The Oct. 23 issue of ESPN the Magazine of ESPN the TV of ESPN the Radio of ESPN the Former Mobile Phone Provider of ESPN.com has a story on Agent Zero. It's more of the Arenas legend rehashed, the kind of steaming pile of hot chunky hash that a mother bird regurgitates for her young after putting it through her gizzard. But there's a few nice scenes between Gilbert and Gilbert Sr. on the set of The Black President's new Adidas commercial.
Gilbert is shown picking bugs out of Gil Sr.'s hair.
Then he and Sr. are shown laffin' about it!!!! Ha haahaa!!!! "Philip Michael Thomas used to do that exactly bug picking thing to Don JOhnson on the set of Miami Vice," said Gil Sr., so Gil Jr. started mad mugging!!! Always joking!!!! Good times between Miami Vice stars!!!
Here are the two best excerpts from the ESPN article, typed up by our good friend Mavis Bacon!!!
***** As the commercials' director signals everyone to take his place, Gilbert Sr. explains his philosophy of parenting. Growing pensive, he lets out a half sigh. "My own father never had time for me," he says. "He was to busy chasing skirts." Gilbert pops up off the cooler. "Sounds like a good idea to me," he says mockingly.
Another thoughtful moment blindsided by the Big Kid. Gilbert Sr. can't get too worked up; he knows he's partly to blame: "I created Gilbert in my own image, a little version of me. [NOTE THE FAMILY'S LOVE OF HAVING CHILDREN AND GIANT BOBBLEHEADS CREATED IN HIS OWN IMAGE!!!!!] And I never want him to be unhappy." If that means sacrificing virtually every Hallmark moment, so be it.
After several takes, Gil lifts up his shirt to reveal an elaborate, stunning [EMPHASIS OURS!!!!] tattoo of a tiger's head that stretches from pecs to naval. A touch of swelling [EMPASIS OURS!!!!] announces it was done just the night before. It stops Gilbert St. in his tracks. For the first time this day, he is speechless. Finally, he musters a disapproving, "What the hell is that?"
"That's the eye of the tiger," says Gilbert.
"Eye, my ass! Is it permanent?" His expression is one of pure dismay as he comes closer to inspect the artwork [EMPHASIS OURS!!!!].
"Look of disappointment on your father's face," Gilbert says, not missing a beat. "Priceless."
The elder Arenas decides its better to turn and walk away. But after taking two steps toward his trailer, he swivels abruptly, clearly hoping the cat has scampered off his son's torso. "What are you going to do when you take your jersey off after the game?" he asks.
"I'll have a shirt on underneath so no one will see it," his son insists. Unconvinced, Dad walks off. As he does, he delivers his parting shot: "Dwayne Wade would never do that." [EMPHASIS GILBERT SR.!!!!!!!!!!!!!]
**** The other main nugget from the article concerns The Assassin on marriage: "I don't want to get married unless they change the marriage laws. You should have to sign a marriage contract for no more than five years, with an option to opt out."
The Stealth's Baby Mama will surely be happy to read those quotes!!!!!
In the final photo from the ESPN article, Gilbert is shown wearing a body suit that he hopes will become the Wizards' third-alternate uniform. But what's up with the Who Farted Dude on the far right?!?!?!!!