Sunday, April 24, 2005
WOw so its really on, WIzrads Bulls TODAY. Pinch me GWiz! No, On the arm is fine!!
WASHINGTON : PLAYOFFS
ANNE COULTER : BONAROO
Dear Wizards, Ive grown accustomed to your face, the face of losing, the bits of failure in your beard prickled me. Now its like Im kissing a family member. Its odd, but Im onboard if thats what it takes, and sometimes, Steve Blake, thats what it takes.
Its almost hard seeing your baby grow up and leave the nest, especially when your baby was "incurably" retarded and then you answer an ad in the back of SLAM! magazine for Doctor Gilberts Magic Soap "1001 Uses! Clean Body Clean Mind! Juan Dixon Approved!" and suddenly your child is a Mechanical Enginner and makes love to ladies. But I will welcome strong new feelings in my body this week, but pray they will be gentle with me because its been a long time.
The papers in Chicago seem to be giving the edge to the Bulls. In the tribune they give the Bulls the nod because of "INTANGIBLES"
You want intangibles? Intangibles Thy name in GILBERT! There is no more tangibility in Gilberts mind than there rests sanity upon the straw of the coldest french mental hospitals.
Back to CHicago where years ago we were swept by SALIERI in 3 game but times have changed and now not even Scott Skiles wants Michael Jordan anywhere his team, because he sees MJ for the unswept stone, besmeared with sluttish time, that he is. He doesnt want Sallys losing ways to rub off. There will be no Pep Talk "Go Get Them You Flaming Faggots!" Sally is what they call "A COOLER" in Vegas and in life. But the Wizznutzz have the word JUMPMAN written on our foreskin in Sharpie because we never forget and we want to keep our enemies close to us and we want to keep the men in the urinals next to us as far as possible. And when we are stirred by victory our members delare "FORE!" as God rolls down natures drop top.. oh where was I
MJ. The wizards will be going into CHicago in 30 minutes! to avenge the loss to MJs Bulls in 97 but also to avenge the pox that Jordan lay on our doorstep those 3 years in DC. This is one last chace for us to release our hate towards Air Adultry and then we will wash away the bitter taste onced and for all like Gilbert Arenas washes away the poor first half with a fully-clothed halftime shower.
CALL ME ISH-MAE-MULE!!!!
A man called JON CARAMANICA (not his real name) wrote in the New York Times last weekend about how even NIKE and Spike Lee (aka MULES INC and Mars Blackmon, Senior Stable Boy) are putting Jordan out to pasture.
The story is awesome especuially for capturing the gradual psychological horrors of a once great man coming to grips with his mortality but not coming to grips with it, about a candle that burned out before the legend ever did, about a man who is aoutlived by his boots, and the pain of other analogies! The Death of a Salesman!
It should be called THE OLD MAN WHO LIVED IN A SHOE!!!
You cant see the article online, but one really great part was this:
"To remain relevant - or rather to avoid a slow erosion of integrity - Brand Jordan is slowely shifting its association away from the faiible individual (VERY GENEROUS JON) aqnd toward the unassailable image frozen in memory. SO in a recent series of ads, the idol is being killed off, one 30-second clip at a time."
Ads SEE THE ADS HERE
btw NIKE, you are WAY too late to stop the "erosion of brand integrity". Did we learn nothing from World War 2? There was a reason that Goebbels Active Wear brand was suddenly last years look whenj the Thrid Reich fell.
One day soon, kids wont even know Michael Jordan was a real player, he'll be like Colonel Sanders. No one will know he was a real dude, with real chicken seasoning skills, they will think MJ is just a logo, a mascot,not a real guy who could really dunk and intimidate his family and was a joyless predator and who ate real white peaches.
And thats fine with the wizznutzz. We say Mike is Dead.
A he died doing what he liked doing best, being a a pawn in a game of soulless materialism.
posted by Wizznutzz
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5:23 PM
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