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Wednesday, May 31, 2006
 
HEADLINE! HEADLINE!

Gilbert Arenas Arrested!



AGENT ZERO IS PRISONER ZERO!!!



All hell breaks loose in SOuth Beach! Awvee Storey runs into traffic, Gilbert says "not without my daughter!", crowd screams "Hey look thats Gilbert Arenas! His butler has run into the street!" COPs shackle the President, Jared Jeffries drops to his knees and screams "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" but nobody hears him because Jared is in Vietnam with his dad on a summer trip and his dad has just sold him into a game of russian roulette for 10000 DOng!!!

"Hey Pops what are you doing, lets get out of here really im scared"
"Di-Di MAO!! Di-Di MAO!!"
"I dont know what that means Dad! The war is over dad, Please can we leave I dont like this!"
"MAO! MAO!"

SO WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE!

Now knee jerk sports analists all over are slamming gilbert for saying "Im a basketball player you cant arrest me" taking his quote totally out of context, and Mike and Mike aka espns CHUBB AND CHASER radio duo giving Agent 0 the "just shut up award" - eff you windchumps, you have knee jerk incites, you only have 10 opinions in life and they are on a revolving sports Viewmaster(tm) and you just rotated the viewmaster to the picture that says "I HATE YOUNG BLACK MILLIONAIRES"

QUESTIONS:

1st of all, its 3 am Gilbert, shouldnt you be at home playing HAlo???!!!

Second,
"Im not leaving my teammate"????
What does he think this is, Red Dawn???
Its Awevee Storey!! Hes not your temmamte 4 much longer! in 2 weeks hes gonna be Lil' Reggie's teammate busboying at Appleebees!

What does Gilbert think this is some '06 Bonnie and CLyde shit??:

Look for me! Young, RV
Cruisin down the westside - high, way
Doing what we like to do - our, way
But today, I got my shortest Storey wit me
I'm mashin the gas, he's grabbin the wheel, it's trippy how hard
He rides with me - the new Bobby and Whitney
Only time we don't speak is during "West WIng"
He gets Presidential fever, but soon as the show is over
He's right back to being my soldier
Cuz Miami's a rider, and I'm a roller
Put us together, how they gon' stop both us?
What ever he lacks, I'm right over his shoulder
When I'm off track Miami is keepin me focused
So let's, lock this down like it's supposed to be
The '06 Bonnie and Clyde, Zee' and RV

Gilbert dont you know Bonnie and Clyde didnt end well? Warren Beatty got shot full of holes, and Faye Dunnaways fate was even worse, she married rock star Peter Wolf in 1974. A teenaged Jeff Ruland felt betrayed, and burned his J Geils denim jacket!!!!





Third:
"Resisting Without Violence"
What kind of charge is that?
If that was a real law theyd have evidence on Brendan Haywood to lock him away for life!
These r the kind of crap laws that cops are cracking down on ever since SHAQ muscled Gundy Van Sapien aka SGT BARGEARSE out of town and became sherriff!!


FOurth question:
Will the Black President pardon himself??

Fifth:
Why was Awvee Running into traffic for???

Was he trying to find his jump shot?
Did he miss sitting on a hard bench with other men?
Did he hear about the bumper vintage of Jahdi Whites Pruno reserva correctional wine???



Was he up 5 days straight with Agent Zero and zero winks playing Grand Theft Auto Vice City and thought he was still in the game simulacrum and could just boost a car?

Maybe he was trying to escape??? Was Agent Zero keeping him prisoner?
We know Gilbert has a history of violence against RV, like when he hosed him down on the crapper and when he drop kicked him for laughs. What was that all about? I say NO to prisoner theory, i think Gilbert was hazing RV or was just flirting with him in his Chikity Choko the Chocolate Chicken the Real Coq Diesel ways, because Gil would look to RV sitting there with the DNP dancers on the GROUP W bench with his 10 day contract and Gilbert developed a sweet old SNUB CRUSH on short Storey!!!

SIxth:
Is it true reports that say Gilbert had a massive maze of tattoos on his back and maybe this was like the show Prison Break and he had mapped out the escape in a tattoo to free Tru Wariors Chico Debarge and Rod Strickland?? No truth on this one says Miami PD, they say Chico and Rod are not in their jails and that Miami CSI checked the tattoos and they are actually the complete cheat codes for Banjo Kazooie . WHo knows the truth? I know the truth that in the Big House its better to be a 'BAnjo' than A 'Kazooie' if u know what Im saying!

WHO KNOWS WHAT GOING DOWN IN SOW BEACH???

One man knows

Thats right if anyone knows the criminal streets of Miami its GILBERT ARENAS SENIOR, former Miami Vice extra and current deep-cover very-plain clothes volunteer detective.

We have talked about Gilbert Seniors crime fighting ways in startling incites

HERE
HERE

and
HERE

Heres what Gil Senior had to say when we contacted him:

"OK first of all , I'm not going to say on the record that this is corruption, but like they say, 'If it smells like a duck...' and this one stinks. All I know is, if they were serious about this they would have ordered some speedboats. We all know this isn't about a couple of basketball players. This goes deeper than that. This goes to the drug lords, this goes all the way to Calderone. And anybody who knows a jai alai about Miami crime knows if you are going to bring down a drug lord, you're gonna need you some speedboats. They will deny it, but I'm on the case, deep cover. So deep sometimes I don't even know my own name. I'm gonna bring Calderone down. I can feel it coming in the air tonight oh Lord. Ive been waiting for this moment, all my life. It's gonna be like a Michael Mann movie you know, just two men locked in a battle, the hunter and the hunted. No wives, no girlfriends, no room for complications, because we are two men with a destiny like two uncaged animals. Two strong, cunning men, mano a mano, man on man. I will track Calderone through the streets, my streets, through the seediest back alleys of Miami. He will feel the hot weight of me bearing down behind him. I can see the sweat running down his back, breathing deep, the sole spotlight from a police chopper illuminates the steam rising of our full, dark lips. I can smell him, he knows whats coming, he's teased me but now he knows what's coming, I track him to the abandoned high school, through the halls, to the men's room. We are in the men's room now, I look under the stalls, I see nothing. But the hunt is reaching its end, I am swollen with anticipation. I kick open the first stall. Nothing. My nostrils flare. I kick open the second stall - nothing. The third, the fourth, my heart quickens. Finally just one final door stands between me and my flushed man quarry. I push the door open with my barrel.
"Turn around"
"You'll never take me"....

Just as Gil Sr guessed, The Miami PD does deny it!!!!!

"Mister Arenas is in no way affiliated with the Miami Police Department. He does not work in any capacity for any recognized law enforcement organization, now or ever. "Ronaldo Stubbs" is not an officer with the Vice Squad. Ronaldo Stubbs is not a real person. If the Miami Police Department was undertaking an undercover operation at this, or any other time, it would certainly not involve a 300 pound black man in pastel capris. Miami is a colorful place and Arenas is a big, colorful, guy. The tourists love his stories, and the kids like to see him talking into that big broken cellphone. But he knows the rules around here, NO police scanners, and NO hanging about in the public toilets."

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