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Thursday, April 27, 2006
 


Well Game Two proved what we at the wizznutzz have long known, Gilbert Arenas, and not LeBron James, is the second coming, the savior, the series MVP.

AND NOW WE HAVE PROOF!!!!!

The Wizznutzz contacted some of americas biggest brains:

AWESOME REAL MATH PROFESSORS!!!

and asked them to PROVE THAT "ZERO" (gilbert) IS GREATER THAN "23" (LeBron)

As we expected, unlike the Ike Austin Cheeseboot(TM), it turned out to be an EZ challenge for science.

Let me stress, these guys are REAL MATHMEN, they are not people we made up like "Ledell Eackles" and "Tyrone Nesby".

This is TRUE HARD SCIENCE, you cant argue with it, but i am sure they will on ESPN because ESPN is full of Young-Earth Creationists who believe that Adam and Eve and Dinosaurs and Hubie Brown all lived together on earth 6000 years ago.


THE PROOF:




Prof. Jeff Hakim (PhD)
Department Chair
American University
Number Theory, Harmonic Analysis



In mathematics, if you have two numbers A and B and if A times B is zero then you say:

"A annihilates B."

So zero is the special number that has the property that it annihilates all other numbers.

In particular, 0 times 23 equals 0 so, in a mathematical sense, if you put zero together with any other number, the other number is annihilated, but zero survives.







Assoc. Prof. Michael Moses (PhD)
George Washington University
Logic, Recursive Model Theory,
Computational Complexity


Surprisingly, given your otherwise impressive erudition, you show, by questioning the veracity of the mathematical statement '0 > 23', an unfortunately too common mathematical ignorance. The statement (that 0 is greater than 23) is a long established, if little known, fact, credited to the almost legendary early U.S. mathematical team of Bolyai 'Bud' Abbot and Lobachevsky 'Lou' Costello:

THEOREM: 0 > 23

PROOF:

Consider the product 16 x 4 (using 'long' multiplication):

16
x 4
______
24 (i.e. 4x6)
4 (i.e. 4x1)
______
28

i.e. 16 x 4 = 28.

It follows from this (by subtracting 4 from both sides) that

16 x 4 - 4 = 28 - 4
i.e. 16 x 4 - 4 = 24, which is 1 more than 23
i.e. 16 x 4 - 4 > 23

and therefore, since multiplication is 'distributive',

16 x (4 - 4) > 23
i.e. 16 x 0 > 23
i.e. 0 > 23

END OF PROOF







Asst. Prof. Joshua Lansky
American University
Number Theory, Representation Theory



0 = 0 + 0 + 0 + ...
= (24 - 24) + (24 - 24) + (24 - 24) + ...
= 24 - 24 + 24 - 24 + 24 - 24 + 24 - ...
= 24 + (-24 + 24) + (-24 + 24) + (-24 + 24) + ...
= 24
> 23.


Or this:

1/2 < 1 so log (1/2) < log (1).

But log (1) = 0 so log (1/2) < 0.

Now multiply both sides by 23/log (1/2).

Lo and behold you get 23 < 0.






Prof. James Sandefur (PhD)
Georgetown University
Mathematics Reform, Applications of Mathematics



Let x be this playoff series.

From the first game (or first 2 depending on tonight), 23 owns the series so
x=23.

Now multiply both sides by x, giving
x^2=23x.

Bring everything to the left, giving
x^2-23x=0

Factor
x(x-23)=0

Divide by x-23, giving
x=0.

So the series will eventually be Arenas.

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