So how you like me now Mike WIlbon? Writing your column after the Nets loss about how wiz blew that ganme and were gonna get wiped up on the road and arent a team to reckon with. The only thing mike wilbon pays less attention to than Wiz is his wife. Flapping those mule-mouth pizza-crumb choppers, "look how much it takes to bore me" take a hike pal, wiz are 3-1, out-running old knees, meeting weird northwest mascots. Other teamz have homers in their corner, we got travellers and doubters. Buckhantz is bad enough.
Buckhantz is also well known for being overly anti-climactic and pronouncing the 2nd "O" in the word "sophomore".
I swear we didnt rite that
CHALLENGE: Wizznutzz loyal readers, heres the challenge, go to wikipedia, and try and add wizznutzz maddness to DC player and former playa bios. The funniest one that gets in wins a scratch and sniff Ledell Eackles card and Ken Beatrice will record moans on your answering machine!
Where was I, oh wilbon. So the Nets were no easybeats , they won a million in a row and even beat Pistons in Palace like we did so when they nipped us it was a team of Davids beating a team of Davids, xcpt one of their davids beats giants and wives.
SCOOP!: Wizznutzz spies reports seeing Vince Carter on the Undergorund Railroad aka the Red Line To Shady Grove on way to the game listening to his iPod and pulling on his shandy-boy stirrup pants and what was playing on his iPod??? ARCTIC MONKEYS! No not the popular indie band Arctic Monkeys!!!! but the Arctic Monkeys Kristic and Planinic, who recorded a hip-hop version of Under Milk Wood. Zenad playz the role of Mrs. Ogmore-Pritchard as a streetwise rapping house cat called Toby von Smalls.
Nazir, 8, thinks he's already a better basketball player than dad. Rashida, 2, the couple's only daughter, gets her daddy to sit down for tea parties. Fatima loves watching Wallace trying to delicately hold the tiny teacup by the handle with his big fingers.
Woah that last sentence was almost exactly the same as police report steve blake filed with Vienna Spefcial Victims Unit in 2004
B4 the Nets game Wiz won home and home against Bernie Butterstaff's Bobcats. It was great to see The Baxter back on the floor! What a double header! its like seeing Citizen Kane and a Gnome Named Gnorm back 2 back! Butterstaff actually quoted from A Gnome Named Gnorm when he was describing The Baxter in the postgame press conference:
"Pookah has round Bobos!"
True quote!
Then last night Wiz clocked the SAcraMENTOS Freshmakers even though Tim Thomas was a dirty bird and knocked Caron upside his dome but Steve Stricker slapped some craft paste and a big pink bandaid on the dome and caron was rite as rain, but tim thomas got chucked and best be staying out of Carons ways or he'll get beatdown with a juvie hall lunch tray. Caron makes one call to Oprah, Tims dead in a ditch. Not only that, but Gilbert Arenas was out with the flu, and after he got snubbed by the flu, he has waged all-out war against germs JuanDixon style.
QUESTION: If Arenas if President, and Booth killed the President, will Booth kill Arenas? Arenas is Assassin so will Arenas kill Booth in a pre-emptive strike? Or will Arenas kill himself?
Too bad Gil mjissed the game b/c if hed play it would be Gilbert vs Artest, matching up the leagues two twitchiest players.
INCITE Donnell Taylor when he wears the white headband looks alot like LBoogie, except without the green eyes and he follows the play and not the money trail and doesnt wear a tiara and break his hands handling his breakfast.
Meanmtime Steve Buckhantz continues to count off wizards turnover totals with such an exhausted pleasure. Hes like the Count from Sesame Street, "Three WIzrads Turnovers, HaHaHaHa" . Phil Cheniers also like the COunt, in that he sleeps with his eyes open and smells of hot palms and felt.
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