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Monday, February 27, 2006
 


These are Heady Freddy dayzz for being a wizards fan right? The team is on fire, they are getting up and down faster than jeff Ruland at the sperm donors. Antwan jamison is so good at shooting hes going to try out for US Olympics team and when he gets there he will crush Irans dreaded "beard zone" defense all by himself and on the podium he'll flash the black power salute and controversy will follow him for weeks until he admits he was just reaching up to catch a bacon treat that Abe Pollin had thrown from of the stands. Caron Butler is all muscle and hustle and, OH YEAH, Gilbert Areans is the goddam President!! (His first act in office: Pardon Chico Debarge of course).

Could wizards make playoffs 2 YEARS IN A ROW after 2 decades of Pure Caca??!!
Do you believe in miracles? We do but then we have seen intern and former radio host Ken Beatrice go into the Mothering Hut and emerge cured of "his needs"

So Whats the secret? Bryant Gumbel knows it:
NO WHITE PLAYERS!

Gilberts gone mental, hes the chocolate chicken but he lays the golden eggs! He scored 23 points in one Quarter! Only Mikael SALLIERI Jordan scored more. he scored 24 but he also slept with tyronne lues wife on their wedding day and anyway 24 is only 4 in mule years.

Why is everyone making such a fuss about that school boy who has autism that scored 20 points in a game? Gilberts the RAIN MAN compared to that kid and gilbert scored 46! Gilbert gets no respect.

Adidias if they ever give him his shoe deal are gonna call it... the ZERO!!!!!

Iverson was "the Answer" LeBron is "Air Max" and Jahidi White had the Reebok "Breast Pump" but Gil gets 'ZERO'? Zero, Gil says stands for how many minutes they said hed get to play so its motivational boots he wants, he'll curse those horseshoes even as they hold his gallopp, "i hate you zero boots", DAGGER! Zero is also infiinty and everything and nothing at all, like the manic leaping thoughts in gilberts mind at 3am that just wont line up and lead everywhere and to nothing at once, a zero sum game, the mad total emptiness of the human condition.

I wonder what color theyll be???!!!!

Gilbert said its not about the money (hes already got a PS2 AND XBox and team pays for his shorts). He even says he would pay for the commercial to be made himself. Gilbert why dont you pay the wizznutzz to make it? You know we are like Atticus FInch and accept nontraditional forms of payment for our services (ryhmes with "Shakin")

Here is the commercial we would make for gilbert:
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

[WIDE SHOT]--Its all Black and white (4 sardonic irony yo), and we see Gilbert in a dark gymnasium in his Pajamas, a big "zero" on the back of his pajama top, and then on the screenm in the corner it says "3:27 am..." and Gilbert is shooting shot after shot after shot and hes muttering things to himself like [CLOSE UP GILBERT] "four plus four is eight eight plus eight sixteen capital of florida tallahasee do dogs sneeze? " .....

[WIDE SHOT] --and then the ghost of actor Zero Mostel walks down from the bleachers and the ball Gilbert just shot bounces over to Zero Mostel's ghost [CAMERA TRACKS W/ BALL] and Mostel picks it up (ball is orange, the only color in the scene),

[MED SHOT MOSTEL]
and then Zero starts yelling challenges at Gilbert:

"I hear that you are a lousy 3 point shooter"
and he throws the ball to Gil who swishes a three.

"They say you cant go to your left"

And Gilbert dribbles in and jams it home left handed

"Word is you cant outrun wild dogs in a footrace"

Enter Gilberts pet pitbulls.
[CLOSE UP] Gilbert looks at the dogs.
[POV] The dogs growl and drool and bare their teeth.
[CLOSE UP]Gilbert looks at Zero Mostel.
[CLOSE UP]Then looks down at his Zero sneakers and camera tight focusses on the 'Zero'.
CUT to Gilberts face, he grins.

As we FADE TO BLACK we hear the barking of dogs and the squeak squeak of basketball shoes.

Artistic AND AUTISTIC !!!!!!!!!!

Speaking of dogs...

how about that Knicks game! SO awesome.
The Knicks are like a big expensive troupe of Ballroom dancers.
they r hi-maintenance and fanciful and vainglorious and saturday night they were challeneged to a dance-off at the local rec center by the goddam TAP DOGS and the TDogs gave them a good old fashioned boot-stomping, cuz while Knicks are strictly ballroom, TDogz are a true team, a team of well-oiled machosensuous workmen in humble white tank tops and strech jeans bringing industrial themes to contemporary movement. Like Mike and the Mechanics but as we know they showed Mike the door. But most humiliating for Team Titanic is when they left the dance off, rhinestone body suits all torn up, a hobo confronted them on the subway, screamed "FREE CHUCKY" and stole the teams BeDazzler(tm) and was last seen using it to affix cigarette butts onto the back of his tattered coat to spell "ZERO" .


SO heres the new POP QUESTION since last ones got such great participatin and japes.

What would Gilbert Arenas do if he was President???

Remember, 10 comments = naked picture of Maury Chaykin ( i know we owe you one already but Jaarko left his Maury photos in on the italian subway)

posted by wizznutzz
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