More Executive Cakes, Summer Malaise, and the Wilbon-Salieri-Mike Wise Connection in O'Malleygate
Monday, May 22, 2006
 
Congratulations go out to Washington DC native Elgin Baylor, who won GM of the Year. The real breaking news is that Donald Sterling rewarded his achievement by presenting him with a cake! Good scoop, Wilbon! Somewhere Irene Pollin is quietly accepting that her husband has been marginalized on the national pastry scene.

I know a lot of Bacon readers have been complaining about Mike Wise. And I can empathize. It's not enough to have to see his smug headshot in the Post every other day, but you also have to deal with his complete ignorance of Washington sports history, since he is a NY transplant and doesn't really have any frame of reference for his oft-inaccurate musings. However, I know the secret of how this hack worked his way into the local sports columnist fiefdom. Brace yourselves for some real Haywood and Bernstein investigative stylings....

In the days leading up to Abe Pollin's confrontation with Salieri, a conspiracy was brewing in the bowels of MCI Center. It seems that Susan O'Malley was upset with some negative coverage in the Post, who printed some disparaging remarks from MCI tenant and resident Executive Nacho enthusiast Ted Leonsis.

O'Malley was going to leak the news of Salieri's impending whacking to another news outlet in order to spite the Post. Spiting the Post! Yet another way she was at least two years ahead of Daniel Snyder (in addition to the marketing genius of her 1998 promotion "Dewey Beach Blitz with Rod Strickland"). Anyways, O'Malley decided that she was outsourcing the Salieri job to a young NY lackey named Mike Wise.

This great piece in the Washingtonian documents some of the actual wheeling and dealing, and features some effusive Mike Wise praise from none other than Michael Wilbon. Exceptionally fascinating since he is, in effect, praising O'Malley's triggerman in the Salieri character assasination. And we know how devoted Wilbon is to Salieri. He is a Salieri disciple on a Franz Schubert scale. Although I realize that, on the surface, the only thing Wilbon appears to have in common with Schubert is that he will die in a syphilitic-induced delirium.

The biggest revelation in the Washingtonian expose' may be that Wilbon feels Wise is "the best basketball writer in the country." Somewhere, someone we all know is reading these words and swelling with rage. Poetic rage.

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posted by Lamont Trellington
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3 Comments:

The Unfinished Symphony > "Pardon the Interruption"

"Death and the Maiden" > Every column Michael Wilbon has ever written, even if they are printed on 24-lb bond paper and stacked one on top of each other to make a majestic tower

19th-century syphilis > 21st-century syphilis

However, Schubert was a notably less accomplished jock rider than Wilbon. If Schubert had ridden Beethoven's jock as hard as Wilbon rides Salieri's, we'd be reading reviews of the operatic masterwork "Fidelio II: Return of the Mack" today.

By Rex Immensae Majestatis Chapman, at 6:12 AM  

Too bad Casey Husband wasn't on the local radar yet. He could have gilded the proverbial lilly better than a Marv Albert defense attorney.

By Schoenfeld's Donut, at 7:52 AM  

Casey Husband was starring in an off-Broadway production of Hairspray at the time.

By Lamont Trellington, at 8:23 AM  

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