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Thursday, April 27, 2006


Last nite wizz won and they won because they were hard ballin, they got phyzical, there was more corruption of the flesh than when David Cronenburg made 'Existenz', aka the Robert Pack Story!

The Space Eater started things off with the first hard foul of his career, that left him so shaky, he called travelling on himself and went to the lockerrom and vomited.

Another career first: Antwan diving for a ball like it was a bale of august tobacco

Then LeBron gors to the rack against Caron and Caron says UH UH ., Daft Punk isnt playing ion MY HOUSE and then claps his hands and mocks the king, TSK TSK TSK like he was Skippy The Kangaroo!

Jared Jeffires had busier hands than Maury Povich at the Interns Picnic!

Michael Ruffin hung up on the bough and turned it away. Even though he was scared he closed his eyes and says: I Have No grudge against you Mister Squirrel but there are no nuts for you in this nest please go about your business elsewhere and do not bother us here no more!

And Agent Zero came out ready to play, u knew he would cause B4 the game he gathered with trinaer Steve Stricker to do the mantra:

Steve: What are your legs?
Zero: Talons. Yellow talons.
Steve: What are they going to do?
Zero: Hurl me down the court.
Steve: How fast can you run?
Zero: As fast as a chicken
Steve: How fast are you going to run?
Zero: As fast as a chicken.
Steve: What Kind of CHicken?
Zero: A chocolate chicken
Steve: Then let's see you do it.


Best thing about it all, was did you see the looks on Lebrons teammates as the game slipped away as LeBron turned it over again and agin? That look was helpless look, look of impotence. Ive seen that look before!I thought, its the Bill Cartright look! Its the look of Will Perdue! Its the look of Nicodemus! Its the look you see when you r driving down the country road and you see a broken down school bus and all the kids are huddled on the shoulder staring at you blankly while the social studies teacher hopelessly looks under the hood, but you cant stop and pick them up, because you know you can only fit 4 kids, or 2 of the fat kids, and the fat kids will snoop through your ninja magazines and ask about the old cabbage with the hole in it, cause the fat ones ALWAYS ask questions.

Theres been alot of talk about Bearing Witness to the Savior LeBron but if last night didnt proove hes not jesus than we have proof:

1. As Gene SHue rightfully pointed oput, JESUS SAVES, but when Lebron saves, he saves it right to Gilbert Arenas

2. Jesus drove the money-changers from the temple so he would never share the backcourt with Larry Hughes

3. If LeBron was Jesus he would have cured PJ Ramos in game 1

4. The Magi never caried Sprite b/c they couldnt keep it cold and you couldnt afford to have hypoglycemic rebound in the desert plus it made the mules angry

5. Jesus could take a Hard FOUL.
Mad Max made a whole highlight reel of all the hard fouls JC took, it was called PAssion of The Christ!!!!

6. We all know God made the world in 7 Days, and on the 8th day, he relaxed at Jerry Stackhouses beach rental, and God told JStack that LeBron james was no son of his.

(Though Christian Laettner claimed later that he was there too and that it wasnt actually GOD but Shawn kemp, who thought he was god because he had cut his PCP with flameretardant felt and that he didnt acutally deny that James was his son but just said that he wasnt paying the child support.But can you trust Sister Christiian? yes hes religious man, but the religion is the Church of the Machosensual Sciences which belives in the KIEHL"S BIRTHING METHOD and thinks that Sadness should be cured not by anti-depressant medicines but by a rigorous grooming regimen, he even made a PSA about that one)

Bonus Incite:

Cleveland has racist fanz.Im not talking about the guy who attacked Coach but there was a guy in the very front row last nite wearing a "VOTE FOR PEDRO" Tshirt! What do you think that SPANISH PEOPLE ARE FUNNY???? Sure they all have silly moustaches and have brains like small children but show some sportsmanship, dont HATE

In post game press conference Coach Jordan wondered allowed if his Billy Thomas substitution would be remembered as one of "greatest blunders in NBA History", his words not mine!

Coach worries about his job security way too much! This is coaching the wizards for godsake! Its not like its Pattie LaBelle trying to control her blood sugar! A sack of potatoes could keep this job!
Wes Unseld STILL hasnt been fired!

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posted by wizznutzz