Speciallly WizzNutzz exlcusive INCITES from our faveorite proffersor:

The very honoroable
Prof. Irven "Magic" DeVore

I watched yesterday's performance from excellent rafter seats, as if I were Elvin Hayes' number or the Mystics' Attendance Championship banners. Somewhere in the third quarter, I started to form suspicions, which became a hypothesis, which became a theory. I'm speaking here as a trained Biological Anthropologist: Gilbert Arenas appears to possess an auxiliary brain in his hindquarters, like the stegosaurus.

This enlarged ganglion gives Arenas his preternatural quickness. Unfortunately, it also tends to rebel against the commands from upstairs. This would explain why sometimes when he commences his drive to the basket, his feet cut left and his torso cuts right. It is why, when he dribbles on the fast break, he sometimes tries to put the ball on the floor only to find his kneecap in the way. The Wizards are plagued by Internal Strife in the most true and horrifying way: Arenas lives in a perpetual state of rage and trepidation, never knowing when his legs will strike out on their own. He lashes out at Kwame Brown with displaced wrath meant for his insubordinate Stegosaurus Brain. This is real science.

(And this is numerology: is it an accident that Jarvis Hayes wears 2-4, the reverse of StackHUOSE's 4-2, and that likewise when Hays shoots the patented Stackhouse Paint Chipper (TM) off-balance 10-footer from the baseline, it actually goes into the basket, in direct contradiction of the Stackhouse style?)

Oh, Jesus Kwame! Where's Kamall when you need him!?!? My mind = blown!!! NUMEROLOGY AND TWINS EFFS ME UP!