Well of course they do! In Africa its Christmas EVERY DAY with all the celebrity handouts they get while all they do is sit around and wait 4 rain and Starburys.
Africans wake up everyday asking the questions "Did Angelina Jolie steal any of my babies last night??" and then " I wonder what presents the FedEX man will bring from Big Charity today?!!!
Will it be a solar powered laptop? Will it be a second hand WHAM! t-shirt? Will it be Capris Sun purification tablets? Will it be those limited edition Dikembe Mutombo Reebok Relief Pumps(tm) that provide ankle support plus power my village for 6 hours?
There is lots of ignorance about the country Africa. Like did you know that Burkina Faso is a small African country that was colonized in 1982 by former players from the ABA?
Well its true!
Or did you know that the biggest shopping mall in the world is in Sierra Leone? It has no roller coaster in it but it does have Bono in the food court and the only Chesapeake Knife & Tool store to sell AK-47s. (It also has the most profitable branch of Spencer Gifts in the world, even more profitable than the one in Wheaton Plaza, but Wheaton Plaza Spencer Gifts doesnt recognize the SIerra Leone Spencer because they say their popular edible underpants are heavily subsidized by the UN.)
Or did you know that Rap Music was invented in Africa?
Well we do, thats why we were so excited when we got a very special, very rare, 7" record in the mail from one of the godfathers of African Rap...
No not Fear of a Ladysmith Black Planet No not Namibians With Attitude No not America Bambaataa No not even a record from the murderous neo-soul band: Idy! Idi! Idé! No its even more huge than all of those, it was
This Etonic promo joint dropped in 1987, and a legendary producers Hurt Em Bad, helped out Akeem a little. Hurt Em Bads job was to "write" and "perform" the song. You remember Hurt Em Bad - we had their classic song "NBA Rap" this summer. You can read all about that and download it right here on God Shammgods mixtape!
The song Unbeatable Dream is chopped and screwed, Houston style, and featurez Akeem throwing out the truth like Zulu spears:
Seven foot tall with a basketball he slams like he's insane Grand-Master of the NBA but just a novice at the game Dripping with sweat & soaking wet ETONICS on his feet His name's Akeem but he's called the Dream, And I won't accept defeat.
From Africa Olajuwon means striving to the top Twin Tower number 34 The Dream cannot be stopped A warning to the competition throughout the NBA He's going for the MVP, So c'mon make my day
With ETONIC shoes & inside moves he powers to the hoop He takes a pass high above the glass for the one-hand alley-oop And you won't survive on the dribble-drive cause he'll steal it from your bands Think you're hot? Then take a shot and he'll slap it in the stands
Akeem is back with shoes that match in his red white and gold And if you wanna be Number 1 then this is what I'm told Work up a sweat get soaking wet keep striving like Akeem And put ETONICS on your feet, And be just like the Dream
Hurt em bad dropped the ball of coming up with good rimes for ETONIC, rimes like BUBONIC CHRONIC, or MONALO BLAHNIK or MONOPHONIC TONIC.
ALso another thing is clear, them boys have a for real sweat fetish!!! There is no "right" guard for running the moist offense of Hurt em Bad!!!
When people bought copies of Unbeatable Dream, some money went to fight horrible disease called LUPUS.
There is rule for scientists for African diseases: The funnier the name, the more horrible is the disease. Like "Teste Fly". Hilarious. DEADLY. Same is true for Lupus, which is sickness brought by waterborne parasite in africa that goes into brain and makes your head swell up 3 times normal size like character its named for: "Lupus" from Charlie Brown comics.
