Friday, January 28, 2005  




A NUT HARVEST FOR THE AGES!!!

Squirrels and also ANTs collect seeds for the winter, while the greedy grasshopper thinks only of today and eats and eats and saves none for later.

TEAM GRASSHOPPER
John Williams, Rod Strickland, Scott Skiles, Tracy Murray, Ledell Eackles
Lorenzo Williams (Injured Reserve)

TEAM ANT!

Jeffries: ANT! Ruffin: ANT! Dixon: ANT! Thomas: ANT!
Arenas: ANT!
(also Chocolate Chicken! )
Also the Randy Squirrel!

The ANTZ run and gun cuz trhe Wiz dont BLINK. Peter John "PJ" Ramos literally doesnt blink, because of soft Puerto Rican laws on industrial pollution. He pours gatorade in his eyes to stop them from crusting up. (In Puerto Rico the cherry gatorade running down his face was often mistaken as STIGMATA and earned him the nickname:
Peter non Colpevole ("Virgin Pete")

The team is holding strong now that LBoogie has unlaced his dancing shooz.

Juan Dixon is biting ankles with the confidence that comes from a lifetime of being told "No you cant!" and also the confidence of wearing antiseptic trousers as a young growing man.

Constable Hayes has a swollen thumb but a swollen heart as well.

B Haywood is vanishing quicker than a glass of warm scotch at an Unseld family reunion.

Jared Jeffries is playing the clutch D with go go gadget arms

Etan is getting his groove back, even though he is struggling to find his rhythm like a poet who rimes "disheveled skies" with "Nigh comes the bacon man?"

Samaki is Swahili for TINMAN!

Steve Blake is zipping around, engulfed in his signature cloud of filth, like Pigpen in Keds!

Kwame Brown has his foot in a moonboot because of Postwerior Ankle Impingement.
When he was dunked by God in Gorgeous OIl as a baby they held him by the ankle!
This is not the first Posterior Impingement to happen to a Washington baller, but it is the first that didn't involve a frozen pigtail! Holla Randell Jackson! Holla Gaithersburg Special Victims Unit!

And then of course there is Gilbert Arenas, the Original Chippendale. Gilberts passing out dimes! Hes also passes out in bathtubs quicker than Liza Minelli after a Zima breakfast!

And the mainstream media is taking notice. As we said before, Its only a matter of time until espn the magazine runs a probing profile titled: "Whats Eating Gilbert Arenas?"

They say Gilbert was a knucklehead and now hes a team player, but Gilberts still stone cold crazy.
Crazy enough to actually believe the Wizards can win.
Crazy in his twitchy smiles and shy social manner, and he is crazy in his passion for the game and crazy in his unpoplar opinions on rape in the animal kingdom.

posted by Wizznutzz | | 4:10 PM
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