Friday, March 25, 2005

Darvin was beat up but up beat!

Thanks for everybody who cared and let us know they were praying for Darvin.
Thank you Bram for sending the get well teddy bear, it was thoughtful of you to cross out the bears TShirt where it says "I F**ked Bram Weinstein" with a magic marker and write "Get Well Soon!"
And also thanks to Wes Unseld, who crossed of the words "9mm Ammunition" and wrote "Be a Man" instead on that box of bullets you sent, We turned your present over to the authorities!

The wizznutzz gang is a peace gang, as you know and we are sad that domestic violence has become so bad that its now coming into peoples home lives!!! Nobody deserves to be crowned by their lady, especially a simple intern. A simply awesome intern! There is no reason to hurt others, unless they sign a waiver like Ken Beatrice does.

The Wizznutzz ask to Increase the Peace! And we know Abe Pollin that u r dedicated to the community so we ask you:
Change the name of "Wine" to "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Cake"!!!!

Also we recommend drinking wine in empty Pepsi cans the way Jesus enojyed it after a long day of carpentry and miracles! Or like Dana, you can pour wine into Capri Sun bladders, which can be like a pouch of courage in a Leesburg motel room

We ask everyone to respect Darvins privacy and to keep a forgiving mind when thinking of Lady Ham, because even though she doesnt like Darvin spending time with us and even though she was named after an allergy medication, Darvin loves her like bacon loves the morning sun.

As a symbolic act of support, the Wizznutzz took all of our wine and buried it in a shallow grave in the childrens sandbox across from our office.

But There were a few very special botles that we kept because they are rare and important to us personally.

Here is a list of those special wines in the Wizznutzz cellar:

Chataeu Hamslam
Red Style Wine Product

We already introduced you to this agressive blend
Awarded 95 points by Wine Combat Magazine! !

Randell Jackson
Chardonnay
West Bank
1996

This is a dry, 100% Kosher white wine. It displays a lean, angular structure.
The grapes lack maturity however, and this wine is a developmental project.
Best drunk on Tuesdays!
Imported from Israel.

J. Whites
KING BRUT
Leavenworth Pruno Reserva
1998

This is what wine tasters refer to as a "big wine"
The King Brut has notes of cured meat and buttocks.
The unique fermentation proccess involves last-growth oranges and ammonia
which imbues the wine with a solitary, desperate character.
Astringent and heavily fortified, this appelation makes a fine correctional wine!

Chateau LaSooz
Cabernet Franc
2000

Chateau LaSooz has marketed this brand aggressively, and with good reason.
This is a confident, almost masculine white with hints of green apple and pear and an exciting mouth feel.
Look for the distinctive label, which features the smiling head of Susan O'Malleys and the big red words: "DRINK ME!"
This wine is a favorite of gulpers.

Northern Lights
Roscoe Wallace
Yerba Mala
2002

This mellow red is prized for its musty flavor. It displays an herbaceuous personality, with hints of Indiana hay. Harsh finish.
Early vinatages may cause baldness.

Terrapin Bay Wines
Steven Blake Rusty Bay
Still 96
"Gout de Terroir"

The Still 96 is what we refer to as your “basic jug wine”.
A great wine for sitting around and avoiding!
It is a pallid wine, with colors of light straw.
The heavily inbred varietal results in a sweaty wine, with pungent character, and disagreeable notes of raccoon urine and buckshot.
Exhibits substantial bottle stink.
"Gout de Terroir" tranlates to "Taste of the Ecosystem"
Many do not want to put this wine in their mouths when faced with the odor. But be brave, what lies beyond can be glorious.!
Illegal in California.

Terrapin Bay Wines
Mont Jaggers
PG County Semillion
2004

Under the direction of obsessive winemaker Juan Dixon, Mont Jaggers is the little winery that could.
This Semillion has a young but meticulous composition. With a 94% alocohol content this wine is enjoyed for its antiseptic qualities and displays an underestimated grease-cutting formula.

Brown Brother
Le Homme Enfant
Saviour Ranch Noveau
2000

The breathtaking Saviour is made from first growth pinot grapes, which are very sensitive to environmental factors and difficult to ripen and accordingly produce a wine that is fragile and easiliy humiliated.
This bottling exhibits a firm, pliant acidity offset somewhat by its uneven, unpredictable finish.
Hints of ebony and black cherry. Displays long, occasionally akimbo, legs but very small hands.
Screw top. An excellent salad wine.
Shake before serving.

Senor Ike's
Kneehigh Premier Roquefort Sangria
1992

The gold standard in cheese wines, the Premier Roquefort boasts a buttery texture.
Boot aged. Spreadable.
Available in 2%

posted by Wizznutzz | 3:07 PM
0 comments
WIZZNUTZZ LINKS PAGE

0 Comments: