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Tuesday, December 19, 2006
 


A Furious Dispatch From Our Intern August Strindberg!

The frauditity is fraudulent, much like the she-succubus who lures one into her she-void with muttony aromas only to bestow a lifetime of soiled overcoats. I speak of course of this Morris James sham, a rotting embryo of manhood. His incites are blind, his nicknames are nickel-plated, and his overcoat knows not the stench of Strickland. Why, this newcomer carpetbagging Johnny-come-lately could not even hoist a cheeseboot, even if said cheeseboot were to be emptied of cheese.

A flare has been fired and the crystals embedded in our palms are aglow -- all interns must assemble, from all corners of the globe and Silver Spring.

I mounted a steed in Norra Begravningsplatsen and rode like the wind, until the furious saddle chafing aggravated a bed sore. Infection set in and I was forced to stop in Vilnius, where Brother Nesby rubbed a soothing balm (two parts coca, one part bacon grease) into my throbbing loins. I remounted, but my decaying nag broke down in Caucus Mountains and I had no choice but to crawl within her fetid carcass for protection from the harsh winds of the steppe.

It is from within from said carcass that I write now, but August is not vanquished! I have not felt such vim since my youth, since dark Sabrina, she of the bangles and curls and chlamydia! I will soon reach Landover, joining my brethren Jarkko, Dana, Chenier's Ghost, all my mates-in-arms, and justice shall be ours! Our overcoats shall be splattered with the blood of the infidel, and Buckhantz will insert the final dagger.

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Ride fast August! Tie up your horse at Spencers Gifts!

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posted by wizznutzz
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