Wednesday, April 13, 2005

The Wizards ARe In the Playoff Push!

Like Kwame Brown in a French Restaurant, this is exciting new terriotory for all of us!!!!!

It also mean that finally the Wizards are getting some positive press.

Check out this awesome article on Page Two by Eric Neel.

SOme highlights:

- Michael Jordan is dead and gone.
It took awhile, but the Baby Bulls no longer sweat his shadow-casting ghost. And the Wizards, who once were his errand boys, are finally their own men.
So when Chicago and Washington play Wednesday night, with playoff positioning at stake, they'll do so free and clear of their respective MJ legacies, one club trying to live up to what he was, the other to what he wanted it to be.

- Kwame Brown was a shell-shocked baby crawling around looking for the last shred of his self-esteem

- Guys are looking for the big kid. They're throwing little floaters to him on the run, working a bit of inside-out with him, giving him the head nod and finger point on the way back down the floor. MJ and Collins were all over Brown. They had him second-guessing his name and telephone number. It's going to take awhile to see what he has (remember, he's still just 23), to get him back to confident. But if Kwame makes it, if Gil and Larry help ease him into it, the Wiz might really have something.
If he makes it, they might be dancing on Michael Jordan's grave.

Damn Straight Eric!

To all those fans who "lustily booed" Kwame Brown the other night at home: you are a disgrace and little whores.

I can understand the lust part, but the boos!?!?!? ARE YOU CRAZY!
Stats dont tell the story. Kwame has shown aggression and hustle like never before. He keeps his feet sqaure, doesnt bite on fakes like those who "hustle". He is finally making strong moves to the rim. AND he changes diapers. Sure he doesnt finish so good yet and is inconsisntent but you BOO AGE, CHEER YOUTH!

Are you the same retard fans who chanted "WE WANT ROD!" at a preseason scrimmage to tell Wes Unseld to sign Rod Strickland to a bloated contract -- which he did, when he would have signed for a parking voucher for Chico Debarge and a duffel bag of steamed franks.... ????

Kwame doesnt have a heavy and humorless contract (and soul!) like Juwan. Hes young and developing and enormous and your boos will be like a lullaby that puts the woken giant back to sleep.

We have relied on Boogie and Gilbert to get us this far with all the injuries, but if you think we will win a playoff series that way you are crazy. Eric neel is so tru: this last week is time for our big men to get as many touches and too feel as loved as possible by the little ball touchers, to get the ALCHEMY EFFECT (TM) like "DianeSamCoach."

And with all the Wizards have given you this year there is no excuse to boo anybody out on the floor. Week after week setting franchise precedents, sweeping teams, scoring triple digits, going to all star game, making the damn playoffs. We have a pocketful of nuts, we have hope, we have memories. This is all just the Bacon on the Cake!!

"Boom Goes the Baconman!!!!"

"WHERES THE CAKE!!!!"

ALso if you are an "Insider" you can read this article
on the statistical madness that is the Wizards .

BUT BEST OF ALL...

THE UNBEARABLE LIGHTNESS OF BEING GILBERT
An awesdome Gilbert Arenas character study from Sports Illustrated last month.

If you read this article yopu will learn frightening and amazing Gilbert oddities!

1. Gilbert runs with his pitbulls on Treadmills!
He learned this routine from an offseason visit to Exeter England, the home of the Jarvis Hayes working Beef and Sheep Farm!
Jarvis showed Gilbert his prized Fighting Sheep that he trains on these ingenious local contraptions:

2. Gilbert Doesnt Sleep!
Other people who don't sleep include hi-powered CEOs, people being tortured, and NASA employees that make catastrophic errors at the console.

3. Gilberts Dad Was In an Episode of Miami Vice!
He was Tubbs body double!!
Gilbert Senior's linen suits and too much colgone prepared young Gilbert him for life in the NBA. It also explains Gilbert pregame ritual of listening to Glen Fry on his Sony Dreammachine.

4. Coach Jordan calls Gilbert "A Straight Line Assassin"

And Page 4's own David Wesley calls him "a bitch to guard"

Thats funny, because Jahidi White.... well u know where this is going!!!! -- called Steve Blake "a Bitch to guard" during a lockeroom interview in 2004. In that lockeroom Jahidi was known by the media as "Greenspan" owing to the reserves of Kool cigarettes he kept stacked in his locker. With that green currency, Jahidi set the exchange rates for locker rooms SUSANS.

Brent Price's Prison Bitch Name is "SkidMArks"!!!

CHECK OUT THIS AWESOME WIZZNUTZZ GALLERY OF GILBERT AREANS PHOTOS!!!

posted by Wizznutzz | 5:26 PM
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