Thursday, May 05, 2005
We will not have much too say about the exile of Kwame Brown at this time.
It is diffuicult as incites and passions gather about us like shorts gather at the ankles of G-Wiz as he stands at the front door of Jerry Stackhouse's beach rental.
There lots of lies and stories, Craig Sager reports he sees Kwame eating duck at Mr K's Chinese on Sunday Night. U know who else had name in reservation book that night??
Lots of people are kicking Kwame when he is down especially MICHAEL IAGO WILBON. He is dying to write the headline "Peiking Schmuck" or "Faking Duck." But We warn not to trust Mr Black Thanksgiving so soon. We obtained a paragraph of Wilbon's living will and it involves a meal of its own: having his naked body roasted, roasted with Cuban cheese and with onions and an apple in his mouth and served to Michael Jordan on a silver tray for him to feast upon.
Sager reports Kwame was calm and flaunting his "illness" , yet anyone who knows Kwame knows that if he went to a Chinese restauraunt in real life he would order "Chinese Dressing" for his salad, and when they told him they don’t have Chinese dressing he would NOT be calm, he would be puzzled and aghast.
We said too much already, and we wont say anymore now, and instead we will enjoy the miraculous playoffs for it is a story itself, but fortunately one that doesn’t end in betrayal, Xbox and a pile of tear-stained Armani. We have sent our interns Jaarko Ruutu and August Strinderg on assignment to investigate, like a Laplandish Woodward and Bernstein. They are both from Scandanvia so they have good inquisitiveness, and an air of professionalism and herring hangs about them. They will get to the bottom of this. For now, they submitted their first clue, the real life fortune cookie Kwame opened after his meal at Mr Ks:
posted by Wizznutzz
WIZZNUTZZ LINKS PAGE
I wonder if Kwame is as good at Halo as Gilbert is?
Actually, I also got one of those "Bon appetit faggot -MJ" fortune cookies. I think the fortune cookie companies were just printing them for a while.
Also I forgot to mention that the real secret in Wilbon's living will is that when he croaks, his nuts will be sewn up in a silken sack and grafted onto MJ, whose own nuts were harvested by Karla Knafel.