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Monday, April 02, 2007
 
If Michael Ruffin trying to take out a squirrel in the rafters wasnt exciting enough for you...

Wizards Announce New Playoff SLOGAN:

"THIS THINGS BROKE!!!"

Tuff Juice breaks hand, breaks hearts!
Tha MOD SQUAD hasnt been threatened like this since EPisode 86:


"Suffering from amnesia after getting mugged, Linc wanders the city, unsure as to whether or not he is the escaped mental patient he reads about in a newspaper."
SOunds like Wes Unselds recruiting 1998 recruiting strategy!



WIZ R IN BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINATOWN
They will have to rely now on Agent Zeros streaky combat and COach Jordans "Keys To SUccess" which he unfortunately keeps in something equally streaky:
a Peter Ramos replica Brief Safe!



Is it fate? Is a Curse? Michael Ray Richardson blames that crafty jew Ruben Patterson:

Butler broke his hand while attempting to block a dunk by Ruben Patterson. It was the second time this season that a Wizard was injured when coming in close proximity with Patterson. Arenas injured his right shoulder in a collision with Patterson on Dec. 30. "He's just a rock down there," Arenas said. "He didn't even hit nobody and he broke somebody's hand." .


Who can replace Tuff Juice? ??????

Darius SOngalia???


When it comes to replacing Caron Butler, Darius SOngalia is like Nicole Kidmans forehead: lacking color and rebound!

Maybe BDong can summon the racist pride of his homeland, as seen in this plastic theatre of cruelty:



and his Marijampole COat of Arms



Hi atop his white steed, spearing the dreaded BLACK HUSSAR who symbolizez the hard-working vibrant Somali immigrant interfering with Lithuanias slow determined slide into bleak obsolesence!!

Or IS THE SAVIOR CALVIN BOOTH aka "THA UNDERTAKA"???

Lets hope no. COach Jordan said of Caron:

"You know, you walk down a dark alley, you've got a tough guy with you, you feel tough, too."

Well walking down an alley with Calvin Booth is like walking down the alley with drunk lottery winner Jack Whittaker !!

SPeaking of CALVIN BOOTH, WIzznutzz have unearthed a monumental piece of Cal Booth cinema verite!!!!

It doesnt quite have the naked Brechtian nuance of Jaarkos farewell tribute to Jahidi WHite
Honesty, Friendship, Moomintrolls! "Disturbing" is Finnish for "We Love You!"

And it lacks the brutal neorealism of a Popeye Jones family reunion

But it is compelling in its own right.

Here is story. The man of this website went to College at Penn State and every morning in his dorm bathroom would unfold a drama of naked ambitions and naked roommates, a bald african, a fat guy on a toilet, much angry grooming and an "alarmingly-skinny 6'11" center from the basketball team. (He) Was pigeon-toed and always wore a facial expression suggesting that he was in physical pain. Carried an over-the-shoulder bag that looked like it would pull him to the ground at any moment."

That alarmingly-skinny annd pained center? You guess it!

Yes, A young CALVIN BOOTH!



The resulting masterpiece is more stirring than Qyntel Woods offseason private revivals of GRAND GUIGNOL Shock Theatre....

think Neil Simon meets Harmony Korine...

wizznutzz proudly present a watsoncrombie film:

"THE DORM BATHROOM"

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posted by wizznutzz
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