Open Season is Now Closed
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
 

And So Passes Queen Le-Bron-a-Bron From Aka-ron, Son of the Northern Ungulates.

Sadly, the playoffs lost the Clippers last night. It was fun routing for LA's other basketball team. Seeing as how the cellular biologist in the Clipper Research Labs aren't discussing splitting the nucleus it looks like the league may need to find a replacement for the Clippers of the West.

The obvious frontrunners would be the Golden State Clippers. Things just haven't been the same in Oaktown since the days of Run TMC. Unfortunately, meet and greets with MC Hammer and Shock-G (the one who put the satin on your panties - who incidentally I think is also the name of the team's mascot) before games at "The Arena" (they can't even find a company that want's to buy the naming rights to where they play) in Oakland just haven't gone over well with bay area hoops fans. No slight to the skills of the man who brought us the modern day cross-over dribble, Optic Whitey, and Mr. Fizzle, but it's not like those guys did much with the team either. Remebering back, it seemed like at least half of the 90's perenial playoff teams from the west made it to the finals or at least the western finals, all except for the Golden State Clippers.

I wonder if Mulls and Bols are still BFF? Probably not. With Chris's squeaking clean image and puritanical values I think he'd have trouble putting up with Manute's penchant for wife beating, daughter slapping, self loathing and whoring himself on the ice hockey rink. Something tells me that their oversized and double stuffed oreo bonds of friendship have splintered.

Of course, the Warriors weren't the worst team in the West this year, that would be Portland Juandixons, but looking at the number of year's the team's been struggling multiplied by Calbert Cheaney being the team's franchise player plus bogus promo deals for season ticketholders involving free leg shaves by Mike Dunleavy and year supplies of Noodle-Roni equals new Clippers of the West. And just to solidify their standing as the New Clippers of the West we can pretty much bank on the team squandering another draft pick this year - just like last year when the team selected Ike Diogu(???).

Without a doubt, the Warriors are vying hard to fill the void left by the rise of the LA Clippers.

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posted by Popeye "The Pearl" Duckworth
6 Comments | Permalink | Wizznutzz.com | RSS Feed

6 Comments:

Juan's Dixon your mouth!

(As a Terp alumnus, I feel a Pavlovian compulsion to say that every time someone mentions Juan, just like Juan feels a compulsion to wash every surface of his kitchen 34 times prior to cooking in it.)

By Rex Immensae Majestatis Chapman, at 8:22 AM  

chris mullin did bad bad things to those small children...

By Unsilent Majority, at 9:34 AM  

they made cheaney "Calbey Franchise" becasue they mistook his expression for the face of a competitor when really its just the face of a sad guy.

By darvin, at 9:52 AM  

Muls's Creamy White Thighs do bad things to anyone who gazes upon them.

By Popeye "The Pearl" Duckworth, at 1:32 PM  

If they really wanted Calbert as their franchise player, they should have just traded with the Bullets in that draft instead of trading w/ Orlando for Mace Webber.

Of course, they also could have selected Terry Dehere like the real Clippers did.

Maybe we need a Wizznutzz Mock 1993 NBA Draft. I would at least swap the Washington picks of Calbert and Muresan from rounds 1 and 2. Also, I would have probably drafted the rights to the guy from P.M. Dawn.

By Lamont Trellington, at 6:42 AM  

OK so "PM DAWN" is now the new nickname for Agent Zero cause of his sleep anxieties or maybe should be nickname for Juan Dixon after the dish detergent he uses during his antiseptic siestas!

By darvin, at 11:03 AM  

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