Han-mu, Da-wen Han-mu.
2-0!!! Bring the rapture W! Im ready 2 die!!!
Great game at Bobcats aka the Wizards of the Southeast aka Bernie and the Butterstaffs!
INCITE: having a scoring big loostens the middle!
Old faces! Brevin Knight can rest at peace now that he doesnt have to ask "where do i come from anymore?" And Brevin when he rests he rests in crib from Bellini store that he for real runs with wife when not hunting rats. Nellie offers to Pimp His Crib, sleep like a baby in your developing persons bed cut from hand hewn pacific redwoods with Jim Lynam leprachaun mobile and gin bar! Nellie courtside last nite. jahidi anbd Nellkie! Nellie, meet Bessie, Bessie meet Nellie! Notslagic wonderment of seeing Bernie tight lipped and exasperated by loose play, lockerroom immodesty!
Cheniers Ghiost, special to wizznutzz and asian manservant calls in for TRUE LIFE ACCOUNT of postgame show wrap up when Brian james joyfully discussing princeton offense exclaims "I Love Me SOme Back Door ACtion!" TRUE STORY WHOZZ GOT TIVO!!?!?!?!?!
EXTRA SPECIAL TO THE WIZZNUTZZ international intern Irven DeVore, spends time with young men in other countries, files special Wizznutzz report":
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WIZZDOM OF THE CHINESE!
FIVE THOUSAND YEARS OF CULTURE LEADING TO WIZARDNESS!
BEIJING, PEOPLE'S REPUBLIC OF CHINA--Traveling in the Orient in the offseason, I, Prof. Irven "Magic" DeVore, have made a discovery. At a newsstand here, I obtained a document of tremendous importance and implications:
the July issue of the exquisitely bootleggy SHOW TIME magazine, special "BAD BOY BACK" championship edition.
Truly, the Detroit Pistons are Champions of the WORLD: Pistons pictures hang over couches in living-room displays at IKEA Beijing. And here in China, professional-grade basketball is ripe for refinement, cost-conscious engineering, and successful re-importation to the United States. Yao Ming and Laron Profit are only the beginning; we face a global revolution in this game of lanqiu. As Chairman Mao himself said, "The world is progressing, the future is bright, and no one can change this general trend of history."
True! But there is a place too for Wiz in the global marketplace! Magazine treatment shows that not only can ex-Wiz be re-engineered into world-champion Pistons, but they can be retrofitted with authentic CHINESE IDENTITIES. All participants in Detroit's march to global greatness are profiled in SHOW TIME with a minimum of a half page apiece. And each profile includes a specially chosen NEW NAME for the player, fully rendered in the Chinese language!
In the interest of global understanding and after much struggle with dictionaries, I have been able to translate each name back into English.
SPECIAL AND EXCLUSIVE to the WIZZNUTZZ, here are the Sinologized and re-Anglicized ex-Wiz, spelled out and reinterpretated. All translations guaranteed 100 percent approximate!
Pronounced: Ben Hua-lai-shi
Translation: Root China-Weeds-Gentleman
Commentary: Sturdy yet overgrown! And undeniably a gentleman! Ben Wallace!
At Power Forward:
Pronounced: La-xi-de Hua-lai-shi
Translation: Pull-Strange-Virtue China-Weeds-Gentleman
Commentary: Did someone say "weed"? And "strange virtue"? Gentleman Rasheed Wallace!
At Shooting Guard:
Pronounced: Li-cha-de Han-mi-er-dun
Translation: Logic-Investigate-Virtue Chinese-Confidential-You-Kowtow
Commentary: He logically considered his own abilities, and secretly concluded that Salieri should bow to him--not the other way around! Richard Hamilton!
And . . . on the Championship Bench . . . !! . . . . :
Pronounced: Da-wen Han-mu
Translation: Intelligent-Language Chinese-Governess
Commentary: CHINESE GOVERNESS!! NUFF SAID!!!!! HAN-MU SLAN-MU!
SPECIAL BONUS INCITE:
Investigation reveals that, while leading the Guangdong Tigers to first place, LARON PROFIT also was baptized into the Chinese faith! Actual 100 percent authentic fact!
Pronounced: La-long Pu-rui-fei-te
Translation: Pull-Prosperous Universal-Lucky-Fragrant-Unique
Commentary: THE EAST IS RED!!! Truer truths were never told!
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