DeShawn Stevenson aka THE LOCKSMITH has been filling the arena with the clangs of his overconfidence but goddam if he didnt get Steve Buckhantz to ring out a Yabba Dagger Do the other night!!
I love the LOCKSMITH for a name for DeShawn as much as the next man, but I dont really understand what it means???? It means he collects peoples keys so they cant drive correct? But that dont sound like no locksmith to me, that sounds to me like A DESIGNATED DRIVER!!
Roger Mason Junior got some swagger of his own, but Mase has a smooth swagger, u never see the brother sweat. Mase doesnt strut, he slides about like a basketball gumby, he cruises around like hes Radio Rahemm Junior holding one of those old boomboxes that plays LP records and hes lookin cool but also keeping the Newcleus 12 incher from skipping a beat.
Meantime in the game against CHicago last week the announcing team of Flo and Eddie (thats our generic name for all NBA announcing duos that pair a black pro and a white joe) had lots of fun making fun of Big Oily after Andres Nocioni rode him like an albino Orlov Trotter.
Well hey we are all for making fun of foreigners here. especially Andres Nocioni who as we say beforeis one of 3 DIRTIEST PLAYERS OF ALL TIME
He is dirty in mind and body and act and his foul 4skin is like weekold tapas (Tapas: food for pockets NOT men)
Argentina has only given world two things, TORTURE and MEN WHO SMELL LIKE OLD LAMB.
Only way to deal with players like Nocioni aka THE DIRTY WAR is to be dirty back to em and hit em where it counts, right in the Southern PAMPAS!!!!
(If any argnetina people have problems with this writing then why dont you do something about it and invade Wheaton. No Seriously, you should. Wheaton aint not no Falklands. shit the president would probably just let you have it. )
SPeaking of Playfull Commentatorz, good lordy, i suppose you have all seen these videos of Steve and Phil getting all Sam and Frodo and turning Verizon Center into worlds biggest Buddy Booth!
It was most taboo act of affection since Wolf Blitzer and Alan Keyes crossed streams in a Velocity Grill urinal!!!!
Lets take a look!
Steve Buckhantz's Kiss Cam kiss is playful, sweet, and "simply sensational!"
Phil , having been awakened, delivers a lurching, insistent, hungry kiss. Violent! Disturbing!
Which we took ourselves of Phil and Steve during a 1988 Washington Bullets Charity Cruise!
They will probably delete it soon since the Steve Buckhantz Wikipedia Page page is monitored by a force of two hundred webmaster at all times but it reads:
Recently Steve kissed co-commentator Phil Chenier while on the Verizon Center Kiss Cam against the New Orleans Hornets 3/02/08. It was a friendly peck on the forehead. Shape up buckhantz, ya fruit
But while there is new passion between these two sports commentators, there is hi tension these days in the Washington Post sports department!!!!
For months Tony Kornheiser, aka the Hugo Chavez of sports radio, has been launching angry threats and polemics at our boy, the gentle but cunning AGent Steinz, and just when things threaten to explode, TK backed down and drew a cordon sanitaire around Agent Steinz. What in Joe-Jacobys-wife-Irene is a cordon sanitaire??? Hint: its not a french tampon and has something to do with why they dont have GoGo shows in MacLean.
Then all of sudden Michael Wilbon, showing the protective fires of his North Scottsdale working class roots, goes into a blind rage and threatens to BEAT DOWN DAN STEINBERG!!!
This is a fight we would all like to see!!!!
How about it Comcast PPV???!!!
In one corner:
the MSM heavyweight champ, driving around Arizona for a night on the town in his late model Lexus, fresh off a round of golf, with his make up artists in the passenger seat, tipping generously on aged steak.
In the other corner:
the underdog, the calorie restricted blogger whose days begin with rousing a sleeping Unsilent Majority from the backseat of his early-model Fiero, and ends with bailing a shirtless Mike Wise out of jail.
Why not make it a full on Gang War? !!! Straight up Warriors style, out back in the Greveys parking lot, with TK taunting "Bloggers come out and play-ay-ay..."
Wilbon and his crew ,
aka The Old Glories
aka The Mock Turtleneckz:
Don McNabb, MJ, Barkley, Elton John, Woodey Paige
Steinz and his favorite D-listers and sun-blind web ferals: Gilbert, Gilberts cable repairman, Bobby Boz, Brandon Lloyd, The Dead Tree Crew and Susan O'Malley's mom
But it wouldnt even be a fair fight. Sure Wilbon honed his fighting skills beating down choir boys at St. Ignatius College Prep , but the bloggers are Margot Kidder Crazy, they got flyweight frame, heavyweight attitude, they r cagey and desparate, and they fight fast and dirty. While Wilbons boys fight like Skip Prosser, with old fashioned determination, the bloggers fight like Dick Prosser, ready to snap at any moment and unleash psychic violence and repressed fury. WIlbon would step into the fray and next thing he know he got 5 little white boys on his back, choking him with his own Fendi manpurse and clawing at the soft bits while Mitch Albom cries and pleads:
Holding anger is a poison. It eats you from inside. We think that hating is a weapon that attacks the person who harmed us. But hatred is a curved blade. And the harms we do, we do to ourselves.
Here is the two part, official WIZZNUTZZ WILBON v STEINBERG FIGHT RE-ENACTMENT!!