Friday, January 13, 2006
Okay sorry everyone we went down for a while here because Ken shoved his bloody mouth sock into the colecovision cartridge slot.
Well this season has just been shuffling along, right, and everyuone cares only about the redskins and Coach Gibbs while he and mark brunell prepare for the seahawks and for The Rapture. (the signal is Joe Theissman bursting into flames, then they get their sweaters and go to the safe room) and even people care more about Nationals signing that human blood sausage Sam Sosa and the Os getting kicked off the teat while the rest of the litter feeds. Speaking of Os wizznutzz stumble across following top ten list in offices:
Top 10 ways in which steroids may have unintentionally entered Rafael Palmeiro's body
10. New grooming product promised "fuller, more vigorous" moustache.
9. Boogs BBQ's new 'Hickory Cream' and 'Homestyle Clear' brisket sauces.
8. No wonder that Horsemeat on eBay was so cheap!
7. When suggesting acupuncture to Palmeiro, Oriole's trainer Richie Bancells used the poorly worded phrase: "that thing with the needles."
6. Second helpings of Giambi family's annual Yule log.
5. As part of endorsement deal with Pfizer, product tested new Viagra Gold Label: "It's not just for Penises(TM)."
4. Black market Lik-m-Aid.
3. Surhoff swore it was just heroin.
2. Failed to read the fine print on that Testicle-Reducing cream.
1. That time everyone played "7 Minutes in Heaven" at Bruce Chen's kegger? Got stuck with Sosa.
Haha HIGH-LARIOUS!!! yeah right like 6 months ago!!
Meanwhile wiz wandering around aimlesly on court trying to guess Rumplestiltskins name. ( when coach jordan was huddling team in timeout i saw him pull sharpie from nose and write on the clipboard "Is it Rumpyrumpstein?"))
But here is good news in my tunnel: Eddie Jordan tries to change the routine a bit. Mix things up. He stopped sleeping in the bathtub, he now adds water to the Ramen Noodles, and he benched Dick Mittens aka brendan Haywood.
And this means more minutes for Andray Blatche and Donell Taylor! The best garbage time since Unseld and Kupcheck roamed the alleys on recycling night in '81!!! But no one round here remembers the Bullets anymore. Actually one guy remebers the bullets all too well: Andray Blatche! AB drained his first career Three-Pee! Hes everyones favorite manchild. They grow up so fast dont they? (Except for Peter Pan, Jesus, Gary Sinise, and Kwame Brown.) SO enjoy your supple memorys on Andray whiule you can.
And how tite is Donell Taylor?!. Hes a pitbull. Like a black Robert Pack! But we learned something so awesome about Donell Taylor last night. He has a brother!
As he sits down to visit with Donell and Ronell Taylor, an interviewer jots down a reminder: “Donell in gray shirt, Ronell in white shirt.” Without that information, it is almost impossible to tell the twin brothers apart when they are out of their UAB basketball uniforms.
Jarvis and Jonah are so identical too. Like weve said , their Mom says only way she can tell whose who is that "Jarvis bought me the house, Jonah's the better kisser."
Donell and Ronell have best names for brothers!! Not as good as Tex Chapman or Dilbert Arenas or Todd Shamgodd mind you.
And speaking of names, Chucky Atkins has been a sneaky devil? He has been 'chucking' his sperm into his wifes feelopian toobs!!!
CHucky has missed a few games cause his wife had a son. It was a huge monent not just for the ATkins family but for all of black americans.
Its the first African American ever called "JOEL"!!!
Its like Martin Luther Kings dream came true! Not the one about the table and equalness etc... what you think he only had one dream???
Wizznutzz send CHucky a $15 gift certificate to Brevin Knights furniture store for babys and brevins: Bellini Furniture! Our intern Ken beatrice has been product testing a new Norfolk Pine Mothering Hut for Bellini. He is testing for splinters and stain resistance.
Meanhile Coach Jordan has been motivating players by putting up a HUSTLE BOARD in the lockeroom. Its right next to the Rod STrickland memorial "Torpor Board"!!
We havnet seen a Hustle Board used in the locker room since Jahidi White used his Hustle Board to motivate rookies during his weekly Catcher in the Rye shower game.!!
posted by wizznutzz OUR FAMOUS MOTHERING HUT T-SHIRTS PERMALINK |
