Friday, July 06, 2007  

"N.B.A." RAP

Hurt 'Em Bad

12" Single : Groove Tunes Records : 1982
Out Of Print

God Shammgod just sent us a summer care package from china!!!

10 pounds of herpes resistant catifsh and a brand new mixtape!!!

On the mixtape was this super-rare madness "N.B.A. RAP" thats icin like tyson!!!

....The greatest Baller song of all time that dropped into the AM waves with tha heavy authority of a Greevy's potato skin about the time that Agent Zero was first pawing at Gil Srs linen blazer for a fruitfless teat!!

Shoot. Swoop. Loop Da Loop,
Ya take Caldwell Jones to the hoop
I said Slam. Pow. To hear tha sounds
of the swish of the nets from the turnaround

To give the game all that I got,
To never miss a jump shot
To capitalize on their mistakes
To run and gun on the fast break

Its the greatest rimes since Samuel Taylor Coleridge aka "STay COld" freestyled:

In Xanadu did Kubla Khan
A stately pleasure-dome decree:
Up jump thee boogie,
To thy boggie to thee boggie do be

I know "Hurt em Bad" name sounds like some early Nine-Os New Jack Swingaz, but you better smell yourself before ya Ledell yoself cuz:

'NBA RAP' is vintage 1982!!!!

82!!!! Its like the first rap song ever!
All the Kidd n Play Creationists right now be saying "Wait, there were black people in 82??!!!"

Back in 82, rap was young and still experimenting: like a young college freshman David Stern when he moved into his dorm and met new roomate Randy Pontz, the physically confident, sexually adventurous jew warrior from new Paltz with his long legs and short towel

82! Yo to get a sense of how old skool that is, check it on our Hip-Hop NBA timeline:

1982 was:

-2 years before LeBron James was born!

-3 years before Larry Blackmon wore his codpiece outside of the house for the 1st time!!

-4 years before the great Helen Reddy appeared in Fat Boys movie Disorderlies!!

-10 years before Gheorghe Muresan made the Guinness Book for owning the baggiest pair of denim jeans in the world, then set another record that same summer for wearing them backwards at a Kriss Kross concert!

-12 years before Brent Price lost his respect and wife to brother Mark in a heated breakoff

-16 years before "CWebb" released the Gangsta epic 2Much Drama

-22 years before Tyrone "T-Nez" Nesby danced on stage with Peasants and New Democratic Party Union candidate Kazimira Prunskiene at a Lithuanian political rally!!

-25 years before Tony Parker drops coucougnettes and drops "TP"

-35 years before MC Brains is eligible for Rock n Roll Hall Of Fame!!!

All you Youtube SCorcese's dust off your throwback reels and git crackin!!

posted by God Shammgod | | 12:04 PM


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