So awesome to be back at the Circuit City watching a fresh season eagerly and awkwardly unfold like Manute Bol emerging from a RideOn! I had forgotten they joys of Antwans mouse-in-gluetrap defense, and forgotten how fantastically large is Jarvis Hayes head! Him and Jonas must have been like Punch and Judy in hi skool!
But mostly I forgot how much I hate Cleveland!!! How I hate LeBron clapping mitts in a cloud of chalk like hes at the Gymkata auditions and the perfectly oblong choclaty goodness of eric snows milk dud head and the way Varajeos greasy dog hair tussles to and fro like the tips of a pine tree when you are trying to shake out the racoon eggs (they say racconns dont have eggs but thats why they are so valuiable!) and i forgot how greedy and streaky and scrappy Larry Hughes aka Cold Mountain's game is. He picks up his points cheap n easy like a kid snatching loose change off the street where it was scattered from the pockets of an old man who was just hit by a car.
And i forgot how much i hate the whole city of cleveland. SO you got LeBron james big deal hes only special because you have absolutely nothing else in your city to be proud of. I got a live wombat in my basement since last christmas but im not selling tickets for it. All you got is Queen james and a population of cashed-up box factory managers, and the worlds largest pair of stain resistant khakis and a RACIST rock and roll "hall of fame" that celebrates old cracker rockers that stole their beats strictly cold skool from the black man. Every damn year MC Brains comes up for eleigibility and gets no votes!!!! Do the right thing cleveland, dOnt make MC Brains the Buck O'Neil of rock and roll Hall of Fame!!!
And I love how there is talk of Cleveland making finals! HAHAHAHAHAH. thats like all the talk of Eddie Jordan's "PRinceton " offense. Theres no princeton offense how many years we wtell you that?! YOu show me one video of a backdoor play or a bounce pass in lane or a big man with an assist or a whiteguy and Ill show you a video of Jim Lynam killing a horse with his bare hands! (yes i KNOW there is one already on youtube but that horse was obviously drugged)
Free Darko also said "Gilbert is the cuddliest gunner who ever was, [and] is waiting for the game to catch up to his reasoning" but Free Darko fondles Agent Zero with frontrunning paws - WITNESS: Free Darko tried to purchase the domain name from us "steveblakeupskirt.edu" in 2002!!!
While we wait for Agent Zero to find his game under the cushions of his couch we work hard on WebTV to make...