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Wednesday, December 13, 2006
Man with the Wiz having a few down time days youd think theyd spend it hiding in the shadows like an Ipswich prostitute but NO! the offcourt japes go into high gear!!!

First Agent BOG goes Tubbs-deep cover on assignment to track the DUCKWAGON(tm) aka wizards team charity bus as it made stops around poor DC handing out presents!!!

The locals were thrilled to see their heros! Some of the locals werent so thrilled!! A few of them remember the charity bus from 1999 and yelled

"YO is STRICKLAND ON THAT BUS???!!!? I got a present for Strickland right here!"

Thats Edutainment!!

This is best time of year for Wizards franchise. In offseason Abe tells braintrust: get me a charity army! Thats why the Ike Austin trade. Thats why James Lang so confused after preseason tryout when he is asked to stay after practice and carve meats!

Some hi-lites of Awesome story:

The are "lots of kids roaming around with "Agent 0" t-shirts"

Cheap counterfeit Agent 0 Tees are like the new Camel-cash clothing for poor people fashion!!! Soon Angelina Jolie be throwing them off the van by the crate in MUMBAI!

"Antawn had two kids in his arms outside the apartment, and Abe Pollin was chatting with Kisha..."

"Santa chased Michael Ruffin's three-year-old son Javon around the yard. "C'mere you little Ruffian"

When ABe Pollin aka Mister Drummond and his henchman Wes Unseld aka "SANTA funnyHANDS" come to the ghetto the kids know to run! run run run! They know the sack is soon to follow. They call Abe and Wes "The Gobblers" cuz when they roll by kids "getting scholarships" aka disappearing for good!!!

"Look, he a monster," one kid said about G-Wiz.
"No he's not," a woman said.

"Yes I am," said GWiz quietly

4.Best of ALL!!!!

"When the Wizards fans saw someone else; "Darvin Ham!" someone said!!!!
"Wait, did someone just say Darvin Ham?" I asked.
They were pointing at Michael Ruffin. His arms were filled with presents. I was trying to stop laughing. I asked if he's gotten that before.
"What, Darvin Ham?" he said. "Yeah. Yup."
"Why don't you tell them who you are?" I asked.
"They'll figure it out sooner or later," he said.
"Who keeps talking about Darvin Ham?" I asked the fans.
"That's my man!" one fan said. "You played for Duke, didn't you?" he asked Ruffin.
"I'm not Darvin Ham," Ruff said.

ITs easy to remember kids:

Ruffin is the big hearted, undersized bench man who is a dreadfully afriad of squirrels

while Darvin is the big hearted, undersized bench man who is the former Minister of Agriculture for the Phillipines! !!!


It's a baby boom for the Washington Wizards. Three of the team's women-behind-the-men are currently great with child: Antawn Jamison 's wife, Ione; Gilbert Arenas 's girlfriend, Laura Govan; and assistant general manager Milt Newton's wife, Shalaun....

On Friday, the three were celebrated in fabulous NBA-wife style with a lavish baby shower thrown by Charrisse Jackson Jordan (wife of Coach Eddie Jordan) and Keisha Booth (wife of center Calvin Booth) at the Jordans' Potomac home.


(Tho Keisha Booth was just their for support. She found out she cant have children ever since the Doctors sat her down and told her:

"Your husband is in fact a giant wooden cigar-store indian, Mrs Booth.")

Also at the babymama shower there were Laura Govans legal team: "Rothchild, Waterman, and Hibachi"!!!!

Lots of formewr players sent presents to the ladies:

Rod Strickland sent in giftwrapped baby vienna sausgaes...

Sister Christian Laetner send it some Kiehls groomning products on behalf of the Church of Machosensual Sciences...

Brevin Knight passed out Bellini gift certficiates...

And Brendan Haywoods girlfriend gave each mom-to-be some fancy pink, silk lingerie but OMG so embarrassed when Ione Jamison squealed cuz she noticed brown marks on hers and horrified Countess Von Skidmarck screamed "BREEEENNNDAN!!!!"

Also Susan O'Malley showed up "pregnant" . Her belly wasnt real (her blouse was stuffed with Mitch Richmond bobbleheads) but her tears were, and her runningmakep gathered on her cheeks like dew in the cold mornings of ambition. "IM a Mommy Too!!!!" she cried and the girls took pity on her and gave her a bathrobe and a double scotch.

The the girls too a break from the japes:

They did, however, take a moment to pay tribute to those who made it all possible -- flipping on the TV to watch their men stun the 76ers, 113-98. "They would all cheer, 'That's my baby! That's my boo!' " one lucky guest told us. "Then they clicked it off and went back to partying."

If Keisha Booth was yelling those things it must have been a 20-second timeout!!!

Then they opened the rest of the presents. When Laura Govan opened a gift from Coache's wife, it was an adorable little toddler bumble-bee costume!!! AWWWWW so cute! yelled the girls but laura shook her head

"Gilberts not gonna let me bring this in the house. These kind of baby animal suits freak him out. You should see him. he chases Izela Semaya around the house sometimes yelling 'Im Anne Geddes! Im Anne Geddes! Anne Geddes gonna getcha!' til the poor thing is screaming. Gilbert had it tough growing up you see. When he was younger, he remember being forced into a little panda suit. Jahidi White need 4 guys to help hold him down while they did it on the back of the team bus. hes never forgotten that."

The big question going around wizznutzz HQ these days is:

What will Agent 0 call his new baby???

Word is Laura chose "Izela" and deal is Gil gets to name #2. On top of his list right now:

For a boy: GOEMON! and if its a girl; Princess Toadstool!!

Hope on the comments and give Gil some suggestions!

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posted by wizznutzz