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Thursday, May 04, 2006

"Hi, I'm Queen James. If you call me for a foul, I will scowl and pout and look all gassy and act like you've just called my mom a felon. Really, though, I'm perfect. In fact, when I take a dump it comes out wrapped in a giftbox and smelling of lavender."

Wiz lose in a sickening groaner not seen since Ken the Intern left open the bathroom door after a long night spent on "Fajita Coast." Antawn let Queenie drive past him like he was the saloon door in a whorehouse WHICH HE IS. "Hi, I'm Antawn. My favorite band is Trapdoor Fucking Exit." Arrrgh, I hate when the SELF HATE comes out. I love you, 'TWAN!! I think there's a future for you as a greeter at Wal-Mart!!!!

BUT IT'S NOT OVER!!! Over? Did you say "over"? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no! Was it over when Wes Unseld traded Chris Webber for Mitch Richmond, Otis THorpe and a bag of expired half-smokes? HELL NO! Was it over when Manute Bol opened his restaurant on U St. and closed it soon after because of a lack of patronage due to his inability to sufficinetly rally D.C.'s African community to dine out regularly on Sudanese Executive Nachos? HELL No!!! HE BROUGHT PEACE TO SUDAN THROUGH ICE HOCKEY.

Was it over when Cold Mountain actually started to make his jumpers and when King Dud Eric Snow turned into a Salieri-like scoring machine and Queen James drove past two Wizards like they were road pylons and then nobody on the Wiz had the presence of mind to call a timeout, advance the ball to half court, and run a set play (INCITE!!) ? Yeah, pretty much. BUT WE GOT FRIDAY!!!

So between now & then, you SUPERFANZ gotta write the NEW "Bullets Fever"!!! Rally the team with an EXTREME PUTDOWN REMIX!!!! Here's the tres tres poignant a capella version of "Queen James," the song that blowing up the iNternets. First one who can time-stretch this bitch into a consistent time signature and add some bangin' beats gets a FREE TRIP TO THE MOTHERING HUT!!!
Right click below to download:
"Queen James" (a capella)

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posted by wizznutzz