A lot of you wonder why Our Lord Savior Kwame Brown's name is attached to salad dressing references. It has to do with ointments that we disciples apply to the body of the Very Reverand Kwames so that we on earth may glorify He with a pure heart and gameworn shorts. Insha'allah!!! To paraphrase Ezekial 16:7-14, we slowly bathe a beatific, practice-moist Kwames with holy water and then put ointments of oil & vinegar on his barking dogs, soothing his devilish broken foot, wicked bunyons, and satanic plantar fasciitis. Duppy Conquerer!!!
Salad dressings come from the Revelation our Prophet received during his rookie year. Here's the full story from the Washington Post, and here is the key excerpt:
On a road trip to Boston, the Wizards took him to an elegant French restaurant. Brown was not just shocked, but outraged, to discover that the restaurant did not serve French dressing. "Can you believe that?" he says. "No French dressing. In a French restaurant."
Then there was the matter of the salad itself. "It was tree roots," he says disgustedly. "Leaves. And branches."
For weeks afterward, Brown took a bottle of store-bought French dressing with him whenever he went out to dinner.
You see, it's all about how Kwame is slowly becoming spiritual and multicultural, the leader of free men and buff youths in sweaty tanktops, with French dressing being but the first ointment of His Church. Next week Kwames discovers the healing powers of I-talian.
Insha'allah!!!
Posted by God Shammgod, WizzNutzz intern
