Wednesday, March 30, 2005
Its So great to have Dana back!!
We desperately need that ladys touch, even at $5 a touch!!
Also great is the Wizards travelling out West harvesting nuts and taking names.
This team is saying all the right things about getting that home court and when they do and the Bulls come to town expect Michael Wilbon aka Sancho Panza to be running with them, finally saying all the obvious things the real fans have known for a while, that this team has HI-NRG chemistry from sticking together for a few years , that we need to wrap LBoogie up longtime, that these guys have athletes pride and miracle hops and Indiana Jones arms, and Star Jones appetites, and he will say a few things that we dont like, such as Eddie Jordan being a "players coach" (because hes black???) and Ernie Grunfield being a patient mastermind (because hes white?). But thats for later. ...
For now, the Wiz smoked Portland.!!
Poor Blazer assistant coach Jimmy THE RAT Lynam.
You know Jimmy Lynam, former Bullets coach and only surviving member of the The Lattimer Mine Massacre ???
The Rat is too old for this shit and you could see it in his hollowed eyes and mad hair.
Jimmy Lynam should be doing what he does best, running numbers at the local greyhound track and reviewing books on Amazon
Check out the Lynam Family Crest!!!
And befoire that the Wiz were Sleepless in Seattle!
The backcourt filled up the stat sheet but if you saw that game you know the heart and soul of the victory came from the big men down low, battling and scrapping for every rebound.
5 players are hurt and nobody has the heart to wake Peter John Ramos so that means...
10 Day Contracts!!!!
April is the Wizznutzz favorite time of the year because traditionally the teams stars are sitting out their sore knees and big egos anmd booking their 8-day beach rentals and the team is lottery bound and its time to play the bench and this is how The Ten Day Generation was born.
But nobody told Damone Brown, because he is throwing down slams and draining three-pees like a salty vet!!
The best thing about Damone Brown is that he looks like an "If They Mated" between Randell Jackson and RIP Hamilton, and with his lanky midrange ways, he plays like it too!!
And you know what. They may have mated!
Not in the normal way, so how you ask?
Think about it, the Abe Pollin In Vitro Farm wasnt officially shut down by the Feds until 2001 after an investigation into the Snakehead fish led to the cold concrete halls beneath the Cap Centre, and by 2001, both RIP and Randell had provided urine samples to the Washington Bullets like the league required, except the league reuires a doctor collect them, and NOT Wes Unseld in his duffel bag. Landover residents breathed a sigh of relief when the Farm was shut down and the area quarantined. They remember the horrible tragedy of "The Ledell Experiment" that went awry. How could they forget? But some of these same residents again are reporting some odd activities these days. Especially a "huge limping giant" in a dark coat that moves in the shadows at night. He talks to himself and takes rests every 100 paces.
And Where is Wes Unseld these days one must ask?
Wes Unseld is like Hagrid the Gamekeeper from Harry Potter, (except he doesnt have magic abilities and he hates children.)
But the rest sounds veerry familiar:
"Hagrid the half-giant, is Keeper of Keys and Grounds at Hogwarts. He is a former pupil who left due to 'personal reasons', but who has returned to maintain the school grounds out of loyalty to Dumbledore."
Professor Dumbledore aka Abe Pollin aka Dobby the Nietzschean House Elf needs loyal Wes because only Wes has the hulking size to subdue the Farms more aggressive offspring. Think about it, he can break the strongest ones, and because of his emotionaly impotence he can withstand the psychological horrors of living in cramped spaces with the Farms more inwardly haunted tennants and their screams and rolled back eyes. He is perfect to care for the Magical creatures. Like "GregMallard-rr27" the duck that had a beard and revenge on its mind?? and like that "Wild Boar" the Park Service had to shoot dead on the tennis court.
That "boar" that was wearing jewerly and cologne and the Ranger swore he heard scream:
"There is no pain! There is no law!" but THAT never made it into the report, and why would because its crazy, right???
ANyway.... DAMONE BROWN!!!
Damone Brown, when you sign a 10 Day contract with Washington, you sign a life time deal with us!!!
You are a wizznut all-star for life!
And thats Because we ALL get up in the morning a fight for ouir dreams, fight for our chance at those 10 special days. Some of us are lucky, some of us arent. Some of have our ten days, some of us never will. But we keep at at it because you never know. Your ten days may come on the basketball court, they may come in a Myrtle Beach Wendys, but thats what makes life special, the circle of life, sometimes they say it looks more like a small line of life, with 10 stops on the way and darkness dropping off the end and creeping in from behind.
Speaking of creeping darkness...
I figured Laron Profit would cure cancer before he would start in the NBA!
(This doesnt mean he won't cure cancer though. Every time I try to get my dad to stop smoking, he just coughs and says "Who are you, Laron Profit?")
And Kwame is playing with some passion.
He is actually dunking the ball and fighting with teamates on the bench because he cares so much.
Am I the only one who noticed that when he scowls, how much Kwame looks like MJ?!!
As August Strindberg said to me between big mouthfuls of watermelon at the easter intern picnic:
"The young one is free of Dr Frankenstein now, but the black heart so crudely transplanted still beats dreadfully within the innocent monsters chest. "
Etan has added a spin move and midrange jumpshot to his game and has becoming what Lord Alfred Tennyson declared "double trouble".
Jared Jeffries has developed into a real tool!
He finds the holes in the floor and fills them with hisself, puckers his lips and blesses the ball with a "mind the gap" on the way to the rim.
Everyone knows about the "All-Madden Team", but not as many know about the "All Schneider Utility Belt. "
This is a team of players that actor Pat Harrington Jr. selects every year.
If you make it into the Schneider Belt its the highest honor for utility players and means you do what needs to be done when it needs doing.
Others inducted into the belt with Jefferies this year included former Oriole Jonny Reboulet, Indians player CHico Salmon, and actor Max Von Sydow!!!
Also on the JJ front, Wizards Insider reported yesterday that he wrote "Lil' 2" on his kicks before the game to honor his hardwood mate, Brendan Haywood, aka "Lil 1" (whose hands somehow just managed to get even smaller!)
Did u know: "Little Number 2" is also what the nurses call Abe POllin at the Bethesda Center for Proctitis!?!?!
And Fianlly, Welcome all our latest readers!!!
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