Byron Mouton profile in WashPo contains more despair and hard truth than my college letter of recomendation from Steve Buckhantz!!!!
ByMou is stranded with a ABA Wilmington Sea Dawgs franchise that has about as much work morale as a Chik-fil-A meat separating plant!
And Abe Pollin considered re-naming the Bullets "Sea Dogs" since bullets kill people. Actually Bullets dont kill people, bullets in guns held in the hands of disgruntled ABA castoffs kill people!
I went to tha Sea Dawgs website and it wuz very clear where the sadness comes from. Its def not from the "Full Service Spa" that sponsors them.
Its from the MASCOT! It all trickles down from the mascot!
The mascot sets tha tone for a franchise! Is it any wonder when "Hoops" was replaced that very night Chris Webber was busted carrying reefer through the airport?
Just Look at DAZZ! The HI-NRG mascot for the Roanoke Dazzle!
Look how happy he is! Look at the winning smile, the captivating othello chip eyes! He is insanely, laugh to yourself at the pre-dawn gates to tha dog track happy!!! And he made the whole team happy! In fact he made them so happy they had to close the the team down for good last year because players were doing things that are so happy they are illegal! Peter "PARTY JOHN" Ramos became like some Puerto Rican Bacchus -- its the best kind of Bacchus because someone once taught all Puerto Rican girls that acid-washed stretch jeans = PRIDE! It was like Le Grande Boeuff: dudes were eating themselves to death on honeyglazed exurban ABA nachos!
But unlike Dazz and his I-get-my-brain-medicine-from-the-National-health-smile, Sea Dawgs mascot "SEA DAWG" is a corrupt, leering, libertine reprobate wrongo canine who hangs out in bars by the bus terminal preying on runaways. Dont let the zany sunglasses fool you! James Woods wears sunglasses. And he keeps them on when he leans over the hookers and "bursts into fulfillment's desolate attic"
Dont u trusst Sea Dawg: hes the kinda dawg that is licking his own crotch but is thinking about your wifes! The Sea Dawgs play games at CAPE FEAR COMMUNITY COLLEGE and Sea Dawg is like DeNiro in Cape Fear movie, a Nietzschean predator with "LOVE" and "HATE" tattooed on his knuckles, creepy! Creepier than Antonio Alfonseca whose got words "JOY, PAIN, SUNSHINE, RAIN" tattoed on his knuckles just cuz he's got enuff knuckles to pull it off!!!
Gil basically "sez dont complain about the amazing christmas lights on the front lawn cuz my skillz pay the electric billz right? "
But the line that popped my chop was:
I used to love when the Bulls played the Jazz and Karl Malone tried to post up Dennis Rodman. One, Dennis Rodman was going to fondle him before actually playing real defense. I realized this at that age. I studied it. It was like, "Oh man, Karl Malone has his hands full tonight."
Because I knew what Rodman was going to do to him, and that's what I wanted to see.
HEY-HO! Gil sounds more breathless than Chet in the middle of a Hardy Boys mystery !!!
Cwebb talks about Big Daddy Kane, his foundation, displays David Sterns slave ledger, and uses phrase "We have the Blood of kings through our veins!" which is sharing those veins with "The Cheese of a Baja Fiesta Stuffed Potato"!!!!!
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And best of all...
SUperfan KYLE G sends in this astounding careers clip:
Ledell Eackles is a partner in installing basement home theatres!!! Ledells specialty is "wiring" and he got his experience in the field from erasing deli security tapes for cousins and from living in basements!!! Plus his lack of a neck helps for negotiating lo-ceilings! Ledell already has an order from Coach Jordan to build a replica of the Jeopardy! set in Coach Jordan's basement, only every single question is about the sitcom "227"!!
